(open) your heart is so beautiful, it's almost nauseating

[kimihiros]

Who: kimihiro watanuki & friends
What: january adventures
Where: adventurous places
When: jan 2021, we made it guys
Content Warnings: anxiety, alcohol, sad hours


♪

Comments

[kimihiros]

I'll decide when I had enough.

(he definitely has had enough. there are what, two, three empty bottles neatly resting near him. the one in his hands is half empty, and he fills the cup before taking a large gulp -- sigh. he fills mugetsu's as well, a creature that would definitely grow stronger from the alcohol, but here? here he just enjoys it instead.)

[bluecastleace]

I’m surprised you’re still using a glass.

[Sigh. Protective mode kicking in. He moves a little closer and crouches down in front of Kimihiro.]

Alright, spill. What’s going on with you today?

[His tone is harsh, but his expression is gentle, concerned. He’s come to care for this asshole whether he likes it or not.]

[kimihiros]

It's nothing you'll understand, Iwaizumi.

(he doesn't mean it maliciously - it's simply the truth of the matter. iwaizumi wouldn't get how much he misses yuuko, he doubts that he even understands his decision to stay in the shop until she returns. with a click of his tongue, kimihiro fills his cup before taking a sip.)

I should be waiting for her, not here.

[bluecastleace]

You know, Kimihiro. [He says this while glaring. He’s very tempted to snatch that cup right out of the other man’s hands.] I really wish you’d quit telling me what I will and won’t understand and just trust me to try.

I give half of a shit about you, if you haven’t noticed, and I’m not actually a complete idiot.

Or you could just drink yourself to oblivion like a moron.

[kimihiros]

(kimihiro, for half a second, may have gotten angry and may have even blushed about it, but before he can get defensive, he decides against it. instead, he just caresses the handle of the pipe with his thumb, a heavy, sorrowful sigh leaving him.)

... I miss her.

[bluecastleace]

[Iwaizumi sighs a bit, finally flopping down to sit beside Kimihiro with his knees up and his arms resting against them.]

And just what the hell makes you think I don’t understand that? It makes sense you’d miss someone you care about, but do you really think she’d want you hiding under a tree all day punishing your liver?

[Not that that’s how that works here, or for Kimihiro period, but it’s the principal of the thing. His voice is softer when he speaks again.]

It sucks. It hurts. I get that more than you’re giving me credit for. I really do.

[kimihiros]

I've been waiting for her for a hundred years. Probably more.

(and that's the part he feels like iwaizumi can't relate. that he couldn't understand. she's gone, and trust him, he has searched from her from the depths to the highs of the spirit world, and nothing. she's nowhere to be found.)

And here, I don't even have our home to wait for her.

[bluecastleace]

[There’s someone too that Iwaizumi would wait for for one hundred years or more, he thinks, but he won’t say so. This isn’t about him, and it would be too hard to admit either way.]

Let me ask you something then, Kimihiro.

Did she ask you to wait for her like that, or are you putting that on yourself?

You deserve a break, you know. No one who cares about someone else would condemn them to grieve that long. You’ve got to go easy on yourself. You’ve just got to.