bachagain: (pic#13969664)
leo "thotfoolery" tsukinaga ([personal profile] bachagain) wrote in [community profile] tabularasa_rp 2020-11-01 03:52 am (UTC)

[ nope. nope. nope.

they still hadn't run into cole. the guilt from that is enough to choke him, the fear of thinking that cole is hurt, out there, and it's his fault... izumi letting go of his hand, admitting he's scared, is just the cherry on the piece of shit sundae.

it's not undeserved. leo-- doesn't know what to do. what to say.

after all, he was scared too. scared that it was that easy to cut down someone he loved again, even through the hints of hesitation he can recall. so, how would it feel to be witnessing that? to be on the other end of that blade?

he's scared now, with the thought of seeing sena's back combined with cole's back and just being alone in the aftermath of his mistakes. but what was the source of that? it was sena, it was sena, it was sena, and this time he really can't shut that wrong, wrong thought up.

he already wants to actually vomit from recalling the feeling of his sword in cole's flesh, but here's the word vomit: ]


... You think I wasn't scared? I thought maybe we understood each other a little better after Requiem... but maybe we didn't, if you think I didn't know that was too far. Man, who knew you could get hurt this much without a blade?

[ no, he already knew that. ]

Anyway, are you gonna act like just a victim when that's what you wanted first? It must be really convenient, to have a sword you can swing around, blame... then still have it come back like a boomerang!

[ he can't get hurt if he hurts first, right? no, no, nope. horrible, horrible, horrible.

releasing those words sure lessens the effect of those whispers in his mind, though, and he regrets that they got loose almost immediately. no, maybe he's the one that didn't learn after requiem-- ]


Ah, wait...

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