[OPEN] Keke, that is incomprehensible! But… it’s worth the try.

[psychokinesia]

Who: Add & you!
What: A catch-all for November, feat. Add trying to harness the power of electricity via questionable life choices, trying to drown out all the nightmare-induced trauma with copious amounts of caffeine, and becoming a robot?? maybe???
Prompts will be in the toplevels, but feel free to hit me up at BlueFlewFedUQueen if you have any other ideas!
Where: Various locations (mainly Takoba Beach, the Merlaut and Heavenly Blanc)
When: Early to mid "November" (time isn't fake anymore i guess but months still are SO)
Content Warnings: None yet! unless you count like... trying to get hit by lightning?? it's fine. he's fine. I'll update this later.

Comments

Merlaut Apartments, Room 205 | Haunting

[psychokinesia]

The peace of the Merlaut is shattered by two distinct and loud noises: the panicked shrieking of a man who sounds like he's being murdered, and... a vacuum cleaner.

If anyone follows the noise to room 205, they'll find Add backed up against the wall, swinging a broom at a standing vacuum that is positioned menacingly(?) at the edge of his bed. It sucks at the bottom edge of his sheets—maybe it's trying to climb up there? But, you know, it's a fucking vacuum. What's the worst it can actually do?

But it's also a possessed vacuum, and his dynamos are currently AWOL, so Add is just going to keep screaming bloody murder until the evil is defeated.

[kimihiros]

(it took kimihiro a while to explore the merlaut apartments building. busy trying to make sense of the world around him, kimihiro eventually found himself in need of a bed and rest before he figured out what he'd like to do. mugetsu too needed a proper nap, the poor thing was basically snoring against the man's collarbone.

he was about to make it to the second floor when he hears the screams, along with the suction noise. following it in a rush, kimihiro takes a while to properly process the sight in front of him - or even, half the sight, since one eye is useless and all he sees is the vaccuum.)

Oi, oi. Calm down. It ain't going to hurt you. (possessed appliances? tsukumogami for sure, he barely has to think about it. kimihiro leaves out a short laugh, moving his head so he can see add to direct his bow properly in his direction and finally, he steps inside the room.) Excuse me.

[psychokinesia]

[Add continues swearing incoherently, only growing more agitated now that this random stranger is trying to tell him that this clearly cursed and unstoppable object of murderous intent isn't going to hurt him. He's being fucking haunted???? He's already tried everything he can think of it won't STOP until he's DEAD and no one can save him because this thing SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO MOVE, HE WAS HAVING SUCH A NICE DREAM UNTIL THIS SHIT STARTED HAPPENING—

but lo, the slightly less panicked part of his brain catches up and realizes that this random stranger might be trying to help, which means that, if nothing else, Add may be able to use him as a distraction to save himself and get the fuck out of this cursed apartment. He stares at the stranger—no, his hero—with a pitiful look, channelling the last of his courage and shredded dignity into one brazen command.]

Shut the fuck up and stop it, then!

[kimihiros]

I'll think of a price later. (sorry add, this is actually a business transaction to him and this is literally part of what he does on a daily. he would be willing to do it for "free", having just company as payment for calming the angry spirit, but add's manners made him reconsider and he's definitely charging this somehow.

it's with all the patience in the world that kimihiro kneels in front of the possessed vacuum, patting it gently.)

He doesn't use you enough, does he? I get that you're upset. (whether that's true or not, sure is true for the vacuum cleaner. with the other's abrasive personality, he already anticipates a sound of opposition or denial, so he just holds his index finger as to say shut the fuck up yourself. in response, the vacuum only increases the suction on the sheet, as to agree.) Don't worry, let's fix this.

(veeeeeeery calmly, kimihiro takes the hose in his hands and gently starts to vacuum the other's room with a huff. unbelievable. finally, eyes turn to the man who was screaming bloody murder not too long ago, nevermind that again, he can't see him due to the limited viewpoint.) You. I'm not a maid, come take over.

[psychokinesia]

[It really is a good thing the window is on the other side of the room, otherwise Add might already be considering throwing himself out of it a second time instead of waiting to see where this goes... but the ghost still has him cornered, so he can only watch on in confusion as his hero starts trying to vacuum the floor.

That... isn't helping?? He channels his fear into outrage at this useless exorcist.]

What the fuck do you mean, come take over?! I'm not touching that thing! No way in hell! And even if I did, does it look like I'm in any position to be cleaning right now?! I can't even fucking walk!

