tabularasa_rp | (open) where have you been? been searching all along 𝅘𝅥𝅮

[Akechi glances up when he hears the other leave the bath, nodding once he realizes what he's doing. It should feel awkward, staying beside Ren in nothing but his towel, but the truth is, it's just so easy to feel comfortable around him. Ren is a constant, steadying presence no matter where he is or what he's doing.

So maybe paradoxically, that's why he feels like the tension between them is thicker than the humidity. He can't allow himself to be lulled into a false sense of security by that comfort. Can't afford to keep letting Ren in past his metaphorical walls. Not just for Ren's sake, but for his own, as well. If they ever make it back...

He scowls down at the soapy water in the bucket and scrubs his clothing harder. Fuck.]

I think we'll need to find where the water from the river feeds into the bath to stop any more fish from getting in, [he observes finally, voice carefully neutral as he finishes the last of his clothing and wrings them out before hanging them to dry.] I'm certain we can find some kind of suitable method for blocking wildlife once we know what, exactly, we're dealing with.

(Ren follows the bucket idea, taking his spare outfit from the locker and tossing it inside along with everything but the grey coat. That seems like it really should wait for the washing machine and Ren hasn't been wearing it so much - the outfit is comfortable and feels nice enough even without it.

If Akechi is observant enough to look at the clothes Ren starts to scrub next to him, he will notice some holes and rips in the inner fabric of his black blazer. To the words, Ren can't help but to notice the change in tone... Did he see him blush? Is he still blushing? (Yes, just a little.) Did he say something? Well. No use dwelling, so he just nods to the words.)

We can inspect this later. I'm sure I can put something together with all the things at the beach.

Edited 2020-08-23 07:13 (UTC)

[Akechi's own winter coat would certainly do better being dry cleaned than thrown in the wash, uniform or not, so he doesn't even try. Clothes finished, he dumps the soapy water down the shower drain and replaces it, taking one of the as-of-yet-unused buckets and turning it over near the hanging clothes. A few strikes of the rocks, and he starts a small fire inside the bucket, positioned far enough away from everything else that it won't catch and burn things they need.]

Excellent. I'm sure people will be grateful for your accomplishment.

[Is he assuming Ren will do all the work and thus take all the credit? Yes. He reaches up to spread his clothes out for easier drying, then stretches, feeling his shoulders pop. Try not to stare at all that toned muscle he's showing off, not even on purpose this time.]

Is your dagger ripping your jacket?

[Yeah, he noticed. Part of his attempt to look anywhere but at Ren.]

Edited 2020-08-23 07:22 (UTC)

(Since when has that been a factor in anything Ren does? Acknowledgement came organically, but it has never been a motivating factor. After all, who but his people know who he is and what has done for the country? Never cared about it at all... So naturallly, his face expresses his conflict with Akechi's words, wrinkled nose and all.

Either way, Ren wasn't expecting the coat to be a matter of conversation... Specialy now that Ren became Distracted. Akechi gets a vey silent sigh, but more of a glare. He's... Trying so hard.)

Eh- No.

Tifa-san and I had to tend to an animal that entered the bar. I used the blazer to calm it down and capture it.

Edited 2020-08-23 07:34 (UTC)

I'm surprised Tifa-san couldn't take care of it herself.

[She really does punch hard... whatever animal it was, he's certain she could quite literally punch it back out onto the streets. Not just a bartender, but a bouncer as well.

He arches an eyebrow at the glare, hand dropping to his hip as he meets Ren's glare with a challenging stare of his own.]

Is something the matter?

She was scared.

(This was going towards the sparring he witnessed, albeit shortly... Until he's betrayed by his own expressions.

Ren doesn't curse himself, but there's a very long strong of those running through his mind right now... He'd be fine with the question, dodge it, ignore it, continue scrubbing his clothes like there was nothing tugging at his heart strings... But paired with the piercing challenge that he received with the gaze? Maybe too much for him.

It possibly wasn't even on purpose, Ren can acknowledge that, but he... Can't just let Akechi give him one of those and immediately deflate. It's not even an option, specially with how Akechi catching up on it was Ren's fault. He owns his actions, after all.

