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tabularasa_rp2020-10-15 06:47 pm
tabularasa_mods) wrote in tabularasa_rp2020-10-15 06:47 pm
Entry tags:
- *game event,
- *mingle,
- *open,
- 2064 rom: turing,
- dragon age inquisition: cole,
- elsword: add,
- fate/grand order: merlin,
- ffvii remake: aerith gainsborough,
- ffvii remake: tifa lockhart,
- ffviii: rinoa heartilly,
- ffxv: noctis lucis caelum,
- kid icarus uprising: viridi,
- original: melinoë,
- persona 5: kasumi yoshizawa,
- persona 5: ren amamiya,
- pokémon: raihan,
- pokémon: samuel oak,
- starbound: indigo,
- super mario: bowser koopa,
- watch_dogs: damien brenks
004 - Lucid Dreaming
Lucid Dreaming
Event Info Pt.1 ▲ Event Info Pt.2 ▼ CommentsAs a final reminder, all characters will fall asleep for the full duration of this event whether you decide to take part or not. You may continue tagging threads that take place before the event, but everyone will fall asleep simultaneously.
Falling Asleep, Waking Up
The shift happens without warning, much like the first time people appeared in the world. Perhaps you remember what you were doing in the last moments before a strange feeling of exhaustion overwhelmed you - or perhaps you remember nothing at all. Whatever it may be, you've appeared somewhere new. A seemingly ordinary train station, if not for the bizarre walls of flesh blocking the only exits. The only path forward is down into the pulsating depths, a humid breeze pushing at your back.
There may be others here with you, or you may be alone. Could there be more people trapped in this strange place? You won't find them just by standing around.
Nightmares
The screeching of a distant train will echo through the tunnels on occasion, shadows flicking through the translucent flesh of the walls. Sometimes, however, instead of fading away the noise will only grow louder, closer, until it sounds like the train should be upon you. It never appears, but something else always will.
The train is a siren call for nightmares, and you're unfortunate enough to be their victim. The shadows turn alive, twisting and growing as they rise up from the ground and begin to transform. What form they take varies, but the shadows of the mind know the true fears of those who walk among them. Are you prepared to face the darkness?
Volcanic Panic
The shadows congeal at the edges of the floor, and soon after a hot orange glow begins to fill the room - molten lava is pooling in from the other end of the tunnel. It rolls slowly forward, devouring everything it touches with an unquenchable searing hunger, leaving behind only the charred bones of its victims... although, strangely, the tunnels themselves appear to be completely unharmed.
Outrunning the flow of lava shouldn't be a problem, but there seems to be no end to it. How long can you run from something that never stops? Or worse, what happens if you find yourself surrounded? You'll need to find a way to higher ground before that happens.
A Radiant Plague
The shadows rise up into familiar shapes, and at first glance it'd be easy to mistake them for people. They may even share the faces and voices of people you know, stumbling towards you with wide, open arms... and empty, glowing eyes filled with an orange light. Something smells sickly sweet, and it's only once they're close enough to grab you that they begin to attack.
These are not your friends, and they'll do whatever it takes to make you one of them instead. Unfortunately, it's not an experience you'll be able to survive. Your only hope is to fight back before the plague can take hold, lest you become another mindless husk that knows only to further spread the infection.
Trust No One, Not Even Yourself
The shadows stretch and fill the air, choking everything in a thick blanket of darkness... before dispersing just as quickly as they'd appeared. A few moments pass and nothing else seems to be happening. You must've gotten lucky this time!
... Or did you?
Surely it can't be that simple. Nothing else here has been, so something must have happened just now. It's only you and the person you're currently traveling with... but are you sure that's really them right now? How do you know they haven't been possessed by another nightmare, waiting until you let your guard down to stab you in the back? Should you interrogate them to be sure, or start with restraining them and ask questions later? Wouldn't it be better to just kill them before things get out of hand? The sooner you strike, the safer you'll be when their true form emerges.
Yes, that must be the real explanation. It has to be them that's been possessed by a nightmare. What else could it be?
