tabularasa_rp | (open) can't hold on or life won't change

(Leaving Heavenly Blanc in Blue's capable hands, Ren and Akechi make their way home. It's been a while by now and while it feels comfortable at this point, it's still a tad strange at times, just having the other right next to him at all times.

His routine ends up always the same - get home, remove shoes, water the plants, make coffee and now, he's lying on the bed, attempting to read this overly complicated book once again. Speed reading is great to get general concepts, but this requires a lot more attention and care for details than he can muster.

Finally, after rereading a line over and over, he caves with a frown.)

Goro, can you come here for a second?

Edited 2020-10-12 18:34 (UTC)

[If it's strange for Ren, it's doubly strange for Akechi. Akechi never had a cat at his side as a constant companion, or, well, anyone. More than once he considers just telling Ren that he'll stay in his own room for now; his shoulder isn't fine, but it's enough that he doesn't need the other boy constantly looking out for him.

But it's also nice, being able to stay with someone like this. Knowing without looking where the other boy is, hearing the sounds of him shifting or breathing. Akechi's seated at the desk with his notebook, gently tapping the end of the pen against his lips as he reviews notes he has memorized by now, jots down small pieces of things he remembers in case it becomes important later.

Maybe someday, the sound of his first name from Ren's lips won't make his heart leap in his chest. As it is, he keeps the weird little emotion from his face as he closes his notebook and glances over.]

What is it?

[He does not go there.]

Confusing wording.

(Ren admits, but while his voice is as neutral as ever, the expression on his face is less so, a frown for the book and a scrunched nose for reaching out for help.

Perhaps he should have read more back home, he ponders, but with how the library never quiets with the sound of whispering - a lot of them regarding him and just how strange it is that the kid on probation is actually interested in studying, almost as if he's like everybody else - Ren much prefers to sit down at LeBlanc during closing hours, when he's tired and it's late, or read on the way to school, a little at a time.

That is, if he can snag a seat in the train. So naturally, the book Akechi lent him takes longer for him to interpret without the practice of intense reading.)

Hm.

[He doesn't sound disappointed that Ren is asking for help, merely curious. It isn't like Akechi himself hadn't had to look things up when reading certain essays; context can be important, after all, and phrasing can be needlessly obtuse. Besides, discussing philosophy with Ren is infinitely more interesting than reviewing the same notes, over and over.

So he does finally come over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge and looking toward the book.]

Read it to me. Sometimes the simple act of hearing something aloud can assist in comprehension.

(While he speaks very little, Ren does have a good rhythm when he's wordier. It's simply something he picked up with Yoshida, through his public speaking tutoring, so, therefore, Ren reads, flawless in tone and flow.)

"Whosoever therefore out of a state of nature unite into a community, must be understood to give up all the power, necessary to the ends for which they unite into society, to the majority of the community, unless they expressly agreed in any number greater than the majority. And this is done by barely agreeing to unite into one political society, which is all the compact that is, or needs be, between the individuals, that enter into, or make up a commonwealth."

(And... Nope! That didn't help at all. If only, it made him more confused to the point he sits up, a hand combing his hair back as he attempts, one more time, to read this godforsaken line to himself.

??? Any number greater than the majority?? What do you even mean, John Locke?? Isn't that unanimity??)

[Ah, Locke. Okay. Akechi listens to him, then frowns and shifts closer. He doesn't rest his head on his shoulder or touch him, merely gets close enough to read the same passage himself.]

Don't focus too much on each individual word. [He gingerly shifts to get more comfortable, still careful not to use his left arm too much, and shakes his head.] When reading texts in translation, especially texts as old as these, it's best to simply attempt to find the main idea.

[He taps a gloved finger against the page.]

This is merely reinforcing his argument that for a society to exist, man must be willing to give up some of his individual power; it's impossible to reach an agreement otherwise.

How do you think that'll translate here?

