(open) your heart is so beautiful, it's almost nauseating

[kimihiros]

Who: kimihiro watanuki & friends
What: january adventures
Where: adventurous places
When: jan 2021, we made it guys
Content Warnings: anxiety, alcohol, sad hours


♪

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[kimihiros]

(yuuko would be livid, actually. all she wanted was for kimihiro to exist, to have a life, and instead, he traded his for her. not that it has occurred to him in all this time - he truly believes he is fulfilling her wish, granting it.)

It's all I can hope for, too. (he gives a smile, appreciative of the girl in front of him before he sucks in smoke and waves a hand.) Enough of this, though. Is there a wish you'd like me to grant if I am ever able to?

[bazooker]

[Haru would love to say if he was in love with Yuuko but alas, she does not have enough guts to say it. Instead, she just smiled softly at him before picking up on what he said.]

A wish I want? [That was a good question. She wanted Lucy back but that was impossible and she couldn't dare ask. There was also how she wished to return home but it was equally impossible.

Even if it might be a serious wish, she still wanted to take it as such. Looking at the ground, she really didn't know what she wanted. However...]

I wish for my friends to be happy here. Does that count as a wish?

[kimihiros]

You don't need me for that one, Haru-chan.

(there's a small laugh, because of course, she wouldn't pick something for herself. she seemed selfless, and his expectation was on check.)

You can grant it yourself, by taking care of the ones you love.

[bazooker]

I know but it seems like I could always do more?

[She said before giving him a small smile.]

They were all so kind to let me into their group when I was down. After everything we went through, I can't ever thank them enough.

[kimihiros]

People tend to think that, but if we stop to analyze it, it might fall apart. Everything in the universe is give-and-take, Haru-chan. Perhaps you don't have to thank them, you already pay them back in different ways that are enough.

(he smiles. it's the first time he feels like the store owner he once was, helping people. she might not even realize that she has paid him already - listening and with the company.)

When there's an imbalance, someone always gets hurt. It doesn't seem to be the case, so you mustn't worry. (with reassurance, he returns to the table to pour some more tea for himself, as well as her if she so allows.) That's the reason why I wouldn't be particularly inclined to grant your wish - it would be pricey. It's much easier for all involved if you find the determination within yourself.

[bazooker]

[Haru found herself dumbstruck on what to say back. It didn’t seem too different from what a certain therapist back home would say but Kimihiro didn’t seem to have any intent on doing harm. Or rather, he didn’t have the power to grant any wishes just yet.

Even so, it seemed he wouldn’t be able to grant anything if the price wasn’t paid back.

For a moment, she really had to think about what to say next. What she said could impact what was to come later]

Yes, you’re right, it would be easier to just find a way to help my friends here. It’s just difficult as I am not used to having friends. It is quite the challenge as I am still learning what they like and how I wish to make them happy. [After all, growing up in a wealthy society doesn’t leave room for much genuine interaction between people]

[kimihiros]

(... haru-chan sure looks lonely, doesn't she? kimihiro watches her find the words to reply to him, and she eventually does - allowing his own question to be answered.)

They know this, don't they? Your friends. (he gets it. kimihiro himself has very few, and the ones that he once had happen to have passed. now, all he really has is doumeki's great-grandson and the spirits that come visit him.) Also, Haru-chan. Please remember that their happiness isn't your responsibility. You can help, but they have to find it themselves as well.

[bazooker]

Yes they do but I'm sure they would say the same thing. [She said before giggling. They were quite the merry band of friends, weren't they? They were still willing to help her out even though she just joined so recently...]

I know but it's just difficult as friendship isn't what I'm used to. Or any relationship where I'm not afraid of them.

[kimihiros]

Would you like to tell me?

(something about her tone indicates "yes", but he isn't about to throw a thousand questions that could make her uncomfortable if she's not willing to open up. the pipe is taken to his lips, inhale, exhale.)