Joker’s Wild
There’s no limit to what form the shadows can take. The world may have its own perception of fear, but your nightmares are something only you could understand. What darkness lurks in the depths of your heart?
cw: suicide/suicidal thoughts
--before, he had truly, truly, truly wanted to die. to cease existing, because living was just too painful. in the present, with what feels like izumi's blood on his hands, he wants to die even more. he doesn't want to live. it's painful, yes, but beyond that, he's not sure he even deserves it.
not that it matters, anyway, because he doesn't. rabid thoughts that felt like they were being pulled out of him by gravity come rushing back with add's rescue, running through leo violently when he speaks.
-- expect someone to swoop in and save your ass every time you do something stupid--
there's a hope that hits him suddenly, wrapped in guilt. and, without thinking, leo can only conclude: ]
... Sena?
[ it's obviously not. when leo turns around frantically to meet add's eyes, it's obviously, obviously not. ]
Dee-de-- [ oh, no. even with the haze in his mind, he can remember that add hated that. hated him, maybe. ] Mm... Um, Sorry. Add. You still mad...?
[ even pretending to muster the energy is too much for him, as the exhaustion tears through him just from that alone.
ah, he'd really done it. this really happened. leo sure is enjoying standing on this cool hoverboard, yeah, but actually now he'd really like to get off it so don't mind if he's pulling lightly against add's grip on his shirt.
it hasn't quite settled what being at the bottom of the chasm means, so that's gonna be even better. ]
no subject
The confusion is brief, though, before Leo's energy seems to drain away again and he meekly apologizes for something pointless. For the first time it actually stings to have Leo call him by something other than that dumb nickname. Add frowns back at him, looking a bit exasperated, but... mostly he's just relieved, and worried. Yelling is just how he expresses himself. If he's mad at anyone, it's himself for almost letting something like this happen.
If he'd chosen to put this off again, to turn away when Leo was about to fall... he never would've been able to forgive himself for it.]
I'm not mad. Just... don't do something stupid like that again, alright? [a little softer than his usual tone
The danger has passed, but something still doesn't feel right about any of this. Leo is still acting weird... so Add is reluctant to let go of him just yet. That light pull isn't going to be enough to get away.]
What happened? Izumi was looking for you, I thought you'd be back together by now.
no subject
but here, leo can only go rigid at the request for an explanation, the mention of izumi's name, not quite expecting it to come out from add. leo doesn't want to say it out loud, he doesn't want to say it out loud, and it sinks in just then where they are.
his eyes wander through their surroundings, until he realizes he shouldn't look. there's no answers for add's question, only actions that'll probably attract more. ]
I don't wanna be here.
[ leo's outstretching a hand to pull hard on the nearest piece of add's clothing he can reach, as if that'll somehow make him more convincing. they're just playing clothing tug-of-war here! fun! ]
Go up, Add. You hate me, right? 'Cause I was awful and hurt you, so I shouldn't be asking you stuff, but-- you gotta go up. I don't wanna-- I can't be here--
[ because then he'll want to search. and what he knows he'll find is something that'll tear him up ever more. ]
no subject
something like—]
Tch. Don't tell me... you two had a fight, didn't you? [obviously. they had a fight and split up. that must be it!!
He sighs again, feeling kind of awkward now since he... doesn't really know Izumi all that well, either. Add isn't really equipped to deal with this type of conflict, y'know? But he's been there, in a way, and maybe he feels he owes that much to Izumi for leading him around in circles before. The least he can do is try to clear all this up.
First thing's first, though. Leo is kind of freaking out on him—he hasn't figured out why yet, maybe it's just because it's dark down here or something? who knows—but "up" isn't a problem. He lets go of Leo's shirt to put a much firmer grip on his shoulders.] I will when you stop squirming. This is harder than it looks, you know. Dynamo isn't built for two people.
[but Leo is a twink, so it can definitely handle their weight just fine. Add is going to politely tolerate whatever clothing of his Leo has decided to cling to as well—pet the fluffy coat or something, maybe that'll help him calm down. Once he's certain Leo isn't about to fall again (he is not doing that rescue a second time) they slowly start to ascend...]