(Aside from making Akechi happy, there's an underlying reason as to why Ren pays such attention to certain essays. The fact that they are here, only growing in population and property, surely means that soon, they'll have to start making rules and putting the gears to run smoothly as a society.

Gently, he closes the book, leaving the bookmark in place and making a mental note to remember where he had stopped, letting the hair go only for it to return to its usual puffy mess and lying properly with his bed against the mattress.

The book is important, sure, but listening to Akechi's opinion, one that is much more educated than his own, would be just as good. So go on, Akechi, you have his full attention.)

Edited (just an ' that shouldn't be there i hated it) 2020-10-12 20:33 (UTC)

It's difficult to say.

[It's not the first time he's thought about it, and there's a part of him that's pleased that Ren is thinking about it, too. He gets a bit of an approving nod at the question before Akechi rests his back against the pillows, gazing up at the ceiling.]

Right now, there isn't a single individual or group who has enough influence in our little "community" to try to amass power. There's no need to, either; resources are yet to become scarce, there isn't an external threat to fight or negotiate. We're fortunate enough that the majority of the people imprisoned here are from a more modern era, and not preoccupied with a divine right of rulers, either.

Without a lack of resources, there's no need to impose laws, and thus, no need for criminal punishment. "Theft" is difficult to define when personal possessions aren't something valuable to others, or more easy to acquire through means a modern person would consider legitimate, and other things are not "owned" by anyone.

[He trails off, clicks his tongue impatiently.]

In a way, we're fortunate that societal expectations of the people here tend toward peace, and a deviation from that is to be met with expected ostracization. Someone like Hornet, who doesn't have that kind of fear, can act with impunity. I, bound by the rules of my own society, can not.

[And here, he gives Ren a bit of a meaningful stare. If Ren weren't here, he would absolutely do his best to rip Hornet apart and test the full limits of this strange world's powers of regeneration.]

(Akechi is such a nerd, he can't help but think, but at this point? It's endearing, Ren enjoys listening to the other's thoughts, especially when he gets passionate - it's like watching someone in their natural environment, and Ren, for one, feels like he learns about Akechi a little bit more each and every time.

Ren listens, nodding in agreement to all words until that last bit hits his ears, accompanied by the stare. Shifting his position to his side, Ren tentatively takes the gloved hand to rest on the palm of his own, eyes locked on it before he returns the gaze to the other.)

That's not why you're not retaliating. (Akechi, please. Rules of your society or rules of your Ren?)

Perhaps.

[He doesn't flinch when he meets Ren's eyes, only frowns.]

We've currently no way to impose meaningful punishment other than "eye for an eye." There is no jail, no legal system, nor even an easy, more... permanent solution.

[He doesn't hold Ren's hand back, but nor does he pull away, either.]

Any action I take will be reflected on you. You have realized this, yes? The majority thinks very highly of you, and that isn't a position I'm willing to risk.

[For practical reasons, if nothing else.]

(Akechi has never been exactly under Ren's command. Even when he was working alongside, he still had his own agenda and taking Ren as a leader was a fleeting experience. Ren knows he couldn't exactly keep Akechi from doing whatever he feels like doing, he can only opine and ask... And for the reasons given, he has yet to see an insect skull lying around in the Void.

The hand is taken to his lips, a kiss upon the leather as he thinks. Akechi isn't exactly reciprocating, but Akechi's not pushing Ren away, no "stop that", so, as sad as it is, Ren is fine with it.)

I'm not so sure anymore. (There's so much about him, his arrest, his record, his trauma just bleeding out in the open that he isn't quite sure what people are thinking of him as of now.

He's just used to expecting the worst.)

[His heart leaps weirdly in his chest when Ren kisses his gloved hand, and without really thinking about it, he spreads his fingers to gently brush them against the other boy's lips. It's slow and hesitant, like he isn't certain if he's allowed to do something like this. Acting in the heat of the moment is easy, but something so quiet and casual like this is somehow frightening.

His fingers still and draw back as Ren speaks up; he needs that hand to push himself up higher on the bed, concern leaking into the set of his eyes.]

