[He is giving Exarch the most incredulous look right now, still struggling with his broom handle as the bristles get more and more destroyed.] Seriously? You think that isn't the first thing I would've tried?!

[also, fuck your robes, they're a sacrifice he's willing to make for the sake of getting rid of the haunted vacuum (not that anyone seems willing to listen to his orders...)]

Nothing mechanical could possibly make it behave this way, so it must be something— [spooky] something else responsible, like a parasite or some stupid remote magic controlling it, so once that's destroyed everything will be fine! I just have to figure out where it's being controlled from!