tabularasa_rp | 006 - Connecting Lines, Connecting Lives

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006 - Connecting Lines, Connecting Lives

Connecting Lines, Connecting Lives New Imprints ▲ Comments The Ground Shakes
It begins unremarkably enough, with the light tremors of the ground so small they might easily go unnoticed, or else dismissed as the movement of some creature nearby. As time goes on, however, those little tremors begin to grow in both strength and duration, the length of time shortening between each one. To begin with only small, light, unsecured objects are rattled loose by the rumbling of the ground, but as the tremors grow in strength there is a growing danger of much larger things being moved.

The realm’s clear lack of understanding of how things work cannot be relied upon in such a situation. If the tremors have grown strong enough to throw all the books of Hammerhead to the ground and throw over all the clothes rails and capsule machines and furniture in the Academy, then what if they grow strong enough to move the heavy blanket of snow atop Mount Silver? What if they grow strong enough to damage the caverns within?

Then there is the question of how, or why, the realm has made the land shake. It must surely have picked up the idea of an earthquake from someone, right? An answer to the question is not immediately forthcoming, but should one stay low to the ground and listen, they might well hear the muffled, distorted sound of screaming.

Creature Chaos
As the rumbling and shaking continues, it is clear to see that the local wildlife has been disturbed, and they seem remarkably active. Critters can be seen running and flying to and fro, and any who go out to investigate may find themselves the center of attention. Brushboys may paint arrows on the ground in an effort to lead them somewhere, or bluurgobos might actively offer rides, or the flying cat-like creatures will excitedly circle someone before attempting to lead them somewhere. Going along with them will lead to one of two places:

The meaty, pulsating, cavernous tunnels of Mementos shudder and convulse in a way quite unlike before, and closer inspection will quickly reveal why. The flesh has been cut and torn, hacked apart, leaving gaping and bleeding wounds to spill over the subway tracks. Whichever critter has brought someone here excitedly gestures towards the wounds, and as it does a giant and painful shudder goes through the tunnels and shakes the earth. All those earthquakes… could this be the source?

The road to the Hammerlocke Citadel Ruins are as long as winding as ever, and precarious with the risk of an earthquake dislodging snow and rock from the mountainside. The animal that has taken the lead is on a mission, however, as unclear as that mission might be. On arriving, it turns its attention to a group of the spiky, bear-headed beasts that are lazing about as though the land is not currently shaking and quaking around them, and tries to draw their attention. Clearly, these bear heads are expected to do something, and they aren’t doing it.

First Words
Though the tremors have finally stopped, they have left a significant change to the World in their wake. Where the ground above was once flat and untouched, there now lay cracks and fissures that glow with a strange, but enchantingly warm light. There doesn’t seem to be a single area that has been left untouched by them - though the number of cracks are denser in some places than others, it’s difficult to find a place completely devoid of them. Could this be the world’s attempt at trying to heal itself?

If all of that wasn’t enough to warrant investigation, the sound of whispers that appear to be coming from they might do the trick. Upon closer inspection, however, it becomes apparent that the whispers aren’t coming from the lights, but from inside your own head. Focus a little more, and some of the voices may sound familiar…

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I'm fine, [he says automatically, even he thinks do I fucking look fine?! He draws himself up, visibly tries to put himself back together for a moment, before he hears Ren's voice in his head without seeing the other boy move his lips.

All at once, a cold frisson of fear shivers through him, and he takes a step backward. The anger returns full force, coupled with a frenzied terror hidden behind his eyes.]

Get the fuck out of my head.

(No, he doesn't look fine. Terrified, bloodied, and enraged fits the description much better than fine, but even before he can think anything, the other's fear fright is already intensified by the sheer fact that Ren can hear it.

It's not like Ren is thrilled about Akechi being able to hear it either.)

It's not me. It's this. (Ren gestures to the substance at their feet.) You're in my head as much as I am in yours.

...

