tabularasa_rp | [open] I am me

Entry tags:

[open] I am me

Who: Kasumi Yoshizawa + you?
What: catch-all for January!
Where: various places around the Void
When: during January
Content Warnings: Persona 5 Royal spoilers in the thread with Parsee, and any other marked threads!

1. resolution
(after the New Year's Party)

[ Despite having helped out with the party, it's still a little strange to Yoshizawa that they're celebrating a "new year" at all. Time has been largely stable since her arrival in the Void, so she knows that for her part, she's only been here a few months... and when she was taken from home, it was March. So it's weird, a little.

Still, it's probably good for them to have some kind of system to track dates, right? And starting with January 1st makes more sense than starting anywhere else, especially given the fact that everyone seems to remember different days as being their last back at home.

It's her first new year since her life changed so drastically, and so something about the tradition of making resolutions speaks to her more than ever, this time around. Fresh starts, or something like that.

So as the party winds down, Yoshizawa can be found sitting at one of the tables in Heavenly Blanc, neatly-written kanji and kana lining the napkin in front of her, the girl adding more to it with each careful stroke of her pen, her brows furrowed in focus.

If she's approached, she'll look up in surprise, offering a shy smile to whomever is joining her. ]

U-Um, are you planning on making any resolutions too?

2. kichijoji

[ It's not just that Senpai and Akechi-san have already made the move to living somewhere in the newly-appeared place that's kind of Kichijoji. Like a few other places around the Void, the place feels something like home, much more than the apartments do. Plus, something about having two entire floors to herself speaks to her. She loves helping Ren out in the Heavenly Blanc, but for someone who loves cooking as much as she does, she can't help but daydream of a small stall where she can "sell" food for the other people who are living here.

It's not like they don't already have a lot of restaurants and the like, but...

Habit has her standing, arms at her sides, considering one of the shopfronts in front of her with a tilted head, as if goods line the outside just like they would back home. She's lost so deeply in her own thoughts that passersby won't even be greeted as they normally would, and any efforts to get her attention will result in her jumping, startled, before she bows. ]

I— I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there.

3. gym

[ In the Aoba Shibumenosaki Underground Academy gym, Yoshizawa is a completely different person - not unfamiliar to anyone who met her within the depths of the Mementos nightmare, but certainly unlike the girl who usually walks around the Void. Dressed in the academy's sports uniform (of course in a striking red), she can usually be found completing routines on the floor, practicing kickboxing or fencing (always versus nothing but the air in front of her), or occasionally using one of the machines to work up a proper sweat. A look of serious focus can always be seen on her face, and people who join her will be met with little more than a brief nod - at least until she's finished what she's currently doing.

Maybe this is how you find her, focused on the workout, or maybe you come across her when she's finished, sitting down against one of the walls and perhaps watching anyone still working out, hair wet from the showers and falling over her shoulders, a container full of food in her lap and chopsticks in one hand.

And it's not just you: that container of food really does seem to be far too big for someone as small as her... ]

4. wildcard

[ want to do something but don't like any of the prompts here? you can hit me up at denouements if you want, or just post something here! ]

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[ His stance shifts, and Yoshizawa watches him in silence for a moment, placing her teacup on the table. The way he sits, hand resting under his chin, looks unsettlingly like the sort of pose a therapist might take, enough that between the way he looks and the knowledge of his shop, she feels Ella stirring, the girl's fingers itching as if she might be able to somehow summon her right into the small house.

Her gaze drops from his, her tone changing to something firmer, less shy and apologetic, and he'd be forgiven if he thought she sounded like someone entirely different now. ]

Forgive me for asking, but before I can answer that, I have to hear it for myself: Your shop, and its wish-granting powers... Under what sort of circumstance would you use those powers, if you had them now?

(from a gentle, awkward girl to a force of nature, in a shift that kimihiro could never expect. he is taken aback for a second, eyes goggled and speechless, but the words that she so confidently lays upon him answer pretty quickly what has gotten her peeved.

his shocked features soon revert to a more neutral expression, sipping on the tea before he can answer.)

