tabularasa_rp | [open] a comfort of frailties in me

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[open] a comfort of frailties in me

Who: Rinoa Heartilly + you?
What: catch-all for August!
Where: different places around the Void
When: during August, or the equivalent thereof
Content Warnings: n/a! will update if anything comes up

I ☆ Merlaut Apartments

[ Having spent as much time out near Mortis Lake as she has, it's no surprise that Rinoa is quick to recognize the different silhouette of the cliffs when it appears, the apartment building standing tall against the sky with its many, gleaming windows reflecting the light. At first, she thinks it's probably a hotel, but closer inspection leaves her sighing in relief. Without the fees that a hotel would incur, she can probably set up some kind of home base here. It's not like she needs somewhere to sleep, exactly - that need seems to have disappeared along with all her loved ones when she came to this place. But having somewhere she can at least rest between explorations or whatever else she's doing here? It's good.

It seems she's not the only one with that idea, either. She sees many of the others, friends and strangers alike, flitting through hallways and between rooms.

Rinoa chooses a room on the third floor and opens the door to the worst mess she's ever seen in her life. (And she's been in Seifer's dorm room.) It's with a sigh, and then a smile, that she gathers the creature at her feet into her arms, laughing when it delivers a gentle headbutt to her nose. ]

This is gonna take lots of work, Felix. Are you up for it?

[ Of course, the four-legged, feathered creature isn't likely to be a whole lot of help, but it's nice to feel like she has a partner again. ]

II ☆ Wall Market

[ Even plunged into darkness, this place feels like the seedy side of Deling City, and Rinoa doesn't think she's particularly fond of it. Weirder still, it's tucked into a cave in the depths of the mountain, a cave that she's pretty sure she wasn't there when she first came through the place. It's strange, how this world just seems happy to rearrange itself at a whim, dropping in new places and creatures for them to find. And really, this new place seems like there could be a lot of different things to it. It's just that most of the buildings are empty and those that aren't are hard to maneuver through when the dark of the cave presses in.

She's been in here for a little while now but it seems her eyes can't adjust any further, and she's still not able to see clearly enough to make out the finer details. What she wouldn't do to be able to cast Fire...

Something catches her eye, and Rinoa turns to see... a Moomba? No, not a Moomba. But something very similar. It has a Moomba's overall build, its large paws, and it stands on two legs as it watches her. But the end of its tail looks more like a brush than a flame, even appearing to have paint at its tip.

If there's anyone around, she'll look at them now with a small frown. ]

They're kind of like something from my home.

III ☆ Wildcard

[ This is basically Rinoa's catch-all post for August! She was a little quiet her first couple of weeks here on account of me being busy, although in-character she probably spent at least some of her time waiting around and hoping Squall showed up. Two weeks in, she's realizing that she's gonna need to relearn some of her independence from her friends and loved ones, and just have faith that he'll come to find her when he can.

She'll be spending the month trying to make her new little apartment look nice and otherwise exploring the island with Felix, so feel free to hit her with anything at all, prompt-wise! You can reach me via PM here, or at denouements if you wanna hash it out first, or you can just throw it at me! ]

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[ oh. leo was just about to approach rinoa, curious both about 1) how she was doing and 2) the strange focus she had on that new, novel, paint-y creature, but it sure looks like he's noticed first.

and she's gone and answered one of his unasked questions too, like a champ. he tilts his head curiously with her words, looking at the... paint-moomba-smeargle thing some more.

kind of like something from her world, she said, so it's not fully something she knows about... still, even a part of it is better than knowing nothing, so: ]

Really? I like 'em, they're real creative looking! What're they called?

They're called Moombas. But...

[ She pauses, taking in the creature's traits again before she turns back to Leo with a smile. ]

Their faces are different, and their tails too. The ones at home don't have that... paint-stuff. They're friendly, though. Some of them helped my friends when my... my father—

[ —even in explanation to a guy who is still essentially a total stranger, she has trouble saying the word, her nose wrinkling in visible distaste as it sits on her tongue— ]

—had us thrown in prison.