[Nothing comes through the ley line then, as Akechi's own thoughts seem to scramble into nothing but images. This is what he was afraid of with Cole, from the very beginning. The idea that Ren can hear his very thoughts--

you'll see exactly how fucked up i am]

Give me one of your Molotov cocktails.

[He holds out a hand expectantly, like the idea of Ren saying "no" doesn't even occur to him.]

(The words hit him, and Ren tries to control his thoughts. Good thing is that he spent all that time meditating at home, able to clear his head. What hits him is that Akechi acts like Ren doesn't know. Like Ren wasn't there when Akechi ripped his own mind to kill him. Like Ren hasn't been dealing with every single breakdown Akechi has had since they've entered the Void. The way Akechi seems to not allow Ren to love him, like Ren can't accept that he is a broken individual and be there for him while he puts the pieces back together. Like Ren isn't permitted to forgive him. He doesn't think anything, but he feels it like a thousand bricks, hitting him right on the back of his head.

With a sorrowful sigh, Ren opens his bag, removing a Molotov without a second thought. One could have reservations about giving the bloodied man a weapon, but like, he already has two. Ren trusts him.)

[The moment the bottle is in his hand, he crouches, grabs two rocks to make a spark and ignite it, and hurls it into the fissure.

Of course, nothing happens. The bottle shatters against the rock wall deep beneath, and then resulting fireball is nothing if not impressive, but it doesn't harm the blueish liquid at all. Akechi bites back a snarl, sublimates it behind a scoff, and turns on his heel.]

Useless. I'm going to go get cleaned up. I'd advise you stay out of Mementos.

[But still, uncontrolled, his thoughts spill into the ley line: i can't keep letting you see me like this. why haven't you left yet? please don't leave even if you should]

(Using a Molotov was a routine thing back home, so he barely reacts when it's thrown, perhaps a step or two back. No expectations that it will do something to the substance, like anything they do when the Void decides something is useless, every time.

Ren nods -- he needs some time to think, even if he was homebound when he was taken to Mementos. It's best to leave Akechi to his own thoughts for a few hours too, nothing good ever comes out when both are hot-headed. Unwillingly, he picks up that last thought and he doesn't fight the one that arises immediately.

I'm not leaving you.

When Akechi is no longer in sight, Ren's feet drag him to the bathhouse. His thinking spot, the heart at the bottom of Mementos, is now compromised -- it's the next best thing. A few hours later, he arrives at home, floral scent trailing him while he removes his boots, his gray trenchcoat and his belt to finally make way to their room.)

Goro?

[He wavers when he hears that thought, but doesn't stop. If anything, he walks more quickly, deliberately shutting down and doing his best to think of nothing at all. He has to figure out how to control this. Maybe communicate with some others once he has a better sense of it, learn how to use it to his advantage. Learn how to filter out the thoughts he needs to keep to himself.

It's... odd, seeing the number of fissures, feeling the aftershocks, hearing the faint sound of screaming. He doesn't know how to feel, other than a kind of regretfulness that some of the buildings in Kichijoji were damaged. Should he be sorry for causing this? He isn't.

By the time Ren comes back, Akechi's cleaned up and done some investigation himself. He looks -- normal. As if nothing had happened. His saw sword, now clean, rests near the door like always.

He's not at peace. Far from it. But he can at least act the part, even if he's had to bandage the cut on his face and take care of countless other small wounds. His forceful ejection from Mementos hadn't exactly been gentle.]

I'm here.

[His voice is carefully modulated to indifference; he's seated out on one of the balconies, a glass of water in his hand. A part of him wonders if it'd be better if it were alcohol; a part of him thinks it's better that it's not.]

(Usually, this would be the part of his day where he changes into a more comfortable outfit - his sweatpants and shirt, that rest untouched on the couch near him. Nothing about the conversation they're about to have is comfortable, so why actually bother?

Opening the fridge and selecting a can of soda, he soon joins the other on the balcony. The leylines were everywhere in Heavenly Blanc, but he didn't expect them to be in their own apartment as well. After all, it's elevated, untouching of the ground save for the empty store downstairs.