[bazooker]

[Haru didn’t say anything at first. Her lips turned into a frown before giving a small sigh.]

If you do not mind. I apologize, I do not wish to burden you with my problems when you have many of your own as well.

[kimihiros]

You're not burdening me. Please, go ahead.

(they're all in this together, after all. if it helps her even a tiny bit, he doesn't mind hearing about it all afternoon long.)

[bazooker]

[That was when Haru took in a deep breath before looking back at him]

Let's just say when you're the heiress to a wealthy company, it's not easy to make friends. In fact, it can be difficult not knowing whom you can trust.

[Pause] It makes me a little nervous about which people are truly my friends.

[kimihiros]

(ah, the life of the rich. kimihiro does not envy them at all. in fact, he can't even remember the last time he traded money for anything.)

Does that anxiety extend to those you were telling me about just now?

[bazooker]

[That made Haru think for a moment. Should she tell the truth and admit it? However, she didn’t want to lie either.

She turned away before looking back at him shyly]

A little. While we all have been through a lot together, a part of me will worry if I am ever doing enough. [Pause] I think a better way to say it is I’m just not use to having friends!

[kimihiros]

Give yourself time, Haru-chan.

(the greatest healer of all, isn't it? kimihiro sucks in smoke, thinking for a second.)

If you weren't doing enough, it would show. Be patient with yourself in this period of adaptation, mhm?

[bazooker]

I suppose I should!

[She said before taking a sip from her tea. How relaxing, it was nice to be able to tell someone what she had been holding up inside for all this time...]

I know I have plenty of time here to spend it with my friends and everyone. I'm afraid having all this time isn't what I'm use to either! [Being the heiress to a company and spending her time trying to manage everything] It's quite the challenge to find time to relax!

[kimihiros]

Perhaps this is your chance to reinvent yourself if you so wish, Haru-chan. We have nothing but time, here.

(he puts the pipe down on its tray, he's ok for the moment, but he notices that haru could use a refill of her tea. he provides, gracefully.)

What kind of person do you wish to become?

[bazooker]

Oh, thank you! You didn't need to do that!

[She said as she saw him refill her cup. As for his question, that was a lot more difficult to respond to.]

As for a person I wish to become...[She trailed off] I'm not sure but I do want to become more confident. I want people to hear my words and take me seriously.

[kimihiros]

Yet another thing you aren't used to, mhm?

(kimihiro gestures towards the kitchen.)

Would you like to help me with dinner while you tell me about it?

[bazooker]

Wait, are you considering me to stay for this long?

[She said with wide eyes] I certainly wouldn't mind but you are much too kind, Kimihiro-san!

[kimihiros]

Everything is a trade, Haru-chan. You are helping me with dinner, after all.

(he says as he takes out some pots and pans, some bowls, chopsticks - what was it that he took from the market? perhaps he could try his hand at hot pot, since he couldn't find noodles this time.)

[bazooker]

[As Haru looked at him taking a few items out of the cabinets, she approached him as to say if he wanted some help.]

I know but it still seems like I could do more? [Suddenly, that's when she thought of something!] How about I make you dinner? I'm not a very good cook but I can try to make you something!

[kimihiros]

... (for a second, kimihiro is dumbfounded and it shows with how he is reactionless for a second or two. back at home, kimihiro had to scream and nag his way for having help at the kitchen.

he's the one not used to something right now. eventually, his expression becomes neutral again.)

... Sure. I... Can't taste things, though, so do it for your own taste, ok?

[bazooker]

Wait, you can't? Is there any reason why you can't?

[That's when Haru had to worry. Walking closer to him, she leaned down so she could see his face from up above. If he was going to be her friend, she just had to make sure he was okay.]

[kimihiros]

It's been locked away with some of my memories. They rest in the earring of a dimensional travelling creature, it's nothing to worry about.

(embarrassment comes with his words, quickly waving a hand so that she doesn't worry too much.)

I can only taste food that isn't of our realm.