What are you talking about?

[He certainly hasn't noticed a change in the way people treat them.]

(The lips turn into a smile when they're not pressing another kiss to the knuckles, eyes closing to the gentle touch, even if it was so short-lived with the hand being taken from him. He blinks a few times, head tilting before he just shakes it.)

Don't worry so much. (Nothing has changed, last time he checked. People know what they know and mostly understood.

From his experience, that doesn't tend to last. The first slip and it's over.)

We should be on our best behavior, that's all.

Edited 2020-10-13 23:25 (UTC)

[Oh... so that kind of gentle touch is okay. At least, Ren seemed to enjoy it.

Akechi searches his face for an explanation, eyes narrowing when one doesn't come.] Obviously. I've said it before, haven't I? There's nothing wrong with presenting oneself in a favorable light.

[The difference is that Akechi's "favorable light" has always been an act, whereas Ren's has always been nothing but genuine. He sighs and shakes his head, tugging off his gloves with only a grimace from the pain in his injured shoulder.

Once his gloves are off and discarded beside him on the bed, he reaches up, bare fingers ghosting along Ren's chin as Akechi studies his face.]

What concerns me is that you feel the need to say so. What happened?

(Ren's not saying that they should change, but perhaps, they would benefit from laying low and calling less attention to themselves until things calm down, at least. Until whatever next nightmare the Void puts together makes the memories less vivid, less relevant.

The touch is unexpected, especially with the warmth of Akechi's fingers in contrast to the cold texture he had been kissing. Ren leans in a little, almost unconsciously... Until he is presented with the opportunity of actually talking about it and he freezes, microexpressions of a small frown forming.

How to even put it?)

My full record is out.

(And he has told Akechi before that the Interrogation Room and Casino seemed to be the Void's favorite memory to pass around.)

I just want to make sure it doesn't become a problem. (Again.)

[Ren really is catlike in more ways than one, huh? Akechi's struck by the absurd desire to scratch under his chin, but instead just presses bare fingertips to his lips as he'd done before when he still had his gloves on.

It is... troubling, to say the least, to know that Ren's record is out in the open. He knows firsthand just how much that bothers him. His thumb gently presses into the corner of that frown as if he might be able to ease it through touch alone, though he knows that's unlikely as anything.]

I don't think it will be a problem for you. [His thumb whisks up, gently caressing Ren's cheek, marveling at the idea that he just can.] You've already created strong bonds with many people here. Something like that won't be enough to break them. If anything, once exposed to the truth, your circumstances may cause people to respect you more.

[Akechi, on the other hand, is still dealing with the consequences of having his own darker past exposed, the wound in his shoulder one of the more obvious ones. And so maybe he can't help but sound a little bitter as he adds,]

The only true blot on your record for the people here is me. You understand this, yes?

Edited 2020-10-14 00:23 (UTC)

(Akechi is not wrong on his cat remark, especially with how Ren's eyes gently close to receive the caresses, enjoying them to the point that even the touch on the frown alleviated the tension building there.

To a certain extent, Ren knows it's fine with certain people - Leo, who happened to get most of his bad memories, still seems to treat him the same aside from the remarks here and there. Phantom Thief this, Phantom Thief that... It's much more amusing than annoying.

But not everyone can have watched Ren be listed a series of crimes or be brutally arrested and wholeheartedly believe him on his word alone. Ren sighs, taking the hand that caresses his cheek to kiss before he does something out of pure impulse - don't think about it, Ren can't explain aside from "he feels like it".

Tentatively, Ren rests his head on the thighs, looking up at the man as he gently rests Akechi's hand on his own chest.)

I see it differently. (To the last part, of course he does.)

Edited 2020-10-14 02:17 (UTC)

Of course you do.

[Akechi starts to lift his hand when Ren shifts, uncertain what to do with it know; thankfully, Ren's already ahead of him, holding it close to his chest. Like this, he can feel his heartbeat beneath his fingers, strumming strong in a steady beat. His fingers curl gently against his chest, but he scoffs and shakes his head nonetheless.]