[He does kinda have a point, as he pulls back his protective(?) sheets to show that yes, his leg is still in a splint... which, uh, might actually explain this? He sure hasn't been doing much cleaning ever since he broke that leg, and a vacuum isn't something Dynamo can use on their own.

Not that any of this matters to Add, because the problem is that his vacuum is haunted. Clearly this calls for a different solution.]

Stop messing around and throw it out the fucking window! Do something!

[kimihiros]

I am.(first of ALL, kimihiro is not an exorcist!! he can help them pass if they so wish, but this one? this one is no such thing. add truly is taking kimihiro for granted, with all his expertise. he huffs, clearly displeased at add's ignorance... until he sees the leg.

fine, the man caves. it's a good enough reason, so watanuki continues to vaccuum, the spirit finally settling.) It's a tsukumogami. It will only possess whatever it is you're not paying attention to. You'd only make it angrier.

[psychokinesia]

You think I care how it feels?! I want it out of my damn apartment! Stop— stop trying to act like this is normal, you freak!

[yeah, because that answer is definitely going to make his haunted vacuum stop tormenting him. It revs its little motor again in protest... so please don't pay any attention to Add inching just an eensy bit further away from the edge of the bed...]

If you like it so much, you can have it! I don't care what you do with it! I just want it gone, okay?! It's not like I've been using it anyway! I'll get a new one! Just take it!!

[kimihiros]

So I'm sure you can handle it yourself.

(kimihiro bows to the vacuum cleaner, or more specifically, to the spirit that inhabits it, and he narrows his eyes at add right afterward. if he only had SHOWN HIM SOME RESPECT he'd try his very best to appease it, he'd even have a talk to the spirit, but NOOOO, add had to be ingrate.

with the wave of a hand, kimihiro is ready to leave.)

[psychokinesia]

W-wait, where do you think you're going?!

[DON'T LEAVE HIM ALONE WITH IT

he's too scared to leave the safety of the bed (and also, still has a broken leg) but he'll bravely scoot over to the edge of it again, one hand reaching out as if he might somehow be able to grab Kimihiro from across the room. truly, these are desperate times...]

Fine, whatever, I'll do what you say! Just... just don't leave me with this thing! You have to tell me how to get rid of it!

[don't make him say please this is already such a traumatic experience]

[kimihiros]

(ugh FINE. he takes the hose once again, but instead of circling around the other's room, he just sits on the bed to be closer to the other.

the vacuum, finally, starts to calm down. it no longer produces a thundering noise nor does it dance in anger and frustration in order to get attention. when kimihiro feels that it's okay, he simply turns off the device.)

It will follow you, I believe. All you have to do is remember to use it, or else it will keep on pranking you like this. It just wants attention.

[psychokinesia]

[For a moment he thinks he's being betrayed again, leaning as far away as he physically can from the dreaded Cursed Vacuum when Kimihiro decides to just sit next to him... but he is trying to have the tiniest bit of faith in this stranger, and sure enough, the haunted machine seems to calm down to something almost normal...

But he still doesn't trust it. He'll stay at the opposite end of the bed for now, thanks.]

Yeah, sure, attention. I can do that. [oh yeah, he'll give it attention. he's not taking his eyes off this fucking thing ever again.] It's not... I mean, whatever was making it do that, it's gone now, right? So that shouldn't happen again anyway.

[kimihiros]

No, that's not how it works.

(right when add seemed to have calmed down... but kimihiro prefers to just rip the bandaid and tell him the truth rather than to just have him believe it won't happen again - it would be his fault if it did, would it not?)

It's there forever now, all you can do is use it and console it if it feels neglected.

[psychokinesia]

What the hell? I thought you knew how to fix it! [IT'S CURSED FOREVER?? THIS IS NOT OKAY?]

If it's going to do that again I'll dismantle it, burn it and dump it in the ocean! What kind of shitty fucking solution is "console it if it feels neglected"?!

[kimihiros]

It's not broken, you idiot.

(his patience is wearing so thin, so so so thin. he rubs his temples, sighing as he stands up.)

It's a spirit. It may possess other things. Are you dismantling everything you own?

[psychokinesia]

It can possess other things?!

[was it possible for Add to lean away any further? yes, apparently. forget taking his eyes off it, he can't even risk touching that thing now.]