It's silent for a while, Ren's own gaze not wavering for a second as he tries to study that stupid glare he is receiving... And he breaks. A hand moves to the damp hair shortly before his lips find their way to Akechi's pair. It... Wasn't a gentle one, but much between them isn't. Instead, it was a frustrated, angry answer to the question he had received.

You're a pain, Akechi.)

Edited 2020-08-23 08:05 (UTC)

[Akechi doesn't know what that glare is supposed to mean, hence, the question. If he was going to be scolded for sounding like he was mocking either Tifa or Ren himself, perhaps, though he'd expect disappointment rather than anger. Anger is a good look on him, he thinks, even if it's not an emotion he usually associates with the other.

He opens his mouth to ask once again, or perhaps taunt him, "Cat got your tongue, Ren?" but before he can form any words there's a hand on his hair and lips crashing against his own in an ungentle kiss. For a moment, he's frozen in place from the sheer shock of it, every muscle snapping into a rigid uncertainty as even his own thoughts scramble into an incoherent mess.

Then, as if something chaining him back had snapped all at once, Akechi surges forward with a low growl, tilting his head to deepen the kiss in something almost animalistic in its unpracticed fierceness.]

Edited 2020-08-23 08:19 (UTC)

(Akechi's non-reaction was fair, should it have been the other way around, Ren's own response wouldn't be any different. Ren expected... A punch? To be scolded? Even an unfiltered in strength push was counted in the list of actions Akechi was likely to take once the shock passed.

It is when he actually kisses Ren back that his own brain melts. There was a hope that he would, but it just didn't feel probable when he first made the decision. The resolve gets his heart racing as Akechi is matching him in mood and intent, and God forbid Akechi touches him - it feels like one could feel the thumping loud and clear through his skin.

The deepening of the kiss is more than welcome, even if it's messy on both accounts. It's not like Ren had this experience before, but at least he has watched romance enough so that it's not an absolutely disaster, as it had the potential to be. It gets more aggressive on Ren's part as his tongue enters the equation, almost to show Akechi what the matter is.

Him.)

[The roaring in his ears as he lets himself kiss Ren is almost like the rush he gets when going all-out in combat. He hasn't felt like this since he ripped his own mind apart to try to kill Ren and his friends, slaughter them like the weak trash he thought they were. It's a hungry madness as one bare hand comes up to grip Ren's shoulder, nails biting into his skin as he sucks at Ren's tongue with another heady growl.

But louder than the roaring is the piercing scream of panic slicing through the haze, the scream that he can't do this. It's not that he just isn't allowed something like this for himself, it's that he can't. Not with Ren. Not even if Ren is the only person he'd ever imagined doing something like this with, not even if Ren is the only person he would ever do something like this with. It's just a kiss, but he's already made too many mistakes if Ren is acting like this. He can't afford to let it continue.

So he bites, nipping at Ren's tongue in frustration before the hand on his shoulder opens to shove instead, bodily forcing him back even as Akechi takes several steps back, nearly stepping in his own bucket fire.]

Stop that, [he snarls, and it's the sound of a beast feeling the bars of its cage snapping shut around it. His eyes flash with barely contained rage, masking regret swimming in their depths as he wipes at his lips, feeling spit (his, or Ren's?) coating the back of his hand.]

(Nevermind his slightly trembling hands, one moving deeper in Akechi's locks while the other pulls the other closer by the waist. Each and every move Akechi makes within the kiss is reprocicated with a stronger one, a more passionate lip nibble, a hasty, curious tongue and a smirk that appears just when the lips separate before joining again in their dance.

The nails grant Akechi a pleased sigh, and he comes to the conclusion he doesn't want to stop so soon. There's something rather intoxicating in the chemistry between them, something he feels it's worth exploring... And then it's broken, the bite and the shove coming too suddenly for Ren to prepare himself, almost tripping as a result.

... Sure. Doesn't matter how much he wants to continue, to understand, to challenge this, he can't do it without Akechi. He sees the rage, and there it is. The expected reaction.

Ren just shows both hands, as if to say it's safe, before one of them attempts to find the spot where Akechi's nails pierced. He's not apologizing, though. He meant every second of it, and his own stance is to stand his ground, eyes locked on the other.

What now?)

[The silence that falls between them is only broken by the harsh noise of Akechi trying to catch his breath, the crackle of the fire beside him, and the agonizing pounding of his heart. He can almost feel his blood coursing through his veins, feeling like his whole body is flushed with the need to kiss him again. To see how far they can go.]