He takes a seat, and unknowing of the fact that Akechi would be able to hear it loud and clear, his mind produces a thought.

I just wish you'd talk to me. What am I doing wrong?)

[Ren always makes a point of changing into something more comfortable; Akechi rarely does anything of the sort. He'd stripped off and disposed of the tattered uniform out of necessity, but only in favor of his own school uniform. Minus the jacket, but he'd put the tie back on out of habit and hadn't seen a reason to bother taking it back off again.

His gaze sweeps over Ren, takes in the fact that he hadn't changed, before returning out over "Kichijoji" once again. For the moment, he has his thoughts under lock and key, an iron door slammed between them and the ley lines, as far as he can tell. He can't hear any of the whispers, and he can hope that no one can hear him.

His heart beats rabbit-fast in his chest, but he doesn't allow it show on his face. He even manages not to flinch when Ren's thoughts seep into his mind in spite of the barrier he'd thought he'd erected. He just takes a sip from his water in a show of calculated ease before looking to him once again.]

And what, [he answers the unspoken thought aloud,] Do you think we should talk about?

(Akechi doesn't flinch, Ren does. He wasn't expecting the man to hear it, wasn't expecting their own household to be attacked by the fluid as well. He looks around in confusion, sees the spots covered, realizes that it does nothing -- after he had done it in Heavenly Blanc as well.

Well, no escaping from it now. It's just going to make this conversation a bitch, but some conversation is better than no conversation. Ren breathes in, focusing on the way his chest goes up and down instead of anything that can arise in his head, and finally, he speaks.)

You're not okay. What's going on?

[It's forced honesty, in a way; Akechi almost relishes Ren's discomfort. If it weren't affecting him, too, he'd be more pleased about it, but you know. At least both of them are suffering.

He takes a sip from his water and returns his gaze out over the empty city, watching the subtle telltale glow of blue-white fissures glimmering across the streets.]

Did you investigate Mementos?

I did, before I found you.

(Which makes it rather clear that he knows what was causing the earthquakes. Cauterized wounds and jagged cuts are too characteristic for him to think otherwise.

Still, Akechi's question doesn't answer his own.)

Hm.

[He hums quietly, his gaze flicking toward Ren's face again in an attempt to measure his expression. Is he angry? He should be. Sad? Pitying?

why don't you hate me]

I don't intend to apologize. In fact, I'm certain there are some who would be quite pleased with our new form of "communication."

I don't want you to apologize. You didn't know.

(There was no way Akechi knew there would be such dangerous consequences. It did nothing when they were stuck there for once. Ren just looks serious, perhaps nervous.

The thought reaches him and Ren goggles his eyes in surprise.

Is this what goes in your mind when we're together? That I should leave you? That I should hate you?)

I don't want to hear it from your thoughts. I want to hear it from you. What's going on?

You should, [he snarls, answering the thought because what fucking difference does it make, apparently. Even in his worst moments, he could retreat into his own mind. No longer. His bare hands grip the glass hard enough that he thinks he could shatter it if he really put his mind to it. He could hurl it from this balcony and watch it shatter, just like he'd done a few hours ago with that Molotov.

He doesn't. He sets the glass aside on the little table they use when they eat outside and folds his hands instead.]

You know, Damien-san said something interesting, a long time ago. Before we left. I mentioned how Yoshizawa-san told me about awakening Hereward, and he made the observation that perhaps I'd been able to achieve some kind of inner peace. Reconciling my justice with the urge to destroy.

[His knuckles whiten as he squeezes his own hands, fingernails starting to dig into the backs of his hands. It's quiet, full of bitterness as he adds quietly,]

I have found no "peace."

(Few things have been keeping Ren together, with how tired he is, how much he has had to deal in so little time, not mentioning home. Not mentioning feeling Akechi slipping through his fingers again, even if it wasn't how he expected. Hearing that Akechi seems to want Ren to leave is getting on his nerves and he had to remind himself of what he heard before Akechi thought before he left.