I don't know what you two said to each other, but I don't hate you, and I doubt Izumi does either. That guy isn't afraid to call you annoying, but he wouldn't be looking out for you so much if he didn't care about you. This place is messing with everyone's heads... so you shouldn't let that get to you. That's just what this hellhole wants.
I owe that guy a favour, so if one of you needs to apologize I'll beat the sense back into him if I have to. Until then you're just gonna have to deal with me being here, 'cause there's no way I'm leaving you to fend for yourself again after that.
[They just need to find Izumi again, and everything will turn out fine... yeah!!]
no subject
this is... the worst? the worst. it's like being stuck in an elevator with someone who won't stop talking, though normally leo would be fine with this. it just-- it feels like add's every word is meant to stab him emotionally. add's every word is stabbing him emotionally. it's really unfortunate. were he not being held together by dry silly putty, leo would've appreciated the effort.
instead, it's just triggering his self-hatred. stop reminding him about all of this. stop saying things he should've already known. stop rubbing his face in the shit he shouldn't have questioned-- ]
... Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up--
[ leo's aware add doesn't deserve that. add deserves gratitude, thanks, for even attempting to support him.
ah, he'd yelled like this at izumi too, hadn't he? back when he was stuck in his room, lamenting over his fuck ups. maybe he shouldn't have left there, if it meant it was gonna end like this. ]
You can't pay him back. I owed him too, y'know, and I can't pay him back either. 'Cause Sena's--
[ he feels sick.
thanks, add! ]
cw: suicide, probably still relevant
You can't pay him back. I owed him too, y'know, and I can't pay him back either.
... did something else happen to Izumi—to Sena?
I don't wanna be here.
Wait. Why was Leo was looking down into that pit before he fell?
Their ascent is halted as the realization hits Add way, way, way too late. And for a minute he almost considers going back down... but it wouldn't make a difference. Dynamo would've notified him if there was anything alive down there.
There wasn't. If someone else did fall... well. The drop would certainly be enough to be fatal. Checking the body would be a formality at best.
Let's maybe not traumatize Leo any more than necessary today.]
... Sorry. I didn't mean to— [bring up your dead friend in the worst way possible, right after you tried to kill yourself
... he really can't think of a more tactful way to finish that sentence, so he's just going to bite his lip to stop his dumb mouth from babbling any more and continue on with their ascent in silence. At least they're almost there now... he'll figure out what the hell he's supposed to say once they're back on solid ground, maybe.]
no subject
there's nothing besides a small sound of acknowledgement at that. the tight grip on add's clothes loosens, as the nausea, grief and anger drain leo again. he wants to tell add that it's fine, that he didn't know, he didn't have to apologize, that leo doesn't actually deserve that anyway, but it's hard enough to stand.
when they finally do reach the top, he's going to move to be a useful lump on the ground. it doesn't return any of his vigor, doesn't make it any easier to breathe, but at this point he knows nothing he does will.
add's still here, though. as much as leo tries, he can't ignore that. ]
... You can go if you wanna. I won't get angry. I won't tell anyone you did, either, so...
[ he feels like add won't, because he's kind like sena was (ah), but he says it anyway. ]
no subject
He folds his arms, leaning back against a wall formed from his dynamos. He probably doesn't have to say he's not going anywhere, yeah, but just so they're all on the same page]
I'm not leaving you alone. Don't make me repeat myself.
[Whether it's for an unfulfilled debt to Izumi or his own peace of mind... he's still not going to abandon Leo. Not a chance.]
We should move. Those shadow creatures are still roaming around, it wouldn't be safe to stay here.
no subject
honestly, the thought of roaming around meatmentos to meet shadows that might take the form of izumi now doesn't appeal to him more than just sitting here and waiting for this all to end. somehow.
but he doesn't want to look that pathetic in front of add, who's stubborn enough to stay here until he gets his ass in gear. ah.
god, just leave him alone so he has an excuse not to try.
leo shuts his eyes. then, he stands up again. ]
... Mm. Okay.
