[closed] I don't believe in much but I believe in you

[halloflamer]

Who: Blue + company!
What: Sometimes you pine so hard you turn into actual pine(?); Closed toplevels for the event!
Where: Various!
When: Mid-February, mostly
Content Warnings: Probable graphic illness/blood descriptions, as you'd expect!



[Toplevels below! Hit me on kitsoru if you want to plot something!]

Comments

For Cole- start of event

[halloflamer]

[For once, instead of being inside the bar and tending, Blue is wandering the outskirts of the trails around the bar; he's been feeling a little under the weather today, waking up to his head feeling oddly swimmy and a nagging cough that just won't quite clear up. Some fresh air is obviously what he needs, so he's committed to a hike from the apartments, around the bar, and maybe even up the side of the mountain.]

[Crossing paths with others in the void was always a chance thing, since there still weren't any real daily cycles and everyone had their own pace; but he recently came upon the habit of trailing around the newly opened-up ley lines to eavesdrop on anything interesting- for lack of better things to do. It helped him take his mind off of the loneliness he'd been nursing for a while, immersing himself in other people's problems- whether it worked, or not.]

[Stooping over to another coughing fit, he looks back up again to see a familiar figure standing further down the trail, and calls out with a wave.] Oh, Cole! Over here--! [COUGH, HACK. Shouting was maybe a bad call.]

[theforgottenboy]

[It just happened suddenly, the same way most things in this world seemed to change. Whatever the reason, this place finally understands more about what he's supposed to be.]

[Except, it's a little overwhelming. Maybe because he's technically been without it for so long, or...?]

[When Blue finds him, he's just holding his chickpeewoo companion in his arms, listening to its comparatively simplistic mind. Until he hears his name being called, and he looks over-]

[There's pain there, some physical but there's more, deeper. He's only brushing the surface, but it still feels like more, harder to separate from himself. He forces himself to focus, heading in Blue's direction.]

What's wrong?

[I mean, it's not exactly a greeting, but since when has Cole been good at those.]

[halloflamer]

[Blue shudders in place as he stops, hand still mid-wave. The accusation is caught out on his face obviously enough, even if Cole couldn't hear the unfiltered guilt running through his mind--] Haha, what are you talkin' about?

The hell, am I that obvious!? ...I mean, everyone knows about how I've been lately, but still...

[Guilt wells up, and with it loneliness, embarrassment, and longing. Red is all that's in his thoughts lately when he wakes up, and when he goes to sleep, and he's felt it furling in his chest slowly but surely for the last month, to say nothing of the last week, consuming him.]

[He tries not to let it show, of course. He's never been exactly great at deflection.]

--Oh, you must be talkin' to your Chickpee there! Right? How's the little guy doing?

[theforgottenboy]

[Even if he's normally accustomed to sensing these kinds of things, there's something different about it when he's gotten used to talking to people like Blue without having fully heard them before. It makes it that much more overwhelming, and it's a moment before he responds, lowering his head and hunching in on himself (and his pink friend) as if in pain.]

[Which, in some way he is, but it's not his pain. Everyone knows? His voice trembles slightly with the weight of Blue's feelings.]

I didn't know. You didn't say anything, not to me. You don't have to hide from me.

[Sorry about your weak deflection attempts.]

[halloflamer]

Huh...?

[Blue stops in his tracks, his brow furrowed in confusion. Without context, it's not immediately obvious to him what Cole is responding to; but then again, considering the conversations they've had in the past- he can't really say it's a total mystery, right?]

[Reluctantly, Blue drops the obfuscating cheerfulness and rubs a hand at his throat as he suppresses another instinct to cough.]

Okay, man, I get it. Sorry, I wasn't exactly trying to tell anyone, you know? [His eyes glue to the ground as he toes at it, hands sliding into his pockets.] Figure the gossip gets around this place quick, anyways....

[theforgottenboy]

[Maybe if Cole learned how to gossip, he would have a much easier time sticking his nose into everyone's business. But as it is, he doesn't need to ask anymore. Or at least, he can ask more pointed questions.]

You keep thinking about him. Red. Laden with longing, but left behind... you feel bad that I noticed, but it's hurting you. Why would you hide it?

[It's probably pretty clear what's happening by now, in case Blue still had any doubts.]

[halloflamer]

[Making a face at the spot-on description of his emotional state, Blue bites his lips- to hold back saying something mean, more than anything. It's not the first time he's been called out like this, of course.... Nor is it the first time he's had a Psychic go peeking to see what was going on with him.]

[Though at least she had some context.]

Listen, you shouldn't just listen in on people whenever you want, [Blue scolds avoidantly, glancing away. He fidgets, but he's trying to come up with an answer.] ...It's not something that's easy to talk about, so why would I?

Nobody here knows our history, anyway.

[theforgottenboy]

It's too loud not to listen. Everything is, it's- freshly changed, forced in and through, churning all together til it flows over.

[He takes a moment to focus on the "nug" in his arms, and the much calmer not-thoughts and simple contentment it provides.]

You feel so lonely. But you don't have to be alone. I want to help.

[halloflamer]

[Blue has absolutely no idea what any of that means, but he's struggling to try! Changed? Forced? Flows over? Sounds more like water than sounds to him, and he ponders what Cole could mean before he gets... more specific.]

[Frown. Oh.]

--It's. [Ugh, how does he put this? It wasn't anything Cole could help... He couldn't bring Red back. And nothing could replace Red.]

[He glances away again.] I appreciate it, but it's not something that's easy to fix.

I mean, not unless he comes back, anyway. I waited a long time already.