Well. I suppose it isn't a bad idea to stay on our guard, especially now that you have Takamaki-san and Yoshizawa-san to look out for.

(After hearing it so many times, it's not a scoff that will make him worry. Instead, all Ren does is circle his thumb against the skin, gently in caress as he closes his eyes again.

He's strangely comfortable, and most importantly, Akechi seems fine to have him there. Much more important than his comfort is respecting boundaries, after all.)

She seems terrified. (Sumi, he means. Ann is not comfortable here either, but in her own way, she's much less dependent on Ren for things.)

I'm going to keep a close eye on her.

[It's strange, how Ren's hand like this doesn't provoke the same kind of defensive anger that he's being pitied like a hand on his back does. It feels nice, Ren's callouses and rougher hands strong against his own softer skin.

It takes a little effort, and it's not without a grimace of pain that he shifts again, turning just enough so as not to dislodge the other boy, but instead reach with his other hand to gently let it brush against the unruly curls atop his head.

No sooner has his hand reached for him that it stills, a serious frown curving his lips once again.]

I suggest keeping an eye on her from an appropriate distance, [he cautions.] You won't be doing her any favors by coddling her.

(Ren taps a finger on the other's hand when he sees the grimace, wordlessly like he's asking of the other to not move much if it will hurt. Ren could move, it wouldn't have been a problem if it would keep the injury from stinging, but there sure is a smile to feel the hand in his hair.

Akechi's hand is smaller, he's noticed, and much softer in comparison to his - all the tool-making and training and whatnot created a contrast between delicate-looking and rough-textured. The softer hand is moved again to lips, Ren pressing a kiss on a knuckle while he thinks and hums.)

You're not wrong. (Obviously.) I just want to make sure she's familiar enough with the Void.

Hm.

[He ignores Ren's wordless request, because of course he does, and only hums in response to his statement. The other boy is smiling, and that's worth any pain.

Ugh. What a sappy fucking thought. Still, he lets himself stroke his hand through Ren's hair, tentative like trying to pet a stray. His hair is a different texture to his own, as well; it truly is unfair how soft it is when he has first-hand experience with how little effort the other boy puts into maintaining it.]

She's updated you on her... situation, then?

(Oh, he puts a total of three percent of effort on it - he makes sure not to comb it back so it doesn't dry weirder. The same amount of effort he puts on his skin, remarkable and unfairly clean when one considers the fact he simply slaps bodywash on it.)

She has. (And he isn't sure what to feel about it. It feels strange to have done something and either not remember, or actually not have done it himself. An empty, incomplete victory.

Well, "he" kept his promise after all.)

How do you feel?

...

[His hand stills in his hair once again, a familiar worm of dread snaking its way into his heart. Surely he isn't asking about Yoshizawa's acceptance of herself, her determination and willingness to move on as herself, no matter the pain she'd suffered in her past.

Surely not.]

You forget that I knew some of this already, [he observes, voice carefully neutral as he forces himself to resume petting Ren's hair, though he doesn't really feel it.] Yoshizawa-san has a tremendous strength of will when she's willing to use it. Once you pulled her from Maruki's grasp, she simply had to learn to stand on her own two feet. I'm not surprised.

[He knows it's not what Ren was asking about, but he can't help but be obtuse. It's in his nature.]

(He isn't. That conversation is meant for her and he has had it, even though he surely is smiling through the summary. It's nice to hear Akechi mirror his exact thoughts - it surely makes him feel like words are not always needed.)

Which is why I think she'll be fine here. She just needs to find her strength to do it.

(He certainly noticed the avoiding of the question, but Ren won't push at it.)

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simulatio - 2020-10-15 01:06 (UTC) - Expand

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forethinking - 2020-10-15 01:30 (UTC) - Expand

(open) can't hold on or life won't change

cuddling edgelord

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awww..... also potential royal spoilers from here down

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