tabularasa_rp | (open) can't hold on or life won't change

[His heart leaps weirdly in his chest when Ren kisses his gloved hand, and without really thinking about it, he spreads his fingers to gently brush them against the other boy's lips. It's slow and hesitant, like he isn't certain if he's allowed to do something like this. Acting in the heat of the moment is easy, but something so quiet and casual like this is somehow frightening.

His fingers still and draw back as Ren speaks up; he needs that hand to push himself up higher on the bed, concern leaking into the set of his eyes.]

What are you talking about?

[He certainly hasn't noticed a change in the way people treat them.]

(The lips turn into a smile when they're not pressing another kiss to the knuckles, eyes closing to the gentle touch, even if it was so short-lived with the hand being taken from him. He blinks a few times, head tilting before he just shakes it.)

Don't worry so much. (Nothing has changed, last time he checked. People know what they know and mostly understood.

From his experience, that doesn't tend to last. The first slip and it's over.)

We should be on our best behavior, that's all.

Edited 2020-10-13 23:25 (UTC)

[Oh... so that kind of gentle touch is okay. At least, Ren seemed to enjoy it.

Akechi searches his face for an explanation, eyes narrowing when one doesn't come.] Obviously. I've said it before, haven't I? There's nothing wrong with presenting oneself in a favorable light.

[The difference is that Akechi's "favorable light" has always been an act, whereas Ren's has always been nothing but genuine. He sighs and shakes his head, tugging off his gloves with only a grimace from the pain in his injured shoulder.

Once his gloves are off and discarded beside him on the bed, he reaches up, bare fingers ghosting along Ren's chin as Akechi studies his face.]

What concerns me is that you feel the need to say so. What happened?

(Ren's not saying that they should change, but perhaps, they would benefit from laying low and calling less attention to themselves until things calm down, at least. Until whatever next nightmare the Void puts together makes the memories less vivid, less relevant.

The touch is unexpected, especially with the warmth of Akechi's fingers in contrast to the cold texture he had been kissing. Ren leans in a little, almost unconsciously... Until he is presented with the opportunity of actually talking about it and he freezes, microexpressions of a small frown forming.

How to even put it?)

My full record is out.

(And he has told Akechi before that the Interrogation Room and Casino seemed to be the Void's favorite memory to pass around.)

I just want to make sure it doesn't become a problem. (Again.)

[Ren really is catlike in more ways than one, huh? Akechi's struck by the absurd desire to scratch under his chin, but instead just presses bare fingertips to his lips as he'd done before when he still had his gloves on.

It is... troubling, to say the least, to know that Ren's record is out in the open. He knows firsthand just how much that bothers him. His thumb gently presses into the corner of that frown as if he might be able to ease it through touch alone, though he knows that's unlikely as anything.]

I don't think it will be a problem for you. [His thumb whisks up, gently caressing Ren's cheek, marveling at the idea that he just can.] You've already created strong bonds with many people here. Something like that won't be enough to break them. If anything, once exposed to the truth, your circumstances may cause people to respect you more.

[Akechi, on the other hand, is still dealing with the consequences of having his own darker past exposed, the wound in his shoulder one of the more obvious ones. And so maybe he can't help but sound a little bitter as he adds,]

The only true blot on your record for the people here is me. You understand this, yes?

Edited 2020-10-14 00:23 (UTC)

(Akechi is not wrong on his cat remark, especially with how Ren's eyes gently close to receive the caresses, enjoying them to the point that even the touch on the frown alleviated the tension building there.

To a certain extent, Ren knows it's fine with certain people - Leo, who happened to get most of his bad memories, still seems to treat him the same aside from the remarks here and there. Phantom Thief this, Phantom Thief that... It's much more amusing than annoying.

But not everyone can have watched Ren be listed a series of crimes or be brutally arrested and wholeheartedly believe him on his word alone. Ren sighs, taking the hand that caresses his cheek to kiss before he does something out of pure impulse - don't think about it, Ren can't explain aside from "he feels like it".

Tentatively, Ren rests his head on the thighs, looking up at the man as he gently rests Akechi's hand on his own chest.)

I see it differently. (To the last part, of course he does.)

Edited 2020-10-14 02:17 (UTC)

Of course you do.

[Akechi starts to lift his hand when Ren shifts, uncertain what to do with it know; thankfully, Ren's already ahead of him, holding it close to his chest. Like this, he can feel his heartbeat beneath his fingers, strumming strong in a steady beat. His fingers curl gently against his chest, but he scoffs and shakes his head nonetheless.]

Well. I suppose it isn't a bad idea to stay on our guard, especially now that you have Takamaki-san and Yoshizawa-san to look out for.

(After hearing it so many times, it's not a scoff that will make him worry. Instead, all Ren does is circle his thumb against the skin, gently in caress as he closes his eyes again.

He's strangely comfortable, and most importantly, Akechi seems fine to have him there. Much more important than his comfort is respecting boundaries, after all.)

She seems terrified. (Sumi, he means. Ann is not comfortable here either, but in her own way, she's much less dependent on Ren for things.)

I'm going to keep a close eye on her.

