tabularasa_rp | (closed) rivers in the deseeeeeeeeeert

[He keeps his eyes closed, even as his death-grip on Ren's back slowly relaxes into something more like a proper hug. Ren's not pulling away. Ren doesn't want him to leave. Akechi's still not completely certain if he wants to stay, but Ren had asked him to. Ren deserves that much, at least.

Ah, but there is something he needs to make indisputably clear. His voice is low and soft, just enough to reach Ren's ears without going much further.]

I would do it again, [he says, exhaling against Ren's shoulder as he finally puts something into words that he's been thinking for a long, long time.] You understand this, correct? I will always come back to you if it's within my power to do so, but I will not shy away from the possibility of death if it means you would survive.

(Akechi doesn't say he loves Ren back, but he doesn't need to. Ren knows he feels the same, from the quiet, soft kisses that sometimes Akechi allows to the way Akechi makes amends, tries to be better whenever he sees an opportunity to do so. Ren feels it.

The hug softens on Ren's end, but not because of the words and what they mean, but merely because Ren's hand finds its way to the other's hair in a caress, while the arm around the other maintains its hold, trying to keep Akechi safe against him.

Ren knows that too. It's the second time, after all, and it's not like Ren wouldn't do the same if the situation called for it.)

I'm aware. (There's a beat where Ren just breathes, his turn to hide against Akechi's neck, delivering his gentlest kiss onto the skin since Akechi's forehead was out of reach.) I don't want you to have to do that again.

(And that responsibility falls on Ren. Be more responsible, less reckless. Think with his head rather than his gut.)

I don't want to lose you. (Again... And again. And again, if they go home. Surely their deal still stands, he will face Maruki with all his might when the time comes, but fuck, he will loathe facing the consequences.)

[He huffs through his nose and turns his head to rest more comfortably against Ren's shoulder, his eyes open but not really seeing as he stares across the room.]

And I do not want to be lost. [His voice is soft and just a little sad, buried beneath the dryness. "Lost," hm? It's a good way to describe how he felt drifting in that endless white void. If that's what's waiting for him after death...

He shudders involuntarily and grits his teeth for a moment, forcing himself to recenter, using Ren's warmth and the steady sound of his beating heart to bring himself back.]

And yet, you have a future to return to, Ren. [A future that he doesn't share. He can't quite keep the pained bitterness out of his voice this time, even as he tries.] I will make that same choice as often as I am able to.

(Does he? Akechi won't exist anymore when they return and face their fate and as for Ren, he will go to prison, for God knows how long considering he is the leader of the Phantom Thieves with a prior. He has been asked what he wanted to do with his life and the answer never comes, he had already braced himself for whatever kind of future he could have with his record on his back.

Akechi, on the other hand, doesn't seem to be dissuaded from his self-sacrificing when it comes to Ren. He only stepped back a little, taking a hand to his chin to lift his head gently, slowly not to scare the older man and caress his cheek with the one that left his waist.)

I won't let it come close to that ever again.

(He won't let death knock on their door, come close to either or any.

If Akechi looks, Ren's eyes send a message, a very clear plead for the other to not leave again.)

[Akechi lets Ren lift his head, breath catching gently at the touch to his chin as he straightens. He tilts his head into Ren's hand with the same caution that a feral cat might, ready to pull away.

But he doesn't. He meets Ren's eyes, the corner of his lip twitching into a hint of a sad smile. Neither of them can control that. Facing Akechi's cognitive self was only proof that things remained, as ever, entirely out of their control. But he doesn't say it. They both must be thinking it.

He reaches up and mirrors Ren's hand on his cheek, a leather-clad thumb brushing over his cheekbone. A beat, then he leans in, closing the distance between them with a kiss that isn't hungry, isn't wild and feral, but hesitant and heartfelt, as if somehow that gesture alone might convey what he can't do in words. He can't promise to always be there with Ren. But they can enjoy the time they have together.]

(It's in moments like these that Rens know Akechi feels the same, when Akechi doesn't pull back from intimacy. It allows Ren to tuck his hair behind his ear as his thumb caresses the soft skin, the hand on the chin dropping back to their rightful place on Akechi's back.

There are things that are out of their control. Ren doesn't dispute this, but if there's one thing he is sure of is that he will fight to be with him, regardless of what the Void or even Maruki throw his way. He will never stop fighting for them.

A kiss comes with a cold caress and Ren closes his eyes to return the touch with one of his own, patient and emotional as if he was channeling all the love he feels into the action. When they pull apart, he remains close with his forehead resting on the other's, a sigh before he can repeat what he had already said. This time, however, he intertwines his fingers with Akechi's to lead them to his chest, where his heart strums, loud as a parade.)

I love you.

[Another huff through his nose. He can't be truly surprised that Ren can say such things so easily, repeat them as if they mean nothing at all. Even when he knows that the other boy means every word he says, it's still so difficult to believe.

But he can feel more than hear the beating of Ren's heart, steady and sure and strong as always.]

You're a fool, [he murmurs, with the same gentle ease that Ren said I love you. As if it isn't intended as an insult at all.] And yet for some reason, I believe you.

[His free hand comes up to press gloved fingers against Ren's lips to keep him from saying anything else about that. His heart feels too raw already.]

Now. Shall we get to business? [He gently taps his fingers against Ren's lips, once, twice, then finally pulls them back as he himself steps back.] Has this world changed at all since we've all awoken?

(It only makes Ren smile. It's not the first time Akechi replies to Ren's feelings like that, and even then, it just endears him more. It never reaches his ears like an insult anyway.

Ren kisses the leather-covered finger before it leaves his lips, along with the rest of this wonderful man as he goes beyond Ren's reach and yet, the boy's smile doesn't fade one bit. Instead, he complies with moving on, returning to the kitchen to get a bowl of curry for himself. Is he surprised that Akechi is already up and eager to know what he missed? Not really.)

There was a fight while you were asleep.

(That was the only remaining information that he hasn't yet provided. Ren finds his way to a chair, an ankle resting on his knee while he takes a spoonful.)

Edited (oops html) 2020-11-16 23:33 (UTC)

A fight?

[Instead of sitting back down, Akechi remains standing, the hand that had been at Ren's lips going to his own in interested contemplation. It doesn't sound like anyone had been hurt from the casual way Ren mentioned it. He frowns and rotates his shoulder that had been injured before their stint in not!Mementos as if remembering the last fight he'd been in here.]

I take it you weren't involved.

Not directly.

(He only shrugs to his own words - he was there, not fighting, only trying to make sense of the scene before him when Yoshizawa came to retrieve him.)

Someone did the Lord's work and kicked Kaiba in the balls.

[Akechi snorts, then laughs, an ugly sound of pure schadenfreude.]

I doubt he'll take it as a humbling experience. Still...

[It isn't like Akechi cares about Kaiba one way or another. But it does bring to mind another specific incident, and his shoulder aches with a phantom sympathy.]

I am concerned about potential strife amongst the people here. We have yet to institute a system of laws or punishment. As people start to grow restless, we may see more of that. And how, exactly, will you counter?

Probably not. Ann tackled the guy, though.

(And here is where he keeps his eyes on Akechi, like he's expecting some grand comment on their behavior or probably a sneaky remark.)

Without institutionalizing something, it's just based on personal morality. (Honestly, when he decided to reform society, he never expected he'd have to write a constitution one day, and yet, here they are. Short of needing a constitution.) I need to learn about what happened properly still.

(closed) rivers in the deseeeeeeeeeert

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p5royal spoilers

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