[ But moving on from that! ]

I wonder if these ones are friendly too... Unless whatever they're mixed with is, you know... not friendly?

[ why does everything go from 0 to 100 so quickly with rinoa. she moves on from the statement... leo doesn't. sure, she's said some other things regarding the moombas, and sure, he was initially interested in those (and he still is, so he does pay attention to those other tiny facts... on the side) but ]

Mmm, maybe? They seem pretty soft still--

[ the other thing. he's gotta talk about the other thing. the other big... no, gargantuan thing! ]

Ah, no, we'll figure it out later! I'm gonna push Roombas [ moombas, ] aside really fast for that other thing you said! Did I hear that right? What kinda life do you lead that you can just drop that tidbit in and move right on like it's a tiny pebble?

[ he is Concerned for you, rinoa, truly ]

[ Roombas. The name almost makes her laugh, but Leo's attention is on the other thing Rinoa just said, and her nose wrinkles. It would do her good to remember that the majority of the people here are not like the unflappable SeeDs with whom she spends most of her time... ]

It happened a while ago, that's all! [ She doesn't want to explain the whole story, though. Explaining the whole story would only lead to more questions, some of which she doesn't dare try to answer. But she can still tell the truth, right? ]

That man, he's the general of a dictatorship's military. I'm... I was part of a group that opposes that dictatorship.

[ She offers Leo a smile, something tat's meant to be amused but no doubt comes off infinitely more strained. ]

That probably explains everything, right?

Edited 2020-08-19 02:16 (UTC)

Not really!

[ that whole dynamic seems like way too much to summarize into the simple phrase provided, and he'd be lying if he said otherwise. if leo is anything, it's horribly honest.

but! but he also gets the implications behind her vagueness and that smile. he may be a little dense sometimes, but he's observant enough regarding those things. leo's not going to bulldoze over rinoa for the sake of his own curiosity, when these aren't his things to know.

even if it's a bit sad to hear, regardless... ]

It explains... enough! I don't need to know everything. [ enough. he adds that lightly -- his own way of alerting her that, truly, he had no interest in pushing. ] Sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to drag up things I shouldn't! You just don't hear that kinda stuff everyday, so it caught me off-guard.

[ so she can absolutely ollie out of this convo and back to roombas if it suits her fancy. ]

[ Rinoa can't help but to laugh at that, shaking her head at Leo. She understands him all too well - if she was on his side of the conversation, she'd no doubt feel the same way that he does now: curious, wanting to know more even as he says he's okay with not. So, no. There's no need for her to escape the conversation, and she's not offended, even with his worry that he's pushed her somehow. ]

You don't have to apologize. [ Her laugh subsides, but the smile stays there, and she reaches out to pat his forearm, a touch that's gentle and affectionate, a reassurance. ] I get it! It's just... a really long story.

[ Not like they've got anything but time in this place, but still... ]

And kind of big, too. Doesn't seem right to weigh you down with it too, you know? Not when there's happier things we could talk about!

[ leo: i've only had rinoa for one day but if anything happened to her i'd kill everyone in this room--

--except, not really, but it's funny that he's the one being reassured when she's speaking about her evil dad... it's true that there are happier things they could talk about, but when a bombshell like that gets dropped it's a bit hard to walk away from it...

he smiles, small and thoughtful, in return for hers. ]

Well, yeah. It's true people's stories are pretty heavy, especially one that sounds like that... I'd never ask for any details without knowingly accepting that weight. [ even if she's okay with it, however, he still believes it's not up to him. ] ... What about you? Will it help? Do you wanna talk about it? I'll shut up, sit still and listen if you do!

[ so even still, it's up to her. it's not for him to choose what he wants to listen to, not when he's the one asking. ]

[ For a moment, Rinoa can't do much but stare at him, a hint of pink spreading over her cheeks. She's never been one to really shy away from her feelings - that's more Squall's style than hers - and yet since she became a Sorceress, hasn't that been exactly what she's done? Especially here, where she finds herself knowing no one, in a situation where she feels unsafe all the time... she's been more closed off than ever.