[ lead the way, add. ]
no subject
But the frustrating part is that he knows he can't do anything about it. Add knows what it's like to lose someone important—he's lost everything before, and there's nothing that can heal a wound like that. People can't be replaced. This world is a nightmare, but is it real? What happens if someone dies here? There are too many unknown variable for him to be making empty promises. The best he can do is prepare for the worst and make sure Leo survives.
If there's even a way out of this hell... it feels like it's been weeks now, and it's really starting to get to him. But he can't show that weakness when Leo must be feeling so much worse.
They begin to move forward, Add opting to stay off his dynamos for now so they can form something of a safety net around the edges of the path. It's pretty narrow in the middle... but he'll keep pace alongside Leo for as long as he can.]
All that shit I said before, about you being useless... I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight. [to put it lightly. very, very lightly.] I used to be more obsessed with that kind of stuff, but that's not fair to you at all. Getting stronger was my choice. It's better if you don't have to live a life like mine.
[It's fine if Leo is weak, because he's the warm kind of person that others want to protect. That's its own kind of strength, in a way.]
no subject
leo doesn't. it's the easier thing, to fall back into the past and just fully embrace the fuck-ups... to fully sink into old feelings and be alone. but he hated that, he hated that, and it's what got him to this point in the first place.
add may say he doesn't have to get stronger, but leo thought he really, really did. he wishes he could apologize. the thought makes him sick again. ]
I don't care about that stuff.
[ ... wait, that's a flippant way to say it. he's just-- tired, and his brow furrows at how that comes out of his mouth. at least his expression's not just blank now. ]
I mean, about what you said... I'm not gonna lie and say it didn't hurt, but if someone comes back after saying that, I don't really mind.
[ that's the truth of it. so, the sorry's not really needed. add just returning to be here would've been enough. it's-- it doesn't seem like enough now, but that has nothing to do with him, so.
after a small little exhale, leo continues: ]
... Tell me more about that life, Add. It doesn't have to be about that, just... Anything.
[ he was curious before, after all. if add's talking, leo'll urge him to. if add's filling the silence, leo doesn't have to hear it. ]
no subject
He's quiet for a moment, staring blankly into the distance. For all his boasting and his ego, Add really isn't the type to talk much about his past. There's a lot that he still doesn't feel ready to talk about at all, and he absentmindedly rubs the back of his neck as they walk, tracing the edges of the old and faded scar...
But there is something, perhaps, that he can tell Leo about. Something that wouldn't just dampen the mood even further.]
... Hm. Well, I never properly thanked you for that memory you gave back, did I? [you know, from that time he serenaded Leo with his dorky idol music]
Back then... I was looking for a certain machine specimen to help accomplish a goal of mine. But she was travelling with a group of people, so I had no choice but to try and infiltrate that group in order to get what I needed. It was an annoying task since I wasn't really used to dealing with people. I'll admit I wasted a lot of time observing from afar because I wasn't sure how I should approach. ["a lot of time" read: almost 3 years, actually. it's kind of unreal just how shy and awkward he is considering it took 3 years of observations before he felt comfortable introducing himself...]
Heh. It was supposed to be a temporary allegiance, but somehow I ended up staying with those idiots long enough to get caught up in their absurd heroics. I guess you could say I've helped save the world now? But it's... not so bad. They're the kind of soft-hearted idiots that can't turn anyone away, so it's no surprise to me now that they welcomed me so earnestly back then. And I guess that's started to rub off on me, too.
[it's a life he never could've imagined for himself five years ago, and now he can't imagine living without them. funny how these things happen.]
You'd fit right in, if you ever met them. Hell, I'd almost think you're related to Elsword if I didn't know any better. Loud and air-headed, selfless to a fault, wouldn't hesitate to forgive someone no matter how badly they fucked up...
no subject
it's nice, that add has people like that. but you know, hearing all that stuff right now? that hurts. it's a reminder, a reminder that moves the numbness, gets the feelings rising up from his stomach to choke him. he can feel his eyes wetting. ]
You're... gonna insult me right now? Clumsy ... S'not like I can get mad, though, if you say I remind you of someone important.
