open: worship me

[forceofnature]

[ley line]

Behold! Assorted sentient apes of the Void!

I come bearing good tidings for all. I, the Great Goddess Viridi, Beloved Nurturer of All Life, She Whose Gentle Majesty is Incomparable and Whose Praises Shall be Sung on the Tongues of Songbirds for Time Immemorial, have deigned to create for you mortals a physical space in which you might offer me worship and adoration. Our -- my shrine is finally finished to perfection!

In return, I shall solve all your problems with my wisdom accumulated from across the ages. For a small nominal fee of ten to fifty seeds, sprouts, or cuttings of any fruit, flower, vine, bush, or flora of your choice, you, too, can benefit from my divine genius.

Love problems? Love yourself first! Lack of motivation? Hit the gym! Despairing at ever returning home from this featureless depressing waste of a world? Join the club and go pour down some single malt whiskeys.

For a testimonial as to the efficacy of my brilliant wisdom, please refer yourselves to:

-That one guy crying on the mountain
-Captain Capitalism, a.k.a. Kaiba boy
-Or Parsee

Oh speaking of -- go worship Parsee, too. This was technically her shrine first before it merged with the other stuff. I'm a fair goddess. Hey Parsee mind if I invite a bunch of people over to our shrine not hearing a no thanks Parsee!

((respond directly to this - or action threads in comments))

Comments

[bridge_princess]

[She glanced at the tree and waved back idly.]

Ngh... Nah, I'll be fine. I'm definitely fine. And you're right. It isn't really necessary but it's just how I am. How most humans are too. They avoid their problems until it's too late.

Why the disease exists at all.

But I don't handle rejection well.

[She handled it a hell of a lot better than cheating, however.]

[forceofnature]

I guess holding on to rejection forever is kind of your thing.

[They seem to have exhausted this topic for now if Parsee's not going to budge. Viridi will shrug and pick up her broom, having lost some interest.]

I'm doing some cleaning, by the way.

...If you want to help, you can stand off to the side until I'm done and then maybe you can artfully cough at a 45 degree angle so the petals scatter nicely.

[bridge_princess]

I'm not that bad.

[Yes she was. Her only real saving grace was that it wasn't actually 'her thing.' But avoiding rejection? Absolutely a thing for her. She made a face and glared at her.]

How about we both sweep on opposite sides so I don't cough unrequited love in your face?

[forceofnature]

Look, if you're going to torture yourself, it can at least be put to a good cause. Your misery is to my benefit, so it ends up being a sort of net neutral effect.

A lose-win. Which cancels out to a nothing. Which is better than a lose!

[...]

[bridge_princess]

Ngh... you know, I might just cough right in your face to see if I can share this with you intentionally. [Mutter mutter.]

fine. Sweep everything up. You're such an idiot sometimes.

[Why did she put up with it? She was getting paid attention to, and that was important to her, even if it was negative attention.]

[forceofnature]

I have a tree that punches people for me now.

[Viridi cheerfully responds, although Urgle doesn't seem too enthused at the prospect of punching Parsee.]

Perfect!

You won't regret a thing.

[yes she will]

[bridge_princess]

Been punched by bigger things than a tree. But sure, we can do this. [She settled herself into a seat and gave the poor tree being talked about a nod.] Besides, I don't really have to do that much work for this one, do I?

[Yeah, but she was used to regretting things with Viridi.]

[forceofnature]

((This tag got eaten by notifs! Really sorry! Although I think we're close to the end anyway.))

No, just be your usual cheerful self and I'll pick up after you. It will be fine.

[And just as the scene closes on this comic scene of two goddess/spirits, Viridi feels a tickle in her throat and clears it.

...She tries very hard to ignore that.]

Fade to Silliness!

[bridge_princess]

(OOC: Damn you dreamwidth! *shakes a mighty fist* hah, happens all the time. No worries, and yeah we're close. I'll have a March post up when the next slate of imprints goes up, probably early month. I think this is a great close point for the thread as is.
Nice, amusing capstone.)