If Squall were here, it would be easy. After the change, he was the person she relied on, the person to whom she admitted every thought, every worry, even when fear kept her from confessing them to others.

But he's not here, and she's never felt more paralyzed in her life. It's just like before, isn't it? If she wants to be able to be helpful to those around her, she has to stop being afraid.

She takes a deep breath, considers Leo quietly for a moment. ]

You know, that's probably the least heavy part of the story. [ Her smile hints at apologetic. If he's serious about hearing it, he has to know what he's in for, right? ] If you want me to tell you... maybe we should find somewhere to sit?

[ the least heavy part of the story, huh. leo's sure, certain, that what she has to tell him is probably beyond what he has the ability to properly handle? he's clumsy enough finding things to say to the more regular struggles... not that misery is a competition, but knowing what to say is a matter of experience. or a matter of being good at finding words in general. both something of a toss up in his case.

not that he can... not try. the least he can do is listen, even if he dislikes to hear sad things. it looks like she kind of needs it. ]

Hey, I said it already! It's your choice. I'll choose... where we sit, what to eat? If it's a heavy conversation, we shouldn't go with something heavy to match, so no BBQ... Sushi, maybe? [ nodding to himself. ] Mhmm, yeah! Here, let's go find a stand with sushi!

[ so that's an indirect that's okay from him. she's already been touchy, so now it's his turn. with only that little prompt from him to signal his acceptance of her burdens, he'll grasp her hand to get rinoa to move with him through the stands. it's dark, so he'd hate to lose her as he looks this way and that for both chairs and sushi--

--goodbye, mister roomba. ]

[ Later, Rinoa will take the time to appreciate that she and Leo are rather similar. The ease with which he grabs her hand to lead her through the darkened market in search of sushi - it's something very similar to what she would do herself, and something about it makes her feel comfortable. She smiles, letting him lead her along, and before long they find a sushi stand at which to sit.

It's been a while since she's had sushi, actually, and Rinoa takes a small plate for herself, handing one to him too before she tries to decide what she wants to eat. As she does, she says: ]

I guess the first thing you have to know is that... where I'm from, magic is a real thing that people can use, okay? [ She knows from prior conversations that she has to explain this if they're going to get anywhere; not all of their homes are like hers, and she doesn't want to confuse him. ] For most people, they use a special kind called "para-magic", which is like... I guess it's like science? A doctor made it, but it's not real magic.

[ She takes a deep breath, putting a couple of pieces of sushi onto the plate. ]

Only Sorceresses can use real magic. I guess it's fair to say that no one knows where Sorceresses came from exactly. It's kind of... accepted that they came from the first Sorceress, Hyne... [ —who was actually a man, don't ask— ] ...but past that? No one really knows. Anyway, there have been good Sorceresses in history, and evil. A lot of people are afraid of them because of their power, you know?

[ okay, leo's all settled now... he doesn't put much thought into the food in front of him, taking a few random pieces here and there. the food was more just another way to ease rinoa into something like a sense of comfort -- it was better than sitting around doing nothing with their hands while she recounts her troubles.

selfishly, it's a way for him to process it too. he's not certain how he'll handle what she has to tell him. his brain always seemed to run through things better with something keeping his hands busy, but, um... composing in the middle of this conversation seemed inappropriate. definitely.

so, this is what he does as she speaks: listens carefully, and alternates between fiddling with the sushi on his plate and giving her some careful glances. when she finishes her explanation, he offers her a small tilt of the head. ]

Yeah, I get it so far. Or, mmm... I don't get it 'cause being scared of something because it's stronger or 'cause you don't understand it doesn't make sense to me, but I mean that I get what you're saying!

[ ... she hasn't gotten to her part in all of this yet, but judging from the fact she's even explaining sorceresses at all, he can kind of already guess where rinoa falls here? he'll leave that to her to say, though.

that's just his way of implying that he's not afraid, if that's what she ends up being. ]

Looks like even magic doesn't make things easier, huh...

