Let me Crawl Inside Your Veins (Wide Open)

[bridge_princess]

Who: Parsee bridge_princess and You!
What: February Open Log
Where: Pretty much anywhere
When: February (after the 8th)
Content Warnings: Body Horror, Blood, Roots and flowers growing in things like lungs and other places they don't belong. Probably some serious self loathing here

Prompts below!

Comments

[bridge_princess]

"Overgrowth?!? The heck you taking about? It looks like Hanahaki, but you should be coughing it up. Maybe it's because you're a Geth?" She wasn't actually sure he breathed normally so that, yeah that would make sense.

...

"Uh... I guess I probably am, yes." Said the girl who was currently sprouting flowers at this point around the seams of her clothes. She was definitely afflicted. "But it's fine. I'll be fine." No she wouldn't.

"Why'd you call it Overgrowth?"

[forwearemany]

They headtilt at her response. "Request: define Hanahaki."

Is there another illness of similar form? Perhaps this is a combination of those illnesses, or what afflicts them is not the Overgrowth with which they are familiar.

"Overgrowth: a disease from the island of Umui, in which flowering plants would grow throughout the body. It is cured by the confession of repressed emotions and secrets."

They look down at their leg. "Though more localized than the strains we are familiar with, all data suggests that this infection behaves in a similar manner."

The part about being fine gets a lot of doubtful chatter, and a flap raise. "Though death does not exist here, that does not remove the potential for harm: victims of Overgrowth have also been known to lose the capacity for conscious thought and attack others without capacity to distinguish between friend and foe."

[bridge_princess]

"..." She waited to let Legion finish. It felt important to go over it all. She dissected the information, frowned and coughed into her hand, petals floating accusingly towards the ground. "Sounds a lot like Hananaki, except for the zombie bit at the end. Thaaaat doesn't happen normally."

And the mere thought that it might happen here would be the thing that finally helped coax her to yield and confess to Rinoa. In several days. She wasn't keen on that kind of transformation, after all. Another cough and she grimaced gripping her chest.

"Might be in your leg because you don't have lungs like me. It's ...just romance back home. Hiding feelings for someone... ngh." And because she trusted Legion... "Those are definitely why I have it. But won't do much good to confess to anyone but her, ngh... I already admitted I might be interested. Only reason it's hitting now's if 'might' means 'am.'"

[forwearemany]

"This unit is incapable of experiencing romantic love."

So it can't be that.

They listen to har, as she talks about her own feelings. She? They decide not to question it--self determination is the right of all sapient beings.

"She is aware of the possibility. Why do you fear confirming it?" They know organics don't like admitting to crushes but ... doesn't she basically already know?

[bridge_princess]

"I envy that a little. It tends to be a source of problem. Even ignoring this. But if you can't? Then that means it doesn't work exactly properly here. Big surprise." She grunted. It was more trouble than it was worth tonight definitely.

...

"I don't want her to say no. And if I don't ask her, she can't say no." Simple logic.

[forwearemany]

"Romantic love often incites irrational behavior." Legion is pretty sure they're better off without it.

Parsee, however, is clearly hurting, and that's more important than their personal opinion of romance.

"This would also mean she cannot say yes."

[bridge_princess]

"I won't pretend it's the most rational decision I've ever made. And you're not wrong. It's how I wound up this way too, honestly." Yeah, Parsee and Rational Thought were only distant cousins on the best days. But what Legion said next made her swallow and she shifted uncomfortably.

"Wh...Why would she say yes to me? She's been nice, offering not to decide, but what about me is that desirable?"

[forwearemany]

They stare at her quietly.

Why do their allies so consistently dislike themselves?

They would hug her, or at least attempt to, but their illness limits movement--they start to get up and screech in response to the agony that shoots through them in protest of the movement, legs crumpling beneath them.

Even when still, they burn.

It takes them a moment to recover, but when they do, they focus on her again.

"We are unable to accurrately judge attractiveness in this area. However, comparison to relationships we know of suggests you are considerably above average." They aren't very good at this.

[bridge_princess]

The moment they made that sound, she got up and shot them a horrified look. "You! Sit still. You're worse off than I thought," she snapped right before nearly doubling over from a coughing fit, going to a knee and walking over only after it had passed, sitting down, looking at the injury on Legion's leg.

She grunted. "Ok. Maybe I'm not ugly. I know that. But... dealing with me's dealing with a youkai, a monster. Jealous constantly. Even with the changes... what I put her through. She'd be at risk of it again. Why ... why would she want that? Why would she want someone who could cause that much trouble for her?" She swallowed hard, fighting with emotion and looking up at Legion.

"What are you holding back? You're hurt. I don't want you hurt like this, Legion!" Another coughing fit. She was getting excited and upset.

[forwearemany]

"You are also highly intelligent, and a good friend." They chatter a bit, but stop moving. The flowers are growing all through their leg. They're covered in tiny flecks of white, though as she hasn't seen them wounded before, she might not recognize it as blood.

"Parsee, we are a murderer." They've hurt a lot of people too, but they doubt she'd call them troublesome or monstrous or unworthy of love. "We have many friends."

