tabularasa_rp | (open) where have you been? been searching all along 𝅘𝅥𝅮

[ thanks for looking out for him, ren-mama. fortunately he's good enough at not accidentally stabbing himself, given his experience with integrating swords into their choreography...

... but, um, his gaze is definitely leaving the knife now that he's actually getting information out of ren. leo wasn't really sure where this was gonna go, to be honest. if it was going to end with ren leaving, ren avoiding the topic some more, or... him losing one of his closer friends here?

maybe he was just a bit anxious without knowing it. the small weight in his chest that he hadn't been aware of lightens a tad, and in it's place is a fraction of surprise at what he's told.

well... it's something, but it's also not the whole pie, he knows. one step at a time, he's already pushing a bit too much-- ]

Exceeeept that doesn't mean much in the court of public opinion.

[ he figures ren had a bit of a Time. leo definitely doesn't blame him for wanting to not want to deal with that section of himself at all.

he's placing the knife back at ren's side. look, you fake felon, he trusts you enough to give you your weapon back. even with the crazy fight loving persona he was shown that is still the subject of Questions in his head.

don't be greedy, leo. one thing at a time. ]

It's easy to be misunderstood in a society like this. Like, if someone gets an image in their head, everything you do is gonna end up being colored by that image... [ he knows. he had his own time of it, though he doesn't feel as if that's comparable to something criminal? not that it's something to be compared. ] ... I can see why you'd hide that! I'm not gonna bother trying to say sorry about forcing that outta you, we both have the same feelings about fake apologies. All you gotta know is that you're still the same Ren to me.

[ relevant or irrelevant parts or fake felonies or whatever else ren's hiding in there. leo knows he's a good guy, and he's certain he's not wrong about that one! ]

(He didn't have his knife, or a pen, or anything to keep him occupied while the finally unleashes a small, but incredibly relevant piece of himself, so here he is, curling the tip of his hair while he awaits for Leo's input.

No expectations that Leo will believe him, though. It's one thing to say it, another is to prove it, and right now, Leo did bear witness to a scene that could probably be out-of-context enough to disqualify his words... So he's already here, preparing himself to hear anything about how unlikely that is, that he doesn't get to just say it and have it believed.

It's not Leo, though. It's just the trauma that built up... But then, Leo tells him otherwise. Ren's eyes goggle at the words, and how genuine they sound. While he isn't certain on to what extent he believes Leo is fine with it, it surely felt nice to hear it.)

You said it. Thanks.

(Give him a moment, but he finally speaks again.)

Please keep it to yourself. Only you and Akechi know.

Nah. Thanks to you for going along with getting pushed, and sharing that piece of yourself with me. The least I can do is keep that secret to my grave.

[ ... and not misunderstand him like he's already been misunderstood, because that's just sad. he's taking "keep it to yourself" to the absolute extreme... though it's not an exaggeration at all. a word of this won't leave his mouth, ever, whether he's here, or home, or anywhere else.

leo brings his knees up, settling his hands there idly as he hums in thought. ]

You wanna return the favor or anything? I can give you a break from my being nosy if you want!

[ it's a sharing session. wow, real friendship. ]

(All he can really do is nod, a small but sincere hint of a smile on the corners of his lips. He hopes Leo keeps his promise, something tells him he will.)

I did ask you a question about your school, if you want to answer that.

('If' being the keyword here. Finally, he takes the dagger in his hands, inspecting to check whether it needed to be sharpened.)

Other than that, I'm not sure what to ask.

Now you know how I felt! Having that much power leaves the mind blank!

[ ""power"".... but it sure is. being able to ask any question at all about someone is a powerful, powerful thing, and having too many options just blanks your mind! super overwhelming!

... or maybe there's just nothing to ask, who knows. he wiggles his knees a little, piecing together the explanation in his mind. ]

But sure, I'll answer that. I'll answer whatever the heck you wanna ask! It's only fair!

[ for putting ren in the fcking hot seat and basically forcing the words out of his curly, furry head. ]

Mmmm... If I had to put it in the simplest way possible, Yumenosaki's an arts school. It's got a special program for idols and some other stuff... We've already talked about this different Japans business, so I doubt you've ever even heard of it!

I wouldn't know even if there was one in my Japan.

(And for a multitude of reasons! Schools were not exactly lining up to enroll him, he was new to Tokyo and... Why would he look up special programs for idols?)