S-stop joking around! Seriously, like I'm gonna fall for such a stupid prank... it's obviously just some kind of spell, and magic can't move around like that. I know that much! Talking about spirits and nonsense like possessing things— tch, if it's some kind of contagious curse then there should still be some way to remove it. Just because it's magic doesn't mean I can't solve it with logic. If you don't know how to remove it, just say you don't know how to remove it and leave the weird spirit talk out of it! I'll fix it myself!

[he's definitely not getting defensive what are you talking about]

[crystaltower]

[The Exarch was hardly going to miss the screaming as he made his way to his own apartment. His ears perk up, swivelling to find the source, and he hesitates for only a moment before he makes for the noise because someone is in trouble. The door swings open as he pushes it, and he surveys the scene before him, determining quickly that a machine is misbehaving.

It's not even a threatening machine!]

What in the world is going on in here? Do you need help?

[psychokinesia]

[Add is more prepared this time, but there is still an embarrassing amount of screaming and yelling going down here. Also, the vacuum has managed to grab hold of the brush-end of his broom, this is clearly a violent attempt to disarm him before the vengeful spirit unleashes its true murderous power—

He struggles to keep his grip on the broom handle as he shoots the stranger a crazed look. Shouting over the roar of angry vacuum:]

It's fucking cursed, needs to be destroyed!

[crystaltower]

...I am not sure I would call it cursed...

[Though it certainly seems to be misbehaving, and a little puzzled the Exarch steps nearer to lay a hand on the vacuum and tilt it a little, taking a good look.]

This is a cleaning device, correct? [He doesn’t know the name of it, and has never had reason to ask.] I doubt it will do much harm. I have far more worrying things living in my own home.

[psychokinesia]

Cursed, possessed, enchanted—I don't care what you call it, I want it out of my damn apartment! Why is everyone acting like this is fucking normal?!

[The vacuum doesn't seem to mind Exarch's touch, though, and just continues to direct all of its aggression at Add. The worst. His broom is getting totally wrecked over here too, ugh!]

You take it then! It can be your damn problem!

[crystaltower]

I never claimed it was normal. I simply do not feel it quite warrants screaming as though faced with some starved, slavering beast.

[Curious, though. He does note that the vacuum is not at all bothered by him, but only to the young man before them. Is it some manner of soulkin, angered by some mistake? Hm...]

...strange, though. It is not concerned with me. Did you do something to anger it?

[psychokinesia]

At least a beast would stop if I fucking punched it! [does this mean Add has tried punching the vacuum? yes. yes he has.]

Who cares about what angered it, are you going to help me with this or not?!

[crystaltower]

I would like to establish the nature of the problem first, before I take action. Were I to simply take it away, it might come back, or else turn its wrath upon my robes... which may suffer more damage from it than you would, I believe.

[Actually, the situation is beginning to come across as more amusing to him than something serious and worrying, but he's politely trying to not laugh.]

I assume the switch does not work?

[psychokinesia]

[He is giving Exarch the most incredulous look right now, still struggling with his broom handle as the bristles get more and more destroyed.] Seriously? You think that isn't the first thing I would've tried?!

[also, fuck your robes, they're a sacrifice he's willing to make for the sake of getting rid of the haunted vacuum (not that anyone seems willing to listen to his orders...)]

Nothing mechanical could possibly make it behave this way, so it must be something— [spooky] something else responsible, like a parasite or some stupid remote magic controlling it, so once that's destroyed everything will be fine! I just have to figure out where it's being controlled from!

[crystaltower]

I suspect it is likely nothing complicated. This land has such little grasp on the details of reality that it seems quite possible that it could simply act this way on its own.

[He should just deal with it and let the boy calm down, really. He knows this. However, old and tired as he might be, there is still that tiny trace of a mischievous troll left...]

Though I doubt it is for no reason. Perhaps it wants something. Did you try feeding it?

[To his knowledge, machines here also need to eat!]

[psychokinesia]

What the hell would a vacuum even eat?! [the worst part is he knows that's a valid suggestion. thanks, he hates it.

and, well, he still remembers what the guy from last time said... which is that its angry because he doesn't use his vacuum enough. and also maybe because he tried to tie it up in a closet after that other guy left, expecting that to be enough to keep it contained (it wasn't).

but there's no way this can be his fault!!]

If it's trying to motivate me to clean more... this stupid vacuum should stop making it so difficult to even consider using it! I'm not touching that thing! So stop acting up already!! [he's shouting at the vacuum, but also into the room in general because yelling at a vacuum still seems really dumb to him]