[It's strange, how Ren's hand like this doesn't provoke the same kind of defensive anger that he's being pitied like a hand on his back does. It feels nice, Ren's callouses and rougher hands strong against his own softer skin.

It takes a little effort, and it's not without a grimace of pain that he shifts again, turning just enough so as not to dislodge the other boy, but instead reach with his other hand to gently let it brush against the unruly curls atop his head.

No sooner has his hand reached for him that it stills, a serious frown curving his lips once again.]

I suggest keeping an eye on her from an appropriate distance, [he cautions.] You won't be doing her any favors by coddling her.

(Ren taps a finger on the other's hand when he sees the grimace, wordlessly like he's asking of the other to not move much if it will hurt. Ren could move, it wouldn't have been a problem if it would keep the injury from stinging, but there sure is a smile to feel the hand in his hair.

Akechi's hand is smaller, he's noticed, and much softer in comparison to his - all the tool-making and training and whatnot created a contrast between delicate-looking and rough-textured. The softer hand is moved again to lips, Ren pressing a kiss on a knuckle while he thinks and hums.)

You're not wrong. (Obviously.) I just want to make sure she's familiar enough with the Void.

Hm.

[He ignores Ren's wordless request, because of course he does, and only hums in response to his statement. The other boy is smiling, and that's worth any pain.

Ugh. What a sappy fucking thought. Still, he lets himself stroke his hand through Ren's hair, tentative like trying to pet a stray. His hair is a different texture to his own, as well; it truly is unfair how soft it is when he has first-hand experience with how little effort the other boy puts into maintaining it.]

She's updated you on her... situation, then?

(Oh, he puts a total of three percent of effort on it - he makes sure not to comb it back so it doesn't dry weirder. The same amount of effort he puts on his skin, remarkable and unfairly clean when one considers the fact he simply slaps bodywash on it.)

She has. (And he isn't sure what to feel about it. It feels strange to have done something and either not remember, or actually not have done it himself. An empty, incomplete victory.

Well, "he" kept his promise after all.)

How do you feel?

...

[His hand stills in his hair once again, a familiar worm of dread snaking its way into his heart. Surely he isn't asking about Yoshizawa's acceptance of herself, her determination and willingness to move on as herself, no matter the pain she'd suffered in her past.

Surely not.]

You forget that I knew some of this already, [he observes, voice carefully neutral as he forces himself to resume petting Ren's hair, though he doesn't really feel it.] Yoshizawa-san has a tremendous strength of will when she's willing to use it. Once you pulled her from Maruki's grasp, she simply had to learn to stand on her own two feet. I'm not surprised.

[He knows it's not what Ren was asking about, but he can't help but be obtuse. It's in his nature.]

(He isn't. That conversation is meant for her and he has had it, even though he surely is smiling through the summary. It's nice to hear Akechi mirror his exact thoughts - it surely makes him feel like words are not always needed.)

Which is why I think she'll be fine here. She just needs to find her strength to do it.

(He certainly noticed the avoiding of the question, but Ren won't push at it.)

[He simply hums in agreement. He'd given her a rundown of what to expect in the Void; the rest is up to her.

As for what her presence entails, related to him... he'd said he'd wanted to be a better person for Ren, hadn't he? Isn't that what he and Blue had discussed? So after a few moment's silence, he exhales a soft sigh, stroking his fingers through Ren's hair again.]

I... apologize for doubting your resolve, [he says finally, combing a bit of Ren's hair between his fingers as his gaze drifts away.] I should have known you would challenge Maruki no matter what.

(In the short period of silence, Ren allows his mind to wander, Akechi's hand near his lips being the target of another silent kiss, longer and lingering.

There's just a lot in his mind. Ka-- Sumire's well-being a top priority as of now, and he's not going to coddle her, but there should be at least some amount of protectiveness so that she can adapt and grow accustomed to the nightmare that is the Void. Lend her a little bit of strength, he thinks, while she builds up the nerve to do it herself.

Ann has been quiet. Memshare was not kind to her, much less showing her what she allowed him to go through - even if there wasn't a soul on either heaven or hell that could make him choose a different outcome if it meant his friends would be safe. He knows that eventually, she'll come around and that he needs to make changes, be a better friend. He doesn't know where to begin.

Akechi's shoulder seems to be improving quickly, which means that soon, he might leave Ren to his own apartment. It's bittersweet - half of him happy to have been given the opportunity to take care of the other and see what it results in, and the other half of him reluctantly admitting that he wished it would last longer. After all, the company is more than welcome and it helps him navigate the relationship they're building.

The other can be annoying sometimes, nagging, but it brings Ren joy that he just isn't able to hide, even the short smile on his lips that show while the thought comes and goes.

Finally, the other speaks and Ren opens his eyes, blinking to get used to the brightness again.)

Thank you. (Ren gives the other a nod and a blinding smile. Akechi truly is trying, isn't he? Ren can tell - apologies, returning caresses, honesty. Things might suck a little right now, but here, inside those four walls, they finally are falling into place.)

(open) can't hold on or life won't change

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awww..... also potential royal spoilers from here down

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