Why did you become an idol?

(That. That is a question he'd much like to listen the answer to.)

[ haha, maybe. yumenosaki's prestigious enough that leo thinks its existence would have reached ren's ears, maybe, but he's not sure.

but there's the other question, and leo has to pause over it. unexpected... ren's sure getting right to the heart of leo. it's a question he lost the answer to, in the past -- he's much more confident in this now, so it only takes that tiny bit of silence for the response to come, earnest and simple: ]

It's fun!

[ but leo says it like there's a little more to it. he continues as he stretches his legs out, choosing not to give a short answer when ren finally responded to his questions. ]

My little sister used to get really happy when I pretended to be an idol around her. I don't needa say I love music, right? Smiles like that are on that same level of love for me! Somewhere down the line, I thought: hey, you genius! You can mix the two!

[ making people smile. making music from those smiles. then making people smile with that music some more. it's like a horrible feedback loop.

it didn't end up being so simple, so pure, but he's still happy he chose to be an idol. ]

Don't think that I wasn't happy with just making Ruka-tan smile! [ stop the siscon ] Ruka-tan's smile is the best! There's just a whole wide world out there, okay?!

[ a wide world with people like his unitmates and ren in it, where he can make them laugh! and, in return, he finds his own happiness-- ]

(The smile Ren gives Leo grows as he listens. From the little that he knows from idol life, perhaps it's core could be different from what Leo wanted when he started becoming passionate about music.

There's the aesthetic, the promotions, the press, the fangirls... A time when he went out with Akechi and messed up his hair, using his glasses as a disguise comes to mind and he laughs a little to himself. Surely seemed like being a celebrity had its ups and downs...

But there's a strong resolve from Leo on his passion, so Ren doesn't see it like he cares too much about the negative parts of his career choice.)

You're a good big brother.

(He smiles! There you go, Leo! ♪♪♪)

[ pfft. ren's got a pretty smile, doesn't he? all this talk about making people laugh has that being the first thing he notices. with all the difficulties he's sure to have had, it's nice that ren hasn't lost that, at least...

... there's one on leo's face, too, but it's just the slightest bit wry when that statement comes out. ]

Nah. I caused a lot of trouble for her, you know? Ruka-tan's the good egg!

[ the best egg. honestly, thinking he's better now doesn't erase what he'd done in the past. he'll move past it, try harder, but it doesn't change that.

leo taps his boots together, as if that's just a casual, idle fact. mmm, that aside-- ]

What about you, Ren? You got any siblings?

None.

(He does have a few brotherly bonds, though. Futaba being the easiest one to name if so needed.

Ren wants to find every single of the Phantom Thieves if they made it, each new location triggering new worries that someone is there... And Futaba just happens to be the one he is in most despair about not finding quickly enough.

You know, maybe because she's was a shut-in. With severe anxiety. Who is very much dependant on her computer. And the youngest of all 8 of them.)

Do you think more people might arrive?

(Ren knows Leo can't read his mind to get the infobomb, but also... It's fine.)

[ oh! he blinks at that, recollects himself, then: ]

... I dunno. Maybe.

[ it's not a useful answer, he knows, but the truth is he doesn't know. why would he say something that he can't be sure of?

part of him wants the answer to be yes, because if he's not going to be able to leave just yet there's people he wants to see again... but he's also not sure if he wants to be selfish enough to drag them all out of the business of getting their shit together for himself.

ah, what a conundrum. ]

Thinking about some not-in-blood-family you miss? That's what I'm guessing, anyway, since you pulled out that random question after I asked about siblings!

[ he can't read minds, but he can reference context well enough sometimes... at least. ]

Edited (where are my words ) 2020-08-20 22:40 (UTC)

(Out of his head, Leo! Ren squints in response, but after, he nods. He is blessed to have someone with him, even if their relationship is complicated to say the least. A lot of people didn't have this luxury, like the boy in front of him and many others he has spoken to... )

The people Akechi told you about and others. We've been looking, but no success on that.

(He's on the same position. Wouldn't want the Thieves to be here at all, but if they were, he has to know.)

[ leo: i will stay here in your head forever ren

okay, he figured that those two that akechi mentioned before would be in that group... he doesn't remember their names clearly (given his inability to remember names of people he meets directly, it's not a surprise that he can't recall the names of people mentioned off-hand), but he thinks they were his best friends? maybe that's what akechi said? something of a found family for ren, he assumes, like the way knights was for him.

hmm. ]

... You wanna tell me a little about 'em? I can keep an eye out too, in case they ever show up.