It's rather simple. If you have a wish that needs to be granted and you are fated to find me, you would be able to see and enter the store. The wish shall be granted, if it's possible for me to grant it, under the circumstances that you are able to pay the price for it. No more, no less. Upon agreement of terms, the wish is granted. It would be the same if I still had my arsenal and powers at my disposal. Why do you ask?

[ There's a long silence as Yoshizawa processes the words. Already, there's a lot about him, about his words, that's different - in a good way - to Dr. Maruki. People are "fated" to find him, for starters. There's an agreement of terms - and a price. It really sounds like he isn't just a person listening to the broken wishes of vulnerable school kids and granting them with a single-sighted determination to rid the world of all pain.

After processing his words in silence for a few moments, she answers him with the truth... although if she's honest with herself, hidden within the truth is another question, a test of sorts to feel him out a little further. ]

I apologize for my rudeness in asking. It's just that I have come across a wish granter before. He was so determined to make the world a paradise that he altered reality to grant wishes and take away the pain that people felt. I'm sure to some people, that doesn't sound like a terrible thing, but isn't it better for people to feel their pain, and learn from it and grow?

[ If he knew her just a couple of short years ago, he might have been surprised by her feelings on the subject. Even Senpai and his allies might be surprised to hear her say something like this, having seen her at her weakest. For the longest time, she was willing to run from her pain, to hide from it and let it consume her from the inside out, turning her into someone completely different...

...But that was before. Yoshizawa knows now that that wasn't the right way for her to live. ]

You are in your right to mistrust me in these conditions.

(although he does seem rather annoyed at the story itself. making the world a paradise must have taken quite the price, and yet, there was no mention of anything of sorts. isn't it cheating the scale? things happen for a reason, it's all hitsuzen - the inevitability of events. taking away pain allows for the breakage of fates that should occur exactly for that reason. decisions, encounters, destiny. all these are interconnected and apparently, there is someone so mighty powerful in yoshizawa's reality that they can alter all these variables.

that's fucked up.)

I assure you I want nothing of the sort nor am I powerful enough to make that happen, if my word is not enough.

(but he does feel like he owns her a little bit more than that.)

While I do deal with more mundane wishes, a great percentage of what I do is related to things such as spirits, curses, and the sort. They vary - from helping a woman perceive that her Internet addiction should be addressed for her own sake only, to helping an unborn soul cross the bridge. Besides, everything in life has a price, Yoshizawa-san. I cannot imagine the tab that came from the mishap you've just told me.

[ Once again, Yoshizawa is silent for a moment, thinking over his words before she nods in response to him. His obvious unhappiness in regards to the untold cost of what happened assures her of his honesty, his own examples of wishes cast only adding to her belief in him. After a moment, she nods, taking a sip of her tea. Before she can tell him anything else, though, she feels as if she owes him some sort of assurance: ]

In the end, his work was undone. I'm not sure if that helps to, um, fix the issue of the price or anything, but... His power wasn't able to hurt anyone else in the end.

[ Anyone else apart from the Phantom Thieves and their allies, who, along with Dr. Maruki himself, bore the cost of remembering the dream of his would-be reality in comparison to the scar-ridden truth of their own. ]

Watanuki-san, I'm truly sorry for not trusting you sooner. But... I'm also glad that I know more about it, now.

It truly doesn't on a cosmic scale. When I miscalculate a payment, I pay the price myself. I wonder if the same has happened to him.

(except kimihiro gets shredded apart, bleeding the deficit or surplus in equal parts. it's a dangerous job at the end of the day. at her last words, he simply waves a hand and shakes his head. there was no need for all this.)

You don't have to apologize, Yoshizawa-chan. You had an extraordinarily poor experience with him, it's only natural to distrust me when you know nothing about me other than that I work in a similar field. That too is hitsuzen.

[ And once again, she's left silent for a moment or two. While it's true that what Dr. Maruki did was wrong, she can't say she blames him. Especially not when she herself believed that what he was doing was beneficial to her - to everyone - at the start of it all. Still, she's hardly going to admit that, at least not just yet. Instead, she nods in response to his words. Hitsuzen: fate, the greater scheme of things. If she remembers correctly.

