Ann Takamaki ♥ Panther (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
menaretrash) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tabularasa_rp2020-12-02 10:30 am
menaretrash) wrote in tabularasa_rp2020-12-02 10:30 am
menaretrash) wrote in tabularasa_rp2020-12-02 10:30 am
no subject
She still has yet to look up at him even, instead continuing to stare unblinkingly at the wall in front of her. For some reason, he's still here. Huh. ]
...
[ His words do finally get her to blink, and she slowly turns her gaze up to him, staring tiredly up at the poor man. If only she knew what was going through that head of his right now. ]
Because what's the point in shoving my problems at you? No, I'm not okay. At all. But this is life, and now I need to adjust and move on.
[ Also, she's suddenly realizing something; there's one place she hasn't thoroughly, and that's Mementos. But it's a constantly shifting space, and without Carmen or Ren or some sort of Navigator, she's not sure how smart it is to go in there. One wrong turn, and she won't come back out. It's so easy to lose your way in there, and yet, now that the thought is there, it's not going to leave and she knows where she needs to go next. ]
Anyways, it doesn't matter. I'll be fine after a little while, and things will go back to normal.
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This would have been a bad time to point out the statistics on those who have attempted suicide before, wouldn't it?It was a good thing she was only thinking about this subject and not voicing it, though honestly Shiho was a sore spot for Seto as well. The way he had experienced the memories about that girl, would have made it impossible to have brought up the potential for another disaster.Yes, for whatever reason Seto Kaiba was still here looking down at his girlfriend in her frozen state. When Ann did finally look up at him, it was like he was looking at someone he barely recognized. What a change grief had pulled on her, her eyes no longer sparkling, and her expression so somber. He nearly took a retreating step back towards his apartment. Her words didn't help dissuade this potential action.
This is life.. I need to adjust and move on. He felt a sharp pang in his chest, as one of his 'pep talks' to Mokuba came flooding back to him. It just sounded so similar, and felt wrong. Somehow. Probably because he'd been told just how unhelpful that advice had been years later, courtesy of a shared experience in the virtual world with his brother.]
... Ann.
[At least he lost some of his frosty exterior, finally starting to realize how deeply this was affecting her. The longer he lingered here the harder it was not to see it.]
You will be. I'm certain of that- but... [He sighed] .. I'm not sure you should be alone right now.
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It sure would!!As much as she loves Shiho, she doesn't bring the girl up for a reason. Not to mention, there's no point here -- she can only hope that things are okay for her, and she's doing well, after all.She thinks she's holding up pretty well right now, at least. She hasn't started crying in front of him yet, which is a plus -- that's something she prides herself on, mostly. It takes a whole lot to make her break down in front of people, and besides, she's had a few days to do that now. When she'd first realized that she couldn't find either of the boys, she'd had some sort of strange, frustrated break down. No amount of crying or cursing or violence against monsters had helped, it had only made it worse, and that had escalated into a full out panic before finally... the numbness that she feels right now had set in.
She hasn't felt this shitty in a long, long time. And she's worried; if she knew where they were, and knew that they were safe, this would be... it would still be sad, but not like this.
It probably is a good thing that Seto has quite literally stumbled upon her right now, because she's got a whole lot of thoughts racing through her brain right now, and most of them are stupid and fueled by her manic, upset feelings. ]
Mm?
[ He still hasn't left, and she's not really sure why. She's fully expecting him to take off at any moment, and she wouldn't even be mad if he did. This is a lot, and he's not her babysitter. He has absolutely no obligation to stay here right now, but he is. And she feels dumb, because she probably looks dumb, and she knows that she's shoving these stupid negative vibes at him and she hates that. ]
...I don't really... want to bring you down, too, you know?
[ More than she probably already has, at least. Seto is being surprisingly patient with her, and she's very appreciative of that gesture. Even though Ren and Akechi are gone, she's got other people she needs to be more mindful of right now, too, and Seto is one of them. The sooner she gets back to normal, the better... she's so afraid he's going to be disappointed in her, or frown upon this weird, emotional mess she's turned into temporarily. ]
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Don't spread this around, but he hopes Shiho is getting the care and attention she needs too.][It was debatable whether crying, or this catatonic state would have been worse. Sure, the tears would have been more jarring initially but the longer this collapse continued the further his uneasiness was growing. It might have helped for her to have gotten this all out of her system somehow, but what did he know? Seto was an emotional wreck 90% of the time just from shoving everything under the rug for years. You can bet he would never allow himself to cry]
[If he would have only thought about this as a scenario he would better understand. If it had been Mokuba who spontaneously disappeared there wouldn't have been a force in this environment that didn't know about it. He would have searched the void from top to never-ending blank expanse!]
...
[Even the ways she answered him lacked any force, as if just speaking took considerable effort. He relaxed his fist, letting his fingers extend and flexing them a few times.]
Too late. [The reply came too swiftly and he instantly regretted it. It could be taken the wrong way and she didn't need anything else to feel guilty about] I- mean.. [Inclining his head a bit to make it easier to make some sort of eye contact] .. I don't............ like seeing you this way [Rushing out the end of it in soft tones. It still should have been audible enough with how close they were situated] I'm.. not really the best sort of person to field this.. kind of thing but from what little I know of them they seem too stubborn to just fade away into nothingness. [Ugh, this sucks. Where's Yugi. Let him and the cheer squad tag in]
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Don't worry, Seto. Your secret is safe!Honestly, considering everything that Seto already knows about her, it's probably stupid to try and keep every last thing to herself. He's already seen her at her lowest -- part of it, at least, whether he wanted to or not, and this can't possibly be any worse than that. She doesn't want to be a burden, though; as much as she wants to solve other's problems and be a shoulder to cry on for them, it's hard when it comes to herself. And that is something she thinks he probably can relate to, although... she doesn't think he often needs a shoulder to cry on nor does he need to provide such a service.
