tabularasa_rp | Faith and Memories (Wide Open)

I'll be sure to visit you.

(If, and only if she isn't secluding herself completely, he's fine with her taking precautions. Likewise, he couldn't be sure what would happen if Satanael was out the way Loki had been back in Mementos. Perhaps there are more things he needs to plan around.)

You told me strong will and meditation helps fight it off.

[She still wasn't traveling, wandering and socializing like some of the others, but she was making an effort to get out there. This was a long battle with her, but she was gradually starting to get out there. At the very least, she wasn't completely hiding. She knew better at this point.]

Oh... I know you will. You're stubborn like that. But you've got more and more of your friends showing up around here. I've noticed that.

...

It does seem to be helping, and Tifa's idea might work. We'll... see.

Haru is here now.

(And others might, too. Who knows at this point? He's not so happy about it, but also, he's thrilled about it. The bittersweet feeling seems to persist, even if this has happened three times already.)

You're doing well. (He tells Parsee with a pleased smile, almost proud. The Void returned her powers for a while, but it seems like she's dealing well with it.) We'll see.

The one with the floofy hair and the cute sweater?

[She fidgeted. Yeah, she'd met her. She was doing her usual struggling with being jealous but it was getting easier. Mostly because she was starting to turn this into something of a game. New person. What could she be jealous about. Ah. Everything normal again. Leave it at that...

It was working for the moment.]

She seems nice. And, I suppose I am. Getting as much encouragement as I am isn't hurting. I think you guys are rubbing off a little. Now we just have to make sure it sticks...

How are you with this, though? You know they'll go back eventually, but I know you don't like the idea of them showing up here.

(All he does is confirm her suspicion with a nod. Ren jumps off the chair to wash his hands, because of course, he is about to get two cups of coffee going for them.)

That's what we do best. (Comes out with a little snort as he automatically does his coffee making routine. At the question, Ren takes a moment to think on how to answer.) We don't know that.

(Some have left, but there's no indication that all of the Void residents would eventually return. Ren sighs as he pours the water.)

It's the same as always.

(Delighted to see them, furious they're at the mercy of the Void as he is.)

I'm... aware we don't know that for sure. At best, I'm going off of Legion's recollections of the other weird world he's been to, which may or may not apply to this world. I'm trying very hard not to dwell on that either...

[She settled herself down to let him get her coffee. She wasn't going to stop him from fussing over her. She knew better than to do that.]

You've... been testy lately, Ren. Are you alright?

What do you mean?

(There's a beat there where he doesn't know what to reply, but in order to actually give one, he needs to understand where's she coming from. Finally, two cups of coffee are done and Ren sips from behind the counter.

He's furious at the Void, but at the same time, there has been such a smile on his face now that Akechi has woken up. Now that they're okay.)

[In truth, she was going off of impressions from before when Akechi had woken up, so part of it was that she was dealing more with his rage against the void and the situation than with the better stuff in his life.]

I don't know how to put it. [Sip] I know I'm good at reading the room on relationships, but that's my job. Other stuff? I haven't been human for a while. It kind of goes over my head.

You just seem on edge lately. Stressed. Maybe it's this place. I know you're not coping as easily as some of us.

I'm not someone who sits and waits.

(Wait for what? For the next shoe to drop? For the Void to reveal its origins, or perhaps identity? He's just much more of a go-getter. He doesn't like the situation, albeit he would admit that there are certainly wonderful parts about being in the Void.

It's just being at the mercy of something that ticks him off.)

Oh... that explains just about everything right there. I really should have thought of that...

Man, you must hate this place. Because that's more or less everything we're doing, even when we're investigating. We're in one giant circling pattern of birds, like a bunch of buzzards waiting for dinner that never comes... which really is more a description of myself than you. You're a hawk. You want to be doing something. I'm just waiting.

[Yeah, she wasn't calling Ren a buzzard in this case... He got the noble bird.]

I don't hate the place.

(Again, the place is alright, it's the circumstances that he hates.)

I thought Mementos would be it.