Stop, [he repeats more quietly, hands clenched into tight fists at his sides as his gaze slides away from Ren's. His guts feel like they've twisted into one heavy, choking lump as he feels his fingernails biting into his skin like they'd bitten into Ren's less than a minute ago.] I'm not interested.

[It's a lie, and an obvious one, the evidence their actions from just before. But he has to shut this down. Hurting Ren now just means he won't hurt badly enough in the future to make the wrong choice.]

(The silence can be as uncomfortable as it wants; Ren's stare does not vacillate for a second while he tries to gather this thoughts. There's not a smidge of regret in Ren, that he knows for sure. Akechi's been in his mind for such a long time, only building up until the breaking point they've both witnessed.

Parsee was right that he needed to deal with this not to go insane. Case in point.

With Akechi's half-assed lie being thrown right on his face, Ren's lips press together as he raises both his brows. He just saw how not interested Akechi is, but sure.)

You don't want it.

(A correction. Why, exactly, Ren fails to understand, but that's not for him to push. It's not the right time.)

It's fine.

[His mouth shuts with an audible click of his teeth snapping together, another growl in the back of his throat. He does want it. He wants it even more badly than before now that he's had a taste of it. Ren's the only person who's seen the real him, who kept reaching out, and now Akechi has to slap that hand away harder than before.]

Justify it to yourself however you want, [he hears himself saying past the leaden weight that's settled in his chest. The scant scraps of his brain that aren't tied up screaming about what just happened are working overtime to figure out how to fix this.] You're incapable of doing anything like this without getting feelings involved, and I'm not interested.

[That's the only explanation he can come up with to try to explain why he'd let himself kiss Ren back. If he frames it in the purely physical, then it's fine. He can just keep lying. He's always been very good at lying, ever since he learned that people like a kind lie more than the honest truth. His back straightens as he forces himself to meet Ren's eyes again, forces himself not to look at his lips, or the nail marks he'd surely left on his shoulder.]

Don't forget that we have a deal, Ren. That's all.

( He thought they had quit it with the lies. Or at least, Ren has. Through and through, answering and being the most forthcoming he knows how to be - even with the few words that he chooses to share. Akechi, on the other hand, keeps Ren in the dark, even at a time like this, when there's no way this was just... Not after everything they've been through and all the time they're spending here.

Ren trusts his feelings and intuitions enough to know this was not just a product of the moment. Akechi seems to forget that Ren could always poke holes in his perfect image, find the loopholes in the lies and see right through it. Terrible moment to be trying to compensate for that.

His own hands are balled into fists and he will not divert the gaze from the other - but at least Ren is able to keep calm and collected while his mind is running wild, so best of luck to Akechi in his investigating of Ren's features. Unlike Akechi, Ren glances at the lips, the feeling of them still lingering on his own. Can one kiss the lies out, he wonders?)

Of course. That's all, huh?

Edited 2020-08-23 09:56 (UTC)

It is.

[Are his clothes dry yet? He deliberately turns his back to Ren and starts checking them, scowling when of course they're still wet. It's only been a few minutes, after all, and even with the fire, the humidity in the bathhouse isn't going to make it easy.

The last thing he wants to do is get back in the bath when his skin still feels like it's on fire where Ren's hands touched, but he can't go anywhere else wearing only a towel. He's trapped, literally and figuratively.]

If you have time to think about me, you have time to think about ways to get out of here. Focus on that.

[For now, he just needs to go where Ren isn't, so without another word, he heads back into the bath proper.]

Edited 2020-08-23 10:20 (UTC)

(Once more, his inability to think on more than one problem at a time comes back to haunt them. If Akechi's clothes are not dry, surely Ren's aren't. He doesn't bother even checking and before that thought wraps up, along with processing the annoyance that the words brought him (does Akechi think he's not doing that?), Akechi's gone to the bath.

Someone has to stay and watch the clothes, after all, and Ren only has a washed outfit from the waist down. Akechi has never been the easiest person to deal with, so it feels like it's the best for the both of them to have this time apart - they did just kiss after all, like their relationship isn't twisted enough.

He would do it again in a heartbeat.

