Viridi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forceofnature) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tabularasa_rp2021-02-01 11:28 pm
forceofnature) wrote in tabularasa_rp2021-02-01 11:28 pm
open: worship me
[ley line]
Behold! Assorted sentient apes of the Void!
I come bearing good tidings for all. I, the Great Goddess Viridi, Beloved Nurturer of All Life, She Whose Gentle Majesty is Incomparable and Whose Praises Shall be Sung on the Tongues of Songbirds for Time Immemorial, have deigned to create for you mortals a physical space in which you might offer me worship and adoration. Our -- my shrine is finally finished to perfection!
In return, I shall solve all your problems with my wisdom accumulated from across the ages. For a small nominal fee of ten to fifty seeds, sprouts, or cuttings of any fruit, flower, vine, bush, or flora of your choice, you, too, can benefit from my divine genius.
Love problems? Love yourself first! Lack of motivation? Hit the gym! Despairing at ever returning home from this featureless depressing waste of a world? Join the club and go pour down some single malt whiskeys.
For a testimonial as to the efficacy of my brilliant wisdom, please refer yourselves to:
-That one guy crying on the mountain
-Captain Capitalism, a.k.a. Kaiba boy
-Or Parsee
Oh speaking of -- go worship Parsee, too. This was technically her shrine first before it merged with the other stuff. I'm a fair goddess. Hey Parsee mind if I invite a bunch of people over to our shrine not hearing a no thanks Parsee!
((respond directly to this - or action threads in comments))
Behold! Assorted sentient apes of the Void!
I come bearing good tidings for all. I, the Great Goddess Viridi, Beloved Nurturer of All Life, She Whose Gentle Majesty is Incomparable and Whose Praises Shall be Sung on the Tongues of Songbirds for Time Immemorial, have deigned to create for you mortals a physical space in which you might offer me worship and adoration. Our -- my shrine is finally finished to perfection!
In return, I shall solve all your problems with my wisdom accumulated from across the ages. For a small nominal fee of ten to fifty seeds, sprouts, or cuttings of any fruit, flower, vine, bush, or flora of your choice, you, too, can benefit from my divine genius.
Love problems? Love yourself first! Lack of motivation? Hit the gym! Despairing at ever returning home from this featureless depressing waste of a world? Join the club and go pour down some single malt whiskeys.
For a testimonial as to the efficacy of my brilliant wisdom, please refer yourselves to:
-That one guy crying on the mountain
-Captain Capitalism, a.k.a. Kaiba boy
-Or Parsee
Oh speaking of -- go worship Parsee, too. This was technically her shrine first before it merged with the other stuff. I'm a fair goddess. Hey Parsee mind if I invite a bunch of people over to our shrine not hearing a no thanks Parsee!
((respond directly to this - or action threads in comments))
no subject
[viridi really likes leaning into the hypocrisy]
It doesn't matter, though. The point is that my magnanimous heart kept your weird trauma buttons to myself for three months. Lavish gratitude is in order, I think.
[...]
Or, you know, just keep away from the fruit, which is all I'm asking.
no subject
[
She sure does!Yeah, no. You admitted it Viridi. That counts]I think it has less to do with your.. magnanimous heart.. [Can you hear the sarcasm?] ..and more to do with your flighty personality.
[Also, she could forget that plethora of gratitude, but maybe she knew it wouldn't fly since she added the last part]
You know if I just walk in it's vicinity it's not going to spontaneously combust, right?
no subject
I take any opportunity I can to insult you, I despair of humanity as a whole, and I have a vested interest in the well being of all other living things.
[...]
And you probably do make things spontaneously combust just by walking past them with all the hair spray you use.