[ her breathing turns fast, much faster now that she is so aware of it, and she has to take a moment to recenter. wipe the tears away with the back of her wrist, wishing to swallow down the pain in her chest as easily as the lump in her throat. she too wants to walk away and curl up somewhere no one can see. pride will not let her feet even think of bucking.

instead she tries to get a grip. breathing in sharp through her nose and then out her mouth, then doing it again a couple times. it's what it takes before she can finally answer. ]

I... no. Yes, and no. [ the memory is clearing up, at last her grasp on what was taken away bringing the memory back. ] Rex and I were trying to reach an escape ship - that's why those soldiers were waiting for us. They knew we would have to go through them to make it out alive. The ship was going down, so doing nothing wasn't an option.

[ she sniffs hard, now remembering how they got into that situation. reliving it all over again, she's shocked at how calm she was through it all. who was that woman who could be so composed in grave danger? it isn't her, not right now. ]

Something was done to the minds of the soldiers, and they lost all sense of self. They were ordered to kill me and their orders were more important to them than their lives.

So I fought, but only to protect. Not to kill.