open ✨ life can be harsh, it can be bitter.

[starshower]

Who: Tifa Lockhart feat. Cloud Strife & YOU
What: September catch-all. Tifa tries to find something else she enjoys outside of Heavenly Blanc, and drags Cloud along for the ride.
Where: Where the threads happen
When: When the threads happen
Content Warnings: N/A

𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦. 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘭𝘦𝘵 '𝘦𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦. 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍 & 𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚊 ★ 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚙 ★ 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 ★ 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚍 ★ ♫

Comments

So so quickly! Naughty Nug!

[bridge_princess]

[Nope, nope, she was totally done with this. Her hands went for the nughiken's legs, grabbing hold of them as it squawked and flapped at her, firing more eggs. She just closed her eyes and kept a death grip on the stupid thing.]

Thhhhbppppt! ACK! Even real chickens don't have this many eggs in them at a time!

[Cough, ok, luckily its aim wasn't perfect with those, but still. She'd sacrifice her appearance to keep it still so they could grab the little bastard.]

DEFINITELY CHICKEN!

eggcelent!

[memorate]

[ Mouth dripping with disgusting egg yolk and broken shell, Cloud adopts a new strategy in dealing with the bird. With no time to waste, he grabs both the ketchup and mustard bottles, and squeezes them hard enough to aim them both at the nug's face, blinding it it in the process. A lot of it definitely ends up on the ladies, too, sorry...

The good news is that the bird's aim is completely off now, which allows Cloud to approach it without getting egg in his face! Like the hero he is, he picks it up with both hands and gives it a good punt in the opposite direction.

When it runs off, Cloud turns to the other two, seemingly about to say something... except more egg yolk just comes out of his mouth. ]

[starshower]

[Tifa, whose front is now covered in ketchup and mustard, watches Cloud expectantly after the nug runs off to see what he has to say when—]

Oh no...!

[She rushes up to her feet, egg yolk dripping from her skirt, to grab a handful of napkins, some for Cloud to wipe his chin off and some for Parsee, who she offers a hand to for getting off the ground. But just as she does, a giggle starts to build beneath the shock, and that turns into full blown laughter that she makes no effort to suppress.

She can hardly get her words in between breaths.]

Well, that sure did make for an exciting opening day, huh?

[bridge_princess]

[She flopped over and laughed, looking towards the rock over their heads and panted out, looking like quite a mess when the napkins were handed over. Finally, she got to her feet and just shook her head.]

Those fucking things. We need repellant, don't we? I really hope my water clock at least keeps them away.

[She flopped into a seat and groaned, brushing some egg shell out of her head.]

Hey, at least I'm getting a show with dinner right?

[Nope, nothing to be jealous about here. Hah. They all looked stupid.]

[memorate]

[ While Cloud is trying his hardest not to vomit, he can at least take some comfort in knowing that they're having fun. As for him, he'll be happy going without eating eggs for quite some time. ]

It's a one-time only show.

[ ...He hopes. ]

Those damn things... we gotta do something before they completely take over.

[ Can they even breed? They better not with how many eggs they're shooting. ]

[starshower]

Pretty sure there's one that's lived here long before we came along.

[Tifa remembers the first time she wandered in here and she and Parsee found a chicken nug hiding in the cupboards... It's hard to forget something like that jumping out at you, and feeling its featherless handfeet touching your skin...

Despite all of that, Tifa's still laughing.]

Had the same gusto and everything! Had to fight that thing off. Not sure what we can do to get rid of it, though. Was thinking of building some kind of chicken coop up by the lake, but it could just find its way back here.

[bridge_princess]

I mean, ignoring the fact that there wasn't a 'here' before we showed up here in the first place... but yeah, more or less. I remember that little clucking bastard too.

Think he's holed up in here somewhere, thinks its his turf, so you guys might have to deal with him before too long.

[She's finally getting a chuckle as she sat back in the bar and rested there, rubbing her forehead. Damn, she was actually getting hungry at this point for something, anything.]

Say, we can still do that order right? Cause I'm starting to get hungry enough for the pebbles again, and I'd rather not.

[memorate]

Chicken coop? That might work...

[ Cloud is no builder by any means, so it doesn't occur to him to take the reigns for such an idea, but he can certainly get behind it. He never wants to deal with these creepy egg-blasters ever again, and it sounds like everyone else is just about sick of them, too.

But before he can think about the idea any further, Parsee reminds him that he still has an order to complete. ]

--o-oh, right. No, you sit down and wait for your food. I don't wanna hear another word about pebble eating.

gonna start pushing this to a wrap!

[starshower]

[Meanwhile, Tifa's turning up the grill as she gets lost in her own ideas of what the chicken coop might look like. Maybe it'll be a big one with different levels for them to perch on, with soft little cushioned beds. Maybe some lights, if she can fit them...

Her fingers turn the knob on the grill just a little too much, and it ignites a flame that shoots up and engulfs the meat skewer, charring and cooking it in an instant before it immediately dies down again.]

Well. That'll have to do, I guess... [Oops. At least it'll still be tasty!] Cloud, if you'd like to do the honours...!

[And while he does that...]

If I can figure out a way to build one, I could use all the hands I can get...

I'm good handwaving anywhere. It's been a fun thread!

[bridge_princess]

I've got two hands and if you give me a decent hammer I can handle helping out. Just come find me. In the meantime, time to eat!

[She grinned over at the two of them a little impishly, ready to toss a lightly acrid complement their way. Food was food, either way.]