"Please don't leave me, even if you should". He's scared, isn't he?)

What did you find instead?

[He shrugs, the bitterness from his voice sharpening his humorless smile.]

I think I'm simply not suited to an environment where things are going well.

[how fucking BROKEN am i]

So I suppose I should thank you. Whoever I would have been in Maruki's reality would not have been me.

Why didn't you talk to me?

(You know, instead of taking out his anger on the first thing he found.

Ren takes a sip of the soda, it nearly choking him down his throat.)

And said what, exactly?

[His teeth grind together, but oh, they've opened the gates now, haven't they? His fingernails find the edge of a bandage and dig beneath it, tugging at the gauze until it hurts.]

Tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to say.

[It's a plea disguised as a command as he glares into Ren's eyes, shoulders shaking with the force of his emotions. don't go don't go don't go please don't leave me too]

(His mouth opens, he's about to make his point when the words invade his mind's space. That, coupled with how Akechi was fidgeting with his bandages, with his own pain, Ren has to recenter. It's gentle the way that he takes Akechi's hands to himself, trying to make him stop and listen.)

Goro, I'm never going anywhere that isn't beside you.

(I won't leave, no matter how hard things get.)

You've no sense of self-preservation at all.

[He squeezes Ren's hands, feels his nails start to bite into the other boy's skin and abruptly yanks his hands back.]

Do you know why I went into Mementos? It's so I wouldn't take my sword to every breakable thing in this apartment. Tell me, is that the behavior of a rational man?

Inside.

(While the nails hurt, Ren barely flinches. It's not the first time. He feels like this fight might escalate, and while there isn't anyone in the streets that he can see, he sure isn't just going to assume that they're safe. Ren takes his can, but doesn't drink from it, leaving it at their desk once he is inside.)

You not breaking our apartment and knowing it'd be wrong, redirecting your anger elsewhere? Sure does.

(Why are you angry? Was it something I've done?)

I need you to listen to me.

(I know you're scared. How can I make you understand?)

I'm not angry at you. We've had this conversation before -- I know this frightens you. I know you have things to work through, Goro. I accept you the way you are. Why can't you accept that? I'm not leaving.

[He hides a sneer when Ren tells him to move inside, recognizing it as petulant. Their apartment, normally so open and airy and welcoming, feels stifling right now as he glares at the other boy.]

What, [he says again, breath coming hard through his nose,] do you want me to say? You ask for answers I don't have, Ren, both what you say and what you think. One may as well ask why and how you can love so unconditionally.

(He's fuming. Not because Akechi brings out his thoughts, but simply for the fact that they can be heard. When rhetorical questions, not the ones he means to ask, turn into reality by these goddamned little goos in the creeks of their floor.

Unlike the other, he's not one to lash out. It's not Akechi's fault that he can hear it, and once again, he reminds himself to keep his attention on the air entering and leaving his lungs, empty his head of unwelcomed thoughts. There must be a way to turn this off.)

Those questions were not for you.

(A breath in, a breath out.)

I accept and love you for what you are, Goro. I hope you can accept that one day.

(He removes his turtleneck, only to give way for the sweatshirt he's putting on.)

[It hurts. Ren's words dig into his chest and settle into his heart like a weight that makes him feel too much. They have an air of finality about them, like Ren's willing to accept that as the end of the conversation.

He just stands there in the middle of the room and watches Ren, focuses on simply breathing and not grinding his teeth into pulp. Eventually, like a puppet with cut strings, he sags onto the couch and stares straight ahead.]

Masayoshi Shido, [he murmurs, quietly enough that if Ren wanted to pretend he couldn't hear, it would be easy to act like it's too soft,] had a terrible temper. Paperwork strewn about, bottles broken, people beaten. You experienced the consequences of his anger firsthand.

I do not want to be like him.

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