[ there's no bite to that, not like before. leo says it more for the sake of it, to fill the space where he should speak as he blinks back tears.
that's not really succeeding, and he puts a sleeve up to his eyes. ah, no. no. breathe, leo.
breathe. breathe.
in the ensuing silence, leo thinks there's some fragments of add that remind him of izumi. that thought gets killed immediately, painful as it is. yet, he still can't help but ask-- ]
... What do I do, Dee-dee?
[ --it's a question he might've posed sena, who he always showed his vulnerability to, but.
but-- ]
no subject
It gets quiet again, though, and for a moment he wonders if he might've said something wrong when Leo seems to be struggling, holding back tears that threaten to spill over. It's a pathetic sight... something that he can do so little about with his limited knowledge and experience. He's really not good at this comforting people thing. Is there anything else he can do...? Instinctively, Add draws his dynamos closer until the trio next to Leo are practically resting on his shoulders. The machines hum softly, emanating a gentle warmth. Yeah, that's as close to a hug as Leo is gonna get. Dynamo is trying their best today, too.
The silence is broken, eventually. Add frowns, still staring straight ahead in an effort to give Leo a semblance of privacy. What do I do, Dee-dee?
He sighs, thinking of a scared and lonely boy, his whole world gone up in flames around him.]
No matter what... you have to keep moving. Because giving up on yourself means giving up on the person that was precious to them.
[... and he hesitates, briefly, before quietly continuing, his earnest thoughts flowing out before he can think to hold them back] Impossible things have happened before. Especially in this place... accepting "reality" so easily, it's hardly a necessity. So giving up before you're sure there's no chance... tch, what did I tell you before about giving up too easily?
[it's an empty, flimsy hope, but it's one that he grips all the same. it's the only thing that kept him going all these years, after all. the determination that nothing, not even the laws of reality could stand in his way once he decided what he wanted. he'll tear the world apart and rebuild it from scratch if that's what it takes.
Izumi and Leo are only really acquaintances, but since he's already on this detour, he might as well see things through as far as he can before going back.]
If you can't believe in it yourself... then at least believe that I'll look for that chance with you.
no subject
... not what leo expected, no. from the warmth of dynamo (that catches him off-guard immediately, causes him to startle slightly in confusion. he raises a hand closer to the three near his shoulder, not quite touching--) to add's words, that he feels he doesn't entirely deserve. there's the complicated layer of leo feeling like this whole situation is his fault but, ultimately, the most important thing is...
add thinks there's some chance. even if leo's tired, and useless, and broken, add'll aid him in finding it. perhaps it's desperate, how quickly he latches on to that. maybe he's looking for an excuse to deny the alternative. maybe it's an echo to-- something, something in the distant past. if it's not just his stupid mind thinking it, then...?
the advice given to him may have been to keep moving, but in that moment leo -- overwhelmed by that, by everything else -- stops. now the tears really are just falling, and he wipes at them as quickly as they come. he'll take care not to smack dynamo by accident, at least.
so thoughtful.
so frantic, as he whispers: ]
Yeah... Yeah. I won't give up, I won't give up, I won't give up--
[ give him a moment.
somewhere under all of this, there's the beginnings of a deep, deep gratitude. ]
no subject
Leo is practically bawling his eyes out now while Add stares on in helpless confusion. Should he just stop talking? Is this, like... good crying? Or is Leo crying because Add is being an insensitive ass again? Fuck, maybe he shouldn't have said anything at all—but it's too late to do anything besides double down, so he eventually works up the courage to put his hands on Leo's shoulders, trying not to look too bewildered by all of this.]
Hey... take it easy, alright? You're doing fine. You... you don't have to try so hard on your own.
[because he has friends that can help him out... that's probably something Elsword would say. ugh.]