She offers him a small smile, and there's that shift in her demeanor again, the shyness back now that she's not concerned about everyone's safety. ]

To answer your original question, I... My apartment now is lovely, but if I had a place like this, I could open a store at the bottom. N-Not to make money, I mean...! I've been helping Senpai at the Heavenly Blanc, but I love cooking, and I think it would give me something to do...

Then you're not following them. It's out of your own desire.

(he only excuses himself to open a window, gracefully picking the pipe from the tray and lighting it with a match. the smoke always adds a mysterious atmosphere, and while it is tobacco, it is much fragrant than one would expect.

it does come from the moon, after all. it's special! with a large inhale, he allows much of the smoke to leave from the window.)

If you're doing your own thing, I doubt that they'd think something ill of you. They'd support you, no? After all, there's no other place where we could open shops like this.

Edited 2021-01-05 17:29 (UTC)

[ Yoshizawa nods, a thoughtful expression written over her features; she knows that he's right, that Ren would certainly support her - Akechi-san perhaps not quite as much, but that's just his nature and nothing against her. But for some reason there's still a hesitation that plagues her - perhaps it's knowing that deep down, there's still a little part of her that feels like she might want to follow him regardless.

Is she being honest with herself, then...? ]

I know that Senpai will support me no matter what. But I've leaned on him so much already, that I... I worry that he might feel burdened by me.

Yoshizawa-chan.

(it's with patience that he hears, and it doesn't fade when he starts to speak. not unlike the advice that he has given her friend, without knowing the relationship between the two, kimihiro states his piece.)

Everything in life is give-and-take. If the scale was tipping down on his side, he'd surely be hurt by it or you would. Is that the case?

[ Of course, with everything else Kimihiro has said so far, it makes sense that he would assure her of the give-and-take nature of her friendship with Ren. And she knows that it's true, that there are ways in which she's been able to help Ren too... maybe not on the same level that he's helped her, of course, but still helping. And so when she nods, it's with genuine conviction - maybe with some hesitation, but conviction nonetheless. ]

Because everything has a price, like you said before. Is— is that right, Watanuki-san?

Correct.

(he sucks in smoke, allowing it to leave his lungs through his nose, slowly and enjoying the taste that lingers in his mouth. the corners of his lips turn when there's no more to exhale.)

If he truly was burdened, he'd be hurting and it would show - it's natural to fight what is causing us harm. This didn't seem to be a part of your list of reasonings for thinking you're a burden, so I believe this is your anxiety talking over reality, Yoshizawa-chan.

(she reminds him so much of himself when he was close to her in age. it's almost endearing.)

[ A red flush of embarrassment springs up over Yoshizawa's cheeks, and for a moment the girl can do nothing but blink at him in confusion. For him to have seen through to the truth of it so easily...

The moment passes, and Yoshizawa finds herself staring down at her cup again. No matter how much she might like to try and deny it, she knows that there's truth in his words. She's become so much stronger, but there's a part of her that remains afraid of burdening people, the way she felt back then like she burdened Kasumi.

Kasumi, who never would have seen her as the burden she believed herself to be.

There are tears in her eyes, and she blinks them away before she looks back up at him. ]

I know that you're right. The truth is... I'm much better now than I used to be, but I'm still learning.

(he's been doing this for a hundred years. hearing, picking things apart, trying to understand the best way to go around a wish -- sometimes, as he has previously stated, it takes the person realizing it by themselves. in yoshizawa's case, he didn't quite feel like debating on it until she realized it, he deemed it an unnecessary approach when she knew all along. she just needed to get the truth out so she could process it.

kimihiro didn't mean to make her cry though, and internally, he despairs for a second before he can offer her a tissue for her tears. good thing his living room had it - it was supposed to serve as the shop after all and this was no uncommon occurance.)

I'm over a hundred and I'm still learning myself. Please, be patient with your own growth. You'll get there and if you have people to support you on the way, that's even better, hm?