[ Rinoa's mood is instantly bolstered just a little by Leo's opinion on the matter. Just a little, because theory and practice are two entirely different things, and if he could see what many of the Sorceresses through history ended up becoming, well... he might change his mind. Still, it's a good enough start. ]

About 15 years ago, a Sorceress named Edea had— [ visitors from the future? the story's already confusing enough as it is, right? ] —I guess she kind of found out that one of the kids who lived in her orphanage was gonna kill an evil Sorceress in the future. So she started these schools called Gardens, where she and her husband trained young people as mercenaries, with a... a secret goal, I guess, that this kid would be powerful enough when the time came to stop the Sorceress.

[ A hand absent-mindedly closes around the twin rings hung from the chain at Rinoa's neck, the other pushing a piece of sushi across her small plate. ]

I guess the timing was kind of lucky, because right around the time he graduated from his training, Edea was possessed by the evil Sorceress. She allied herself with the president of Galbadia. [ Her face scrunches up into an expression of distaste. ] Galbadia's a dictatorship. You know, one of those countries that tries to invade everyone else?

[ mmm, that's a lot. leo's often the type to get lost in the details, but this is important. he can clumsily pull himself together when it counts. edea was a good sorceress, who made schools to kill a bad sorceress, and then got possessed by a bad sorceress? that's... jeez.

dictatorships are about the easiest thing to grasp in that story of hers, so... leo nods. ]

Mm. [ those're in lots of worlds, apparently. yikes. ] You said your dad's a member of one of those, right? Then, is that the one your old man's the military general of? The one you're fighting? Ah, wait, don't answer that if it's gonna mess up how you're explaining things...

[ To the contrary, Leo's just given her the perfect way to get to the next part of the story, when just a moment ago she wasn't entirely sure. After all, it's one thing to give him all the background information so he's not confused later, and another thing to find a bridge to her own part in the tale. So in response to his question, she nods, a wry smile on her lips. ]

Yeah, the very same. At the time, I didn't know anything about Sorceresses or anything, really— [ she was a runaway socialite, after all ] —I just knew I wanted to do something to stop Galbadia. This guy I dated once, he was also in training at the Garden, so I'd heard that they could be hired for anything, and I ended up speaking to the Headmaster, Edea's husband, and getting some of his old students to come and help us out.

[ Her fingers fiddle through the rings, her smile becoming something wistful. ]

One of them was Squall. He's the same guy who Edea had that whole vision about, I guess. This part of it's kind of a long story but we ended up going up against her directly. Their order was to assassinate her, but she defeated us. That's when the general had us arrested.

[ he-- thinks he's still following. there's a hint of something at the word "assassinate", as if he's not expecting that... which, honestly, he wasn't. not coming from rinoa, anyway.

there's lots of different worlds here though, so. and ensemble stars being ensemble stars, he's not entirely unfamiliar with dirtier things like that. he still won't linger on it much. one thing he wants to ask about squall, when her gestures change right before mentioning him... but he won't, yet. there's still more to the story, and he should... maybe not get derailed halfway through. ]

And that's when the Roombas showed up!

[ he remembered! ]

[ Despite where the story is going, Rinoa can't help but laugh at Leo's interjection. ]

The moombas, yes. The general pulled some strings to get me out, but they helped the others. When we got out, though, we found out that Edea ordered missile strikes on the Gardens as... you know, punishment. The whole thing basically started a war between Galbadia and Balamb, which...

[ And here's where her memory gets fuzzy. ]

We fought against Edea and her knight, Seifer. But, um. I don't remember what happened after that, for a little while. So I'll do my best to explain what Squall told me later, okay?

[ She lets go of the necklace, reaching for a piece of the sushi and popping it between her lips. This is where the story gets most complicated, and she wasn't even awake to experience it. ]

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[open] a comfort of frailties in me

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