Ren has his jeans again, at least. The rest of his clothes still warming up on the fire, but Akechi's seemed fine enough to fold and bring it to him, putting them on a surface where the water couldn't mess up Akechi's escape.)

[The bath water is too damn hot. Akechi sits near the taps and tries adjusting them for cooler water, but it doesn't do much. A fish splurts out the tap and wiggles in the water, and all he can do is just stare dead-eyed at it.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Before he knows it, his hands are twined in his hair, like Ren's had been before, but tugging more sharply as he tries to ground himself. He can't do this. Maruki is going to hold him hostage for Ren at the last possible second to force him to change his mind. He knows he is. He's exactly that kind of self-righteous bastard to hold his final card as long as possible and claim it's in their best interest. Fuck him. Fuck both him and Ren.

He forces himself to let go and finger-comb his hair back into place, splashing his face with water. It's not refreshing at all, but at least by the time Ren comes back, Akechi's managed to compose himself, eyes closed, arms resting against the outside of the bath.

He can hear the other boy's footsteps, but it's the rustle of cloth that catches his attention, prompts him to open his eyes and look to see just what on Earth is happening. For a moment, he can only stare at his clothes, then he looks back to Ren. This isn't fair. His eyes linger as he looks over the other boy, finally landing on his eyes.

He can't muster the anger. It's too hot. Instead he just sounds wearied as he asks,] Why do you care?

[Maybe Ren can't hear him over the water. It's fine if he can't. Akechi's not really expecting a good answer anyway.]

(Thanks to the joys (not) of having his memory snipped, he doesn't have a clue that Akechi's life is on the line back in their reality. He had been so adamant about being alive all this time, just unavailable, that Ren hasn't thought for a second Akechi's what Maruki "did for him".

... Mostly because he wasn't quite interested in hearing what Maruki thought should be his ideal reality. He can make one for himself.

The words catch Ren off-guard and he found a lock of hair to curl.)

I know you want to leave. I'm not keeping you here like you're a hostage because I want a resolve out of that. Wouldn't be fair to you.

(... ! He speaks!)

[He stares at him a moment longer, then scoffs and shakes his head. Unbelievable. Truly beyond his comprehension.

His eyes flick back to Ren's lips, and it takes conscious effort not to lick his own. Shit. This isn't fucking fair. But this is a situation of his own devising after all, lies upon lies upon lies, crafting a tower for him to perch on.

But isn't this Ren's fault, too? Akechi tried to kill him. Twice he tried to kill him, and both times he'd honestly meant to do it. Both times he'd wanted to do it, wanted to see him dead on the floor in front of him. And still, Ren and his friends had reached out.]

You'd do better just to forget about me.

[Then maybe he could have some fucking peace for once in his miserable life.

He heads toward the edge of the bath nearest his clothes, intending to get out and towel himself off to start getting dressed.]

But fine. I'll still uphold my end of our deal. This changes nothing between us.

(Akechi wasn't so discreet with where his eyes trail to, at least to Ren's observant self. It does add just a little more fuel to the fire - not interested certainly doesn't cover that look now, does it? Why lie about something so painfully wanted by the two of them? Ren is fully aware about just how bizarre the whole situation is, though.

It's not like he had forgotten everything that he went through just because they are away from it, not when the scars from the interrogation room still show upon his fair skin and the trauma rather fresh in his mind. Even so, his answer is simple and probably too obvious to poke a reaction out of Akechi either way.)

That's for me to decide.

(Not for Akechi or anyone else. Ren lives his life the way he sees fit, true to his decisions, to his emotions and his resolves. Taking that choice away from him is impossible by definition, that's the very core of his rebellion and thus, his very essence.

He wants to move on. If only Akechi had known how much it destroyed him to see that gate closing, just how devastating it was to hear he was missing. How heartbreaking it was to have failed to save him and how much he wished these things to be different. How much he wanted a fresh start. Not a clue on his part that Akechi is very much aware.

And now, here they are. Nothing pulling the strings like they're both puppets in a show made for them, destined to be the other's demise. Ren likes him. Does Akechi really expect him to be quiet, put his head down and just ignore it? He should know better.

Through all these thoughts, Ren almost emanates the resolves and decisions in his head, as intense in expression as he possibly could - specially without the glasses. Ren turns around to grant Akechi privacy to leave the bathtub before he quirks an eyebrow.)

Is that a real concern? Of course our deal would stand regardless.