Point. It's ... yeah, I saw a couple of your friends in there too. It's from your world, so you thought you were being returned, I'd bet. Because it's kind of a weird place compared to the bridge and bar, isn't it?

So you had to think you were close to back.

Nothing like it.

(He thought it was the same situation - God would be waiting at the lowest level.)

There was God if you went downstairs enough.

Good thing I wasn't angling to try and get into any final fights. I suck at that sort of thing. I'm more of the "mini boss" kind of trouble maker people have to push through.

Ngh. Still, I think you being frustrated makes more sense to me at least.

(Always with the videogame references, huh, Parsee? Ren laughs a quiet laugh.

Forgive him for staying quiet. He hasn't quite told anyone he has shot God in the face yet.)

[Blame Legion. She'd been introduced to the concept, and her world really did have a formulaic element. Taking a sip, she closed her eyes and sighed, nodding more to herself than anything.]

Well, alright. That makes sense at least. I have a feeling you'll always be a tiny bit frustrated here. It'll never entirely sit well with you.

I'm not too keen on letting things play me in whatever way they'd like.

(Memory swap and Mementos nightmare completely fall in this comment.)

Edited 2020-12-12 18:48 (UTC)

I should really be a little pissed off, you know. You're definitely not as good at bearing up to this as I am. [she grunted. It was fine, there were plenty of other thing to be jealous of with him.] But I can't say I'm surprised. It's that whole 'protagonist' thing about you. Why would the hero of the story be ok with that? For themselves or anyone?

[Why would anyone?!?]

I guess I'm just used to being at someone else's mercy.

You should never be okay with that.

(Freedom is the most important thing in the world to Ren - his ability to make choices and decisions based on what he feels to be right. If you're on someone else's mercy, you lose that.

Nobody should live that way.)

There's my little hero coming out again. [She snickered some.] Maybe I shouldn't, but I found a way to be empowered while I was trapped. Heh. There's power when you embrace what you are and embolden it.

Not a route I'd suggest to most, though. Makes you real bitter.

What do you mean, Parsee?

(Empowered while trapped?)

...

[She thought about it for a moment before she responded. So, what she was about to say was a bit of an indication of the fact that she trusted Ren. She wouldn't admit it to most people. Cole. Legion. Ren. Maybe Rinoa after what she'd put her through? And the fact that there were four people here like that was amazing. Back home? There were two. It wasn't something she admitted often because it led to some of the secret of her powers, and thus a vulnerability if her powers were active.]

So...you know how I'm always finding reasons someone is better off than me? And if I can't, I look for reasons that they handle it better? It's not just natural, Ren. It's an old habit, but there's a reason.

If I'm the small fish in a room, I'm actually much more powerful. When I have reason to be envious, that envy empowers me. I'm more dangerous. And, on another level? I feel more 'myself.' I feel sure of myself as long as I can embrace who and what I am. It's comfortable. I like being the underdog in everything. I embraced it a long time ago.

So, me? I'm ok if they're in control because I feel like I'm in control by being the little guy. And I turn it into power that I turn against them if they try anything.

I'm the youkai equivalent of a cockroach, Ren. [She grinned at him almost a little wickedly.] But the fun thing about roaches? We survive anything.

(Of course Ren listens, finding a way to sit comfortably to give her his full attention. In a way, it makes sense, it's a good thing to find a silver lining.

Ren just couldn't live like that, though.)

Does that mean you are not the small fish in the room?

(Would she be able to take more powerful ones than herself by increasing her jealousy alone?)

So... if I'm being brutally honest? I'm usually the under-estimated middle ground, and if I catch people the wrong way? I can take down people who are technically more powerful than I am.

[Grunt]

But it's about appearances. As long as I'm the underdog, I'm more dangerous, so... I play it up, and it's a habit that's hard to break even when I have minimal power and no threats. But yeah. I absolutely embrace being under their heel. It ... makes it easy to take them down if I have to.

Obviously, I don't actually SAY that.

Why are you telling me?

(Not that he's complaining, but giving someone the secret to her power sounds impractical... Why him?)

Faith and Memories (Wide Open)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)