[ If she knew that he was blaming himself for making her cry, she'd be quick to set things right, with several apologies to boot, but as it is, she just accepts the tissue with a small smile, using it to dab the tears away from the corners of her eyes when they spring back into place. In response to Kimihiro's words, she nods, sniffling even as she offers him a small smile. ]

Mm, I agree. I, um. I'm not crying because I'm upset or embarrassed or...

[ She pauses, trying to think of how to word it, before lifting the cup to her lips. There's a lot she could tell him, and honestly, she trusts him to do so, but somehow it feels more like a fifth or sixth meeting kind of thing, not second. ]

It's been a long two years, that's all!

I can imagine, if it's pulling you down like this...

(the tissue box is now on the table, and kimihiro rests a hand on yoshizawa's shoulder as to comfort.

kimihiro hasn't cried since he arrived, but honestly, he's a drink or two away of just tearing up, just like her. it's been a long a hundred years.)

Just promise me you'll be kind and patient with yourself.

[ Admittedly, she's grateful for the box of tissues so near, even as she carefully folds the used tissue and puts it on the table in front of her before she sips at her tea once more. ]

I promise I will do my very best, Watanuki-san.

[ Another sip, as she considers what she could possibly do to help him in return. As it stands, she doesn't think there's much, but... ]

If that's anything I can do in return... I mean, you have helped me a lot today.

You allowed me to clear misconceptions and you listened with attention. Isn't that a good price for it?

(and he means it. in front of her is a man whose entire world revolves around transactions. he enjoys helping, and besides...)

You also allowed me to help you. I feel much closer to myself when I am able to help.

[ She offers him a bright smile in response to his statement. Given everything he told her before, she doesn't doubt him when he tells her that he considers her simply listening an appropriate transaction. Still, she can't help but feel like she'd like to find a way to help him too, sometime in the future. So... ]

Still, if there's anything in the future... please let me know, okay? I know I'm still learning, but I like to think I'd be able to find a way to help you, too, if you ever needed it.

Well, if my shop ever makes it here, I will need someone to run errands for me, because I will not leave it.

(literally. if it's up to him, he's not moving. of course, when she gives him such a bright smile, he can't help but replicate with one of his own. he finally returns to the pipe, coming closer to the window as to not let much smoke reach her.)

We can strike a deal. I can continue to help and listen, and you help me around. What do you think?

[ It's a good offer as far as she's concerned; Yoshizawa nods, and takes another sip of the tea before she puts the cup down on the table, watching him standing in the window with his pipe. ]

That sounds good to me. It will be nice to help out!

[ Plus it will be the least she can do, if he feels that he cannot bring himself to leave his shop, if it comes.

Speaking of... ]

I do hope it comes here for you, Watanuki-san. It sounds like it is very important.

It is. I am waiting for someone there.

(oh boy. this conversation might go sideways, but kimihiro is absolutely hellbent of returning to the shop, waiting for yuuko to return, regardless of how many years have passed or have yet to go by.)

Even if I doubt it will be my shop as is, if I have it, I can wait there. It's better than nothing.

[ A look of confusion comes over Yoshizawa's face in response to that, her fingers curling around the cup once more - not to continue drinking, but to let its residual warmth sink into her skin. Her head tilts. ]

Waiting... for someone?

[ Of course, she wants to know more... but is it really her place to ask? ]

That's right. If you wish for something with all your heart, sometimes the universe listens. I promised I'd wait, so aside from being physically bound to it, I wouldn't leave on my own accord.

(many things tie him to the shop. he's sold his ability to leave, for one. two, he is a cosmic imbalance -- syaoran can never stay in a place, kimihiro can't leave his. the two equals that shouldn't have been still found a way to keep things from tipping over.

finally, he needs to see her. it's the only possible way, he has promised.)

[ She's a little surprised at the idea that he's physically bound to the space that makes up his shop. But more on that later. What draws Yoshizawa's attention is actually the rest of what he said:

If you wish for something with all your heart, sometimes the universe listens.

And then:

I promised I'd wait...

Her brows crease, eyes closing as she tries to put to words the truth of what she's thinking - without being hurtful. ]

It's okay to wish for something with all your heart, Watanuki-san. But what about things the universe can't change?

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Persona 5 Royal spoilers!

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mention of injury

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