[As predicted, his muscles tense when Ren takes his hands, his fingers seizing up as if broken. He chances a glance at Ren and his heart aches once again like it's simply too full of emotion, winding up through his lungs and choking him.
Ren says he loves him, and Akechi almost laughs in his face. No, he doesn't, he wants to point out. He's confused love with lust, he's confused loyalty with romance, he's confused. He's just confused.
Which makes the open honesty in his eyes even harder to fathom. Even if he thinks he loves someone like Akechi, he'll be proven wrong. He'll hurt him, betray him, lash out and act out until even Ren can't forgive him anymore. He's not the kind of person who's loved except from a distance as something he's crafted himself to be.
But Ren's confronted the worst parts of him, over and over, and he's still reaching out. Still wants to be with him. Still says he loves him.
Akechi yanks his hands back in a sudden motion, swallowing hard against those same emotions that are trying to well up and choke him. He should say something. Ren will see his silence as rejection. He needs to fix this.
Instead, barely able to breathe past the choking vines climbing up his throat, he simply leans in. Slowly, as if expecting to be rejected himself, he rests his forehead against Ren's shoulder. He's so scared of being thrown away, but he's so tired of being constantly afraid.
He closes his eyes and reaches up with both hands, gripping Ren's back with the fierceness of a drowning man, a wordless attempt at acceptance while begging to be accepted in return.
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Ren says he loves him, and Akechi almost laughs in his face. No, he doesn't, he wants to point out. He's confused love with lust, he's confused loyalty with romance, he's confused. He's just confused.
Which makes the open honesty in his eyes even harder to fathom. Even if he thinks he loves someone like Akechi, he'll be proven wrong. He'll hurt him, betray him, lash out and act out until even Ren can't forgive him anymore. He's not the kind of person who's loved except from a distance as something he's crafted himself to be.
But Ren's confronted the worst parts of him, over and over, and he's still reaching out. Still wants to be with him. Still says he loves him.
Akechi yanks his hands back in a sudden motion, swallowing hard against those same emotions that are trying to well up and choke him. He should say something. Ren will see his silence as rejection. He needs to fix this.
Instead, barely able to breathe past the choking vines climbing up his throat, he simply leans in. Slowly, as if expecting to be rejected himself, he rests his forehead against Ren's shoulder. He's so scared of being thrown away, but he's so tired of being constantly afraid.
He closes his eyes and reaches up with both hands, gripping Ren's back with the fierceness of a drowning man, a wordless attempt at acceptance while begging to be accepted in return.
Akechi hugs Ren and almost starts to sob.]