tabularasa_rp | Let me Crawl Inside Your Veins (Wide Open)

"... No, I won't let it go that far," she said, coughing raggedly into her hand. "I won't let myself become a monster of that sort just to avoid talking to her. She'd never forgive that." Not to mention a few others would be really pissed at her. She could do this. Eventually. Probably. Hopefully.

"If it's like that... then it's not that you have to deal with," she grunted, sour in her voice, trying to stay calm. "We ... We just have to figure out what's going on before you end up a zombie. Figure out what you have to do."

"Acknowledged. We have already experienced having a friend succumb to this: we do not wish to repeat the experience." Legion would forgive her, but also they'd probably sink further into depression and does she really want to contribute to that?

"Perhaps. Regardless, we will not allow ourselves to become a zombie."

The good news was that she did at least address the issue before it came that far. It got close, but it didn't get to the point of zombification and the damage wasn't permanent. That possibility would have been worse than emotional rejection by a mile. She wouldn't have been able to handle becoming that because of this. "Agreed," she muttered past a little cough.

"Good. I'd really rather not find out what a Geth zombie is like."

"Though we would lack intelligence and complex abilities, it is likely we could still be extremely dangerous."

Legion would rather die than become that.

They should probably actually try confessing something though. If they want to prevent it.

"Yeaaah, the little I know about anything like a zombie? Definitely not something we need for any of us to turn into. So, good plan." She frowned, though, noticing that Legion wasn't doing any of that confessing thing by now. Maybe...

"Do you have anything you need to say to me? Or is there someone else you need to talk to?"

"Those we would talk to are not here. However..."

Their headflaps shift, and ripple.

"Earlier you spoke of reasons you believed your friend was unlikely to return your romantic affections. We do not feel romantic love, however, we have cared and still care for many who would be considered ... worse."

"She's... also kind of in love with someone else, Legion. He's not here, but she has someone back home. They aren't married, but they've been dating and I know how important he is. It's just... she's too free with her heart." That was really what the problem was, wasn't it? Rinoa could love just about anyone, but Parsee wanted her to be in love with her.

Well, they were going to tell her about who they still care for but they're distracted by her words.

...That does change things.

"Even if it is unlikely that she will return your feelings, you will still have friends who care for you." Including Legion.

"I... I know. And, I know it's hard for me to acknowledge that quite the way most people do, but it means a lot that I have you, that I have friends." She swallowed a little and closed her eyes. "I also know that I don't think I would have developed feelings for her if I could have just chosen who, but you fall for who you fall for. I don't like that I'm asking her to choose me over him. I don't want to be the other woman, even if they're not married."

"Acknowledged. Love is not a choice." It is simultaneously a revelation and something they've always known-they've never put it into words.

They still care about the people who hurt them.

"It really isn't, is it?" It was something that choices could impact, but those feelings tended to have a life of their own. Something she'd learned long ago. She just didn't like admitting.

Because, admit it or not, part of her still loved her husband for a very long time after he died.

"We love those who destroyed us." By which they mostly mean the Quarians. But now that they're thinking about it, it's not just them, is it?

They had Shepard-Commander at their mercy, dangling over that cliff. They could have dropped her to her death, dealt with Creator Tali'Zorah, finished the upload.

And yet ... they did not.

"I... am not surprised to hear you say that." She didn't know it, but the moment that Legion said it, he believed it. Not because Legion was so great at sounding sincere, but because in the Geth's simplified way of sometimes handling interactions? she legitimately believed it meant that. "I think that is probably part of why it pisses me off that they did it. You didn't want to hurt them. You just wanted space and go on being."

(OOC: And oh god that's why I could never ever do that to the Geth in the game if I didn't immediately just ship Legion off to Cereberus without turning it on. It just always felt so cruel.)

Edited 2021-03-28 17:12 (UTC)

(And she just accepts it. No shock, no questioning, no anger or disbelief or questioning if a machine is even capable of love.

She actually understands them, as much as an organic can, and Legion feels a sudden surge of appreciation for that.)

We also love you, and other allies.

[Parsee had never existed in a time where there were prejudices about what Robots were capable of doing. To her, Legion was just a person made of polymers and a small amount of metal. The idea of that really wasn't that weird for her. In essence, she was from so far back in ancient history that she couldn't relate to the particulars of computation to realize that there would even be an issue.

Weird how a person so far different in advance was more capable of understanding a robot as a person than someone who actually understood wat basic robots were.]

I... I know you do, and I appreciate and love you right back. Not the way I feel about Rinoa, but I do. There's different sorts of love.

(True, but she also never questions why they'd care about people who destroyed them, or gets angry when they say they love the people that they drove from their homes. It's nice, even if she has more perspective with which to understand and less reason to question it than many others.)

We are aware.

(The lights on their face flash red, and they make an awkward sound, and pull in on themselves a little. A cringe?

Look, they might love the Quarians, but if say, Tali, or another creator, started trying to flirt with them, they would run for the hills.

They'd be less quick to flee, but they're really not interested in Parsee in that way, either.)

[She giggled a little when she saw that reaction. It was the way in which the body posture worked that told her more than anything else and any fancy tricks how Legion was reacting.]

You really don't quite know how to handle how organics flirt do you?

[Because she absolutely couldn't see any other kind of love bothering Legion.]

It is outside of our design specifications.

(They weren't built for it. They have little desire to flirt with anyone.)

You know, I do actually envy that a little.

[Which was less her usual 'I'm jealous' thing. There was an element of it that was just basically easy to envy because it was really convenient to not have to worry about that sort of thing.]

Relationships and romance can be so complicated at times that... you're missing out, but you're also really not missing out. Some experiences aren't worth having.

And yet you pursue them.

(Romantic love for someone is why she's in this situation after all. Who she loves is not a choice, and the choice of whether to act on it has been taken from her, but it's also clear that she very much wants her feelings to be requited-to have a relationship with this other.)

She's...

[How did Parsee say this? How did she even consider this, speak about this? She considered it for a long moment and swallowed, trying to put it into words. "She's different?" No, Rinoa wasn't actually different. She was just a girl. A very intriguing girl that had gotten the youkai's attention, but their halting consideration of romance wasn't all that new or different from anyone else...]

She's special to me. That's all.

Acknowledged.

(It is, apparently, entirely subjective. Parsee wishes to avoid romance until she develops romantic feelings for another. They have seen similar reactions to more platonic forms of attachment, though often people continue to deny the shift in feelings.

It is ...refreshing that she does not.)

Perhaps at some point, we will meet her.

(She mentioned Rinoa earlier. They do not know if she realized she let her name slip, but though it is a name they recognize, she is not a person they have had considerable interaction with.)

[Entirely, 100% subjective. There was no real actual logic behind it so much as emotion and passion that had come out of unexpected connection. If one tried to get her to explain what about Rinoa was special, she'd give traits that a hundred people had, a thousand, tens of thousands even. Rinoa was a pretty, intelligent and kind girl, but there were a lot of them. She just happened to be the one she fell for.]

I... would like it if you got the chance. I actually would. She'd find you really interesting.

(That's just how things go sometimes.

Legion might find reasons to claim that every person they loved was special, but those reasons would likely have more to do with actions and accomplishments than innate qualities.

...Also Legion isn't always perfectly logical and just thinks of the people they love as special and precious.)

She is skilled at dancing?

(They believe they have seen that name before, on the ranking list for the shower games.)

Let me Crawl Inside Your Veins (Wide Open)

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