Don't be. I'm used to this sort of thing. It happens a lot.

[He rocks his chair a little on its two back legs, knocking the front ones against the floor.]

I heard the 'computer simulation' theory and it doesn't hold up well. Not out of the realm of possibility, but for me it's been five years since I was dragged out of my home reality... that's a long time to keep someone captive in a simulation.