[His gaze sharpens into a glare at Ren's simple statement, a growl boiling suppressed behind his lips. There's an argument to be made, about how he should have a choice in it, too. That why is it always want Ren wants, what Ren thinks is right, what Ren wants to do. Why is he always the one in the fucking right?!

He keeps his back to Ren as he towels himself off, shakes out his clothes, and gets dressed. He's almost dizzy from the heat and the hot water, but he won't let that stop him from getting out of here as quickly as he can. Running away a voice taunts him, and he can't tell if it's one of his Personas, or just his own mind.

But he can't do this. Can't give Ren any more reasons to let his resolve waver. He'd tried so hard to be liked back then, and now he has to do the opposite. Cut it all off and start over. Akechi spent most of his life alone in foreign circumstances and survived. He can do the same here.]

Good. Because I'd rather end it than compromise it.

[So yes, it is a real concern. His back burns, and he wants to look behind him to see if Ren is watching him get dressed, but he refuses to give him the satisfaction.]

The only thing I care about is figuring out what's going on here so we can go back to where we belong. I can only hope we haven't wasted too much time here already.

(To say Ren is frustrated is an understatement. Ren wants to yell at him, to say the very least. If deals are so important to Akechi, then why is he not honoring their most recent one? Why won't he stop contradicting himself and just talk to Ren for once? Does everything between them have to be a manipulation game until the worst possible scenario happens? Again?

Fuming, although his hands are relaxed and he's putting effort not to press his lips together, the look in his eyes betray him more than any microexpression he might be fighting against. What does Akechi think he is? Fickle? Unstable? He has never not done something he set out to do.

The fact that he's glimpsed towards Akechi and currently is unable to actually touch him again doesn't help the anger pulsating in his face, turning cheeks red. He wants Akechi so much and it's infuriating to feel like the other wants him too, but here he is. Lying again.

The voice that echoes the bathhouse is lower than normal, the tone much more suited to Joker himself than to a daily Ren.)

Do you trust me this little?

Edited 2020-08-23 23:58 (UTC)

[Akechi's back tightens at the accusation, but it doesn't stop him from pulling his shirt on, buttoning it as quickly as he can and tucking it into his pants. Leave it to Ren to cut straight to the heart of the matter. It's something Akechi had always appreciated, even when his princely personality had forced him to take a more roundabout route.

So the answer he gives Ren in exchange is equally as direct, though he doesn't turn yet. He's still getting dressed, after all.]

Do you trust me?

[He pulls his tie around his neck and works to tie it, fingers moving automatically as his muscles stay tense. It's a rhetorical question, really. He knows Ren can't trust him. He's never had any reason to trust him.

He glances back over his shoulder, his own gaze sharpening at the sight of the anger in Ren's eyes. There's a sick sort of satisfaction to knowing he's sparked such a reaction from him, even as much as he wishes Ren wouldn't.]

We have a job to do, Ren. I won't let you get distracted.

(Back home, back then, the answer would be very straight-forward: No. Not before they, as Akechi puts it, "parted ways". Even then, with Akechi confirming that he would get in their way, Ren offered him a chance to join them, to make things right. The certainty on his side that Akechi could, and still can be trusted should the mist in front of his eyes clear. Ren thought it did then.

So, with the tone unchanging, he replies.)

I do. Why don't you?

(It's all he says. If Akechi wants to add anything, he can find Ren outside. He takes the remaining items from his locker, glasses back on his face and next thing, he returns to where the rest of his clothes are.

Coward. Thanks for the input, Satanel, to which are you talking about...?)

[The question only earns Ren a derisive snort. Is that what he's hurt about? Akechi doesn't trust anyone. Ren's special enough that he tells him more than most, and even still, he can't tell him the whole story. It shouldn't surprise him that Akechi can't trust him or anyone else.

He finishes getting dressed and stalks toward the door, grabbing his coat and his sword on the way out. Fuck Ren for making this all so complicated. Fuck him.]

I'm going back to the apartments for now. Come find me when you've got your head on straight again.

[He'll grab something to eat in Wall Market first and then back to the apartments it is. A tactical retreat, not running away.]

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forethinking - 2020-08-24 02:03 (UTC) - Expand

(open) where have you been? been searching all along 𝅘𝅥𝅮

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