[ three pairs of eyes better than two and all... ]

We're eight.

(And he could write a book about each of them.)

Takamaki Ann.

(He is under no expectation that Leo will remember the names Akechi gave them when they pose no importance to Leo himself, but at least he will give him her full one just in case.)

You'd recognize her easily. She's a model, Japanese, with blue eyes and blonde hair. She's one I think you'd get along the most.

[ wow, eight...

there's a thought of his that he can't leave unvoiced as he hears about that, and that's: ]

I'm glad you found such a big place, Ren!

[ despite everything. truly. ]

Anyway, I think I remember you saying I'd get along with someone in particular a little bit ago... That was her, I guess? Why d'you think that?

(He smiles too, a little. They're his family after all.)

It's her and Yusuke Kitagawa.

(That would be it. He can see Leo and those two becoming best friends in a matter of seconds.

Yusuke with his ART and Ann with her easy-going personality.)

Same vibe on both accounts.

Edited 2020-08-25 16:39 (UTC)

[ these are names he's going to forget again, absolutely, but he can try a little harder for ren. ann and yusuke, ann and yusuke, ann and yu--

--ah, wait, he's a little concentrated on that task and almost entirely disregards what ren just said. that was... um. he looks a little as if he just got snapped out of a daze, which he did a little bit... ]

Ahhh? What was that? Same vibe?

[ maybe? is that what he said? he's gonna continue on like that's what ren said, ]

Should I take that as a compliment, Ren? My mind says yes, since these are your important companions...! But my mind's not always so reliable, you know? What is my vibe, huh?

[ it's said playfully, yes, but part of leo...

... does want to know, very genuinely, the answer to that question. maybe that comes through a little bit. despite his grandiose personality, and despite his ability to go on without being affected too much by people's opinions on him, he does still want to be liked. that's just human, after all. ]

(Ren expects Leo to really not even remember the names on the long run! If they end up here, Leo would know. Ren would be glued to them, showing them the Void and introducing them to the new friends he has made.

It's with a throat-y chuckle that Ren notices the shift in Leo's mind.)

I think so. She's very extroverted and friendly.

(Ann, that is. A fierce lady who is not afraid to speak her mind and stand up for herself. Ren's eyes turn into little half-moons, he's so proud of her...)

Yusuke is a painter. He shares your art ideals, I believe.

(He is equally as proud of Yusuke! He went through hell in his journey to follow his dreams and inspiration just hits him from every corner and nothing compromises his ideals of art...)

You're extroverted and artistic. You remind me of them, in a way?

(That being said, Leo is his own person, with his own quirks. He likes both the parts that are similar and differ him from his friends...

Confidant rank up?)

The three of you would hit it off immediately.

Edited 2020-08-29 12:57 (UTC)

[ ... ♪♪♪

that little bit of half-uncertainty at his edges makes way for just a hint of amusement and interest in what ren has to say. it's good leo's eccentricities haven't quite put him off, though leo didn't expect him to say anything particularly damaging. ren is pretty kind, after all.

talking about all these people from home makes him wonder who ren most reminds him of... he's kind and unexpectedly personal like naru, but maybe he's more like... oba-chan? ah, the glasses and messy hair match, too-- ]

Intense art types don't always hit it off! A guy I know hates my guts and he's something of an artsy genius too? Not that I won't try real hard to get along with your Suke and Ann.

[ he'll try... and shu is something of a special case, anyway. a tumultuous relationship, but not exactly a bad one. ]

Mmm... though the best case scenario is if I never get to meet 'em, right? It's weird! Wanting to meet someone but not wanting to meet them at all, wahaha!

[ he's had that kind of feeling before, but in a very different context than now. ]

... Just for that?

(He inquires with an eyebrow quirked. Obviously there should be a sense of competition, after all, they are all artists and those tend to have very particular views on what art should look like, but even then... Just for that?

He gives Leo a chuckle. He agrees wholeheartedly that it's best they never meet. Ren can't tell how time works here in relation to back home, but he knows that if things just move on without them, it's best that they don't ever come. They have brilliant futures! He'd rather them to live them than to be stuck here with him, no matter how much he misses them.)

You're right.

(open) where have you been? been searching all along 𝅘𝅥𝅮

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