"This unit is unaccustomed to pain. We are uncertain what we must confess to cure this."

[bridge_princess]

She was looking more upset, grunting painfully and looking up at Legion. She couldn't tell what the white was at all, but it was leaking out of the Geth and that worried her. "And Youkai are known for killing humans and eating them," she grunted out, the worry evident in her face as she coughed once into her hand, growling in pain. "She doesn't need to deal with that risk, even if things are changing. What if I turned back? You and I both have blood on our hands."

Then again, Rinoa was a revolutionary. None of them were really innocent here. She sighed. "Ngh... Might have something to do with feeling closure somehow? Who you talk to. Like... I probably have to talk to her."

[forwearemany]

"It is her decision." Said firmly, because there's no way they're budging on that. "Risk is inherent in relationships even without these factors. Additionally, it is common for organics to willingly risk continued existence." They seem to enjoy it? Legion doesn't entirely get that.

They are about to tell Parsee that they're pretty sure she doesn't actually come close to the amount of blood they have on their hands, when they hear what she next says, and their headflaps flare and flutter, lights flashing red.

"If Parsee is correct, curing our affliction is not possible."

[bridge_princess]

Ngh... she knew that Rinoa was within her rights to take whatever risks she wanted. But she didn't want to screw her life up anymore than she already had. And she was legitimately concerned that just being with her was bound to be ... "I.... and it's my decision if I tell her. I'm not ready to today."

She ground her teeth, looking angry. She was downright furious. "Th...This place isn't in the business of killing us. We've been here months and it never did anything like that. There's gotta be something we can do, Legion! You're willing to talk about it. We should be able to fix this!"

[forwearemany]

"Acknowledged. However, we request that you do not allow yourself to become a 'zombie'."

The bones in the Drifter's neck snapping in their-they take the opportunity provided by Parsee being close to reach out and hug her.

"We will continue to try. However, if you are correct, those we would need to speak to are not in this location."

[bridge_princess]

"... No, I won't let it go that far," she said, coughing raggedly into her hand. "I won't let myself become a monster of that sort just to avoid talking to her. She'd never forgive that." Not to mention a few others would be really pissed at her. She could do this. Eventually. Probably. Hopefully.

"If it's like that... then it's not that you have to deal with," she grunted, sour in her voice, trying to stay calm. "We ... We just have to figure out what's going on before you end up a zombie. Figure out what you have to do."

[forwearemany]

"Acknowledged. We have already experienced having a friend succumb to this: we do not wish to repeat the experience." Legion would forgive her, but also they'd probably sink further into depression and does she really want to contribute to that?

"Perhaps. Regardless, we will not allow ourselves to become a zombie."

[bridge_princess]

The good news was that she did at least address the issue before it came that far. It got close, but it didn't get to the point of zombification and the damage wasn't permanent. That possibility would have been worse than emotional rejection by a mile. She wouldn't have been able to handle becoming that because of this. "Agreed," she muttered past a little cough.

"Good. I'd really rather not find out what a Geth zombie is like."

[forwearemany]

"Though we would lack intelligence and complex abilities, it is likely we could still be extremely dangerous."

Legion would rather die than become that.

They should probably actually try confessing something though. If they want to prevent it.

[bridge_princess]

"Yeaaah, the little I know about anything like a zombie? Definitely not something we need for any of us to turn into. So, good plan." She frowned, though, noticing that Legion wasn't doing any of that confessing thing by now. Maybe...

"Do you have anything you need to say to me? Or is there someone else you need to talk to?"

[forwearemany]

"Those we would talk to are not here. However..."

Their headflaps shift, and ripple.

"Earlier you spoke of reasons you believed your friend was unlikely to return your romantic affections. We do not feel romantic love, however, we have cared and still care for many who would be considered ... worse."

[bridge_princess]

"She's... also kind of in love with someone else, Legion. He's not here, but she has someone back home. They aren't married, but they've been dating and I know how important he is. It's just... she's too free with her heart." That was really what the problem was, wasn't it? Rinoa could love just about anyone, but Parsee wanted her to be in love with her.

[forwearemany]

Well, they were going to tell her about who they still care for but they're distracted by her words.

...That does change things.

"Even if it is unlikely that she will return your feelings, you will still have friends who care for you." Including Legion.

[bridge_princess]

"I... I know. And, I know it's hard for me to acknowledge that quite the way most people do, but it means a lot that I have you, that I have friends." She swallowed a little and closed her eyes. "I also know that I don't think I would have developed feelings for her if I could have just chosen who, but you fall for who you fall for. I don't like that I'm asking her to choose me over him. I don't want to be the other woman, even if they're not married."

[forwearemany]

"Acknowledged. Love is not a choice." It is simultaneously a revelation and something they've always known-they've never put it into words.

They still care about the people who hurt them.

[bridge_princess]

"It really isn't, is it?" It was something that choices could impact, but those feelings tended to have a life of their own. Something she'd learned long ago. She just didn't like admitting.

Because, admit it or not, part of her still loved her husband for a very long time after he died.