She doesn't really want him to think that she's weak for being like this though, either -- it's a frightening thought to her, because she's concerned that if she does end up accidentally crying or spilling too much, he's going to want to dump her for not being as strong as she should be. And really, she doesn't think she can handle another huge blow like that, not right now. Ah, but even worse, he's just confirmed that yes, she's already brought him down, and she winces, rushing to apologize. ]
Sorry--
[His next words, soft and rushed as they may be, are not lost to her. Her eyes widen slightly, and whatever concerns about him laughing in her face or dumping her for something stupid are pushed aside. Those words are what finally get her to snap out of it, at least a little bit, enough to allow her to realize that she's being stupid by trying to lie to him when he can clearly see through her and he's... he's actually worried.
He says he's not the best at this sort of thing, but she thinks he is. And he's even still trying to boost the morale here with this continued pep talk. It's so sweet that she can't bring herself to tell him that fading away is something they've all already collectively done once, not when he's being so sweet.
For some reason, this is what starts the waterworks. She stares up at him with big, watery blue eyes, before she pushes herself up to her feet finally and wraps her arms around him, burying her face into his shoulder. ]
Thank you.
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Surprisingly,
he doesn't think of her as weak, not even for this. If it had been anyone else, then sure. When had he placed in that double standard to cover Ann? It was similar to the leniency he granted his brother.]…
[Look, he's new to this. He's only had to comfort one other person before and that mostly entailed just being there, as the tears got out of the other's system. Kaiba was very unsure about whether he had said the right thing for the moment or two, and her expression isn't initially enlightening on that point. In fact, as the tears start emerging from the corners of her eyes, he thinks that maybe he's been too harsh, again, by stating the plain and straightforward observation of the missing persons characteristics.
One more glance down the hall for some sort of escape route, or assistance that could bail him out... but before he can look back to Ann she's pressing herself into his shoulder and .. touching him. Like a deer caught in the headlights, he stares flabbergasted down at her vulnerable form. Ok- so reassessing this, he assumes this to be a step in the right direction, she's no longer trying to conceal her emotions, but she's moistening his jacket....
Somewhat delayed and awkwardly, he reaches up.. to place a comforting pat to the top of her head.
Eh- she's not a small child..... so his free arm ghosts over her back as he debates closing it in]no subject
favoritemost trusted people in the Void. If she absolutely has to get caught being in such an embarrassing state, she's glad it's at least in front of him and not anyone else, despite her earlier attempts at keeping herself collected and quiet.This must be very awkward for him, she realizes after a few moments. He didn't sign up for this, and yet, he hasn't left her to her own devices just yet, either. Which she's very grateful for, because her mind is going a million miles a minute right now even if she's not verbally blurting all of her thoughts out right now. It's not just thoughts of Ren and Akechi being gone, either -- something else is suddenly hitting her. ]
What if we all disappear to wherever and we never see each other again? [ Her voice is small and slightly muffled, but the panicked question is blurted out before she can even stop herself as poor Seto debates inwardly on the best way to go about all of... this. ]
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In a way, he had sort of signed up for this. That was the point. It was slowly starting to sink in that a relationship was one of the few avenues a person couldn't strictly control it and call all the shots. He'd just managed to commit to the hugging gesture, when she dropped that most difficult of questions. Normally, he'd answer matter-of-factly considering the serious possibilities but how could he now do that? She didn't want to hear the cold hard facts that this place could be it for.. all of this. It literally could be gone in an instant with no way to retrieve it. That's how life is.
........................ so.. he shared her panic, and the silence stretched out at length, awkwardly. Looking down at her form he couldn't help thinking how small she looked right now, and vulnerable. Somehow that gave him all the encouragement he needed to make a bold claim.]
As if I'm that easy to get rid of. If Seto Kaiba wants to find someone he ultimately does- this place would have no control over that once we were outside of it's influence. [Would he want to go tracking her down? He debated in his mind. Things were still so new but... he also felt like he didn't want to lose anything else that was important to him. Ann included]
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She hasn't felt this upset or lost since the day she'd said goodbye to Shiho for the last time, in person at least. That sense of loss has hit her like a train, amplified by about ten million, and unfortunately, poor Seto is here having to endure everything that's coming from that. She's looked everywhere, and now she's going to have to take it upon herself to call a little meeting with the girls to talk some things about about Ren's and Akechi's departure and she's not looking forward to that either. But without Ren, their group has no 'leader', and if they're going in order, that makes her the temporary 'next in line', so she'll have to suck it up and step it up.
Unconsciously, she tightens her grip on Seto as the silence stretches on, only because as the quietness lingers it allows her mind to wander further. This place, in the big scheme of things, is only temporary -- and the people who disappear and don't return are a good proof of that. She hadn't really put much thought into it until two people she knew well were suddenly gone, and that's sent her mind reeling into so many different places and possibilities, that the thought of never seeing Seto, or a few other people again, is really hitting home hard right now. So when he speaks and breaks the silence, she almost jumps a little bit, but she remains quiet herself for a little while longer as she listens to him.
It's only after he finishes that sentence that she finally lifts her head and peeks up at him with big, watery blue eyes. ] But what if you forgot? Or what if we're all actually dead and this place isn't real at all?