tifa lockhart. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
starshower) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tabularasa_rp2020-09-02 08:04 pm
starshower) wrote in tabularasa_rp2020-09-02 08:04 pm
open ✨ life can be harsh, it can be bitter.
Who: Tifa Lockhart feat. Cloud Strife & YOU
What: September catch-all. Tifa tries to find something else she enjoys outside of Heavenly Blanc, and drags Cloud along for the ride.
Where: Where the threads happen
When: When the threads happen
Content Warnings: N/A
What: September catch-all. Tifa tries to find something else she enjoys outside of Heavenly Blanc, and drags Cloud along for the ride.
Where: Where the threads happen
When: When the threads happen
Content Warnings: N/A
 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦. 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘭𝘦𝘵 '𝘦𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦. 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍 & 𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚊 ★ 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚙 ★ 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 ★ 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚍 ★ ♫ |
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[Gruuuuuuunt. Of course he asked. On the upside, at least Tifa knew about the whole otherworldly thing so that wouldn't need clarifying. Parsee rolled her eyes over at Cloud and smirked to herself.]
Man, I hope so. If Cloud manages to do worse than a pebble, I'll be legitimately impressed, heh. But yeah I'll take some chicken skewers.
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[ No he's not, he's just desperately being defensive when his skills have come into question. If he does worse than a pebble, he might just drop into a fetal position and cry.
Please give him a minute while he self-consciously starts up the grill. Damn it, he'll show them! ]
Tifa, where are the grill tongs?
[ His eyes are darting his surroundings so quick that he doesn't realize he's already holding them in his hands. ]
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Sure as hell hope so. If they taught them to dance, they should teach them to cook.]Oh, they're right—
[Except when she goes to grab them from where she'd last set them down, she doesn't find them either. Her enthusiasm dies like a flame being put out, and her smile fades into a deep frown.]
That's weird. They were here, weren't they?
[Uh oh...
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the two of them, there are a pair of beady black eyes embedded in a small, featherless head staring over their shoulders at Parsee from the shadows.]
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[She noticed the beady eyes and squinted over Tifa's shoulder, frowning as she did. Oh, so they had a third worker? Or was this something else? Hmmmm.]
You two hire backup to your extremely lucrative side business, out of curiosity? Cause... [gesture. Not afraid. It was hardly her first beady eyes to see.]
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[ His voice trails off before he can finish his sentence, because he can tell by looking at her that she's been alerted by something unnatural. Something behind them? It's got to be. Something dangerous? He won't wait to find out, quickly picking up a knife with his other hand before turning around.
Whatever it is, he's ready to rumble!! ]
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And when she's close enough to the back counter, it leaps out at her, clucking wildly. She would recognize that sound anywhere—she's heard it enough times in the past—but has barely any time to react as the featherless chicken leaps off the counter with the tongs held tightly in its beak at Tifa, but its hand-foot wraps around her shoulder and uses it as a springboard to bounce at Cloud and Parsee behind her instead...!]
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[This is Parsee's contribution to the current situation. It flapped just barely past Cloud and landed on her head, and was proceeding to freak the fuck out flapping its useless wings and grabbing her hair. One egg, two egg, three egg... this thing was firing eggs of in some attempt to get them to leave it the hell alone and she was flopped onto her ass, flapping her hands and batting at it, grabbing at it, trying to yank it off.
The one advantage was that, for all her flailing? She kept grabbing it before it could run away with the tongs. She was, however, getting covered in egg. Yum.]
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Either way, Cloud will rise to the occasion and be a hero every time. ]
HEY, get the hell off our--
[ Just as he leaps forward, the nug points it's ass at Cloud and fires off another egg... right into his open mouth. It immediately breaks, leaving Cloud to choke on eggshells and yolk. Please hold. ]
this escalated so quickly
The moment Parsee falls back and an egg flings itself into Cloud's mouth, Tifa springs into action. While Cloud chokes on the egg, she leaps out from beside him and slides over the counter action-movie style to try dragging the nug off Parsee while she dodges one egg... two eggs... as the animal shoots them out like bullets.]
I got this, and I've had enough of you!
[She wrenches the bird free from Parsee's arms to allow her some time to recover but just as she picks it up, it shoots a third egg and nails her right in the face, shell breaking against her forehead from the force of the impact, and dripping yolk down her face.
Tifa drops it out of surprise and it resumes its fighting, pecking at the two girls now, trying to pull down Tifa's socks and pluck out Parsee's hair.]
So so quickly! Naughty Nug!
Thhhhbppppt! ACK! Even real chickens don't have this many eggs in them at a time!
[Cough, ok, luckily its aim wasn't perfect with those, but still. She'd sacrifice her appearance to keep it still so they could grab the little bastard.]
DEFINITELY CHICKEN!
eggcelent!
The good news is that the bird's aim is completely off now, which allows Cloud to approach it without getting egg in his face! Like the hero he is, he picks it up with both hands and gives it a good punt in the opposite direction.
When it runs off, Cloud turns to the other two, seemingly about to say something... except more egg yolk just comes out of his mouth. ]
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Oh no...!
[She rushes up to her feet, egg yolk dripping from her skirt, to grab a handful of napkins, some for Cloud to wipe his chin off and some for Parsee, who she offers a hand to for getting off the ground. But just as she does, a giggle starts to build beneath the shock, and that turns into full blown laughter that she makes no effort to suppress.
She can hardly get her words in between breaths.]
Well, that sure did make for an exciting opening day, huh?
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Those fucking things. We need repellant, don't we? I really hope my water clock at least keeps them away.
[She flopped into a seat and groaned, brushing some egg shell out of her head.]
Hey, at least I'm getting a show with dinner right?
[Nope, nothing to be jealous about here. Hah. They all looked stupid.]
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It's a one-time only show.
[ ...He hopes. ]
Those damn things... we gotta do something before they completely take over.
[ Can they even breed? They better not with how many eggs they're shooting. ]
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[Tifa remembers the first time she wandered in here and she and Parsee found a chicken nug hiding in the cupboards... It's hard to forget something like that jumping out at you, and feeling its featherless handfeet touching your skin...
Despite all of that, Tifa's still laughing.]
Had the same gusto and everything! Had to fight that thing off. Not sure what we can do to get rid of it, though. Was thinking of building some kind of chicken coop up by the lake, but it could just find its way back here.
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Think he's holed up in here somewhere, thinks its his turf, so you guys might have to deal with him before too long.
[She's finally getting a chuckle as she sat back in the bar and rested there, rubbing her forehead. Damn, she was actually getting hungry at this point for something, anything.]
Say, we can still do that order right? Cause I'm starting to get hungry enough for the pebbles again, and I'd rather not.
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[ Cloud is no builder by any means, so it doesn't occur to him to take the reigns for such an idea, but he can certainly get behind it. He never wants to deal with these creepy egg-blasters ever again, and it sounds like everyone else is just about sick of them, too.
But before he can think about the idea any further, Parsee reminds him that he still has an order to complete. ]
--o-oh, right. No, you sit down and wait for your food. I don't wanna hear another word about pebble eating.
gonna start pushing this to a wrap!
Her fingers turn the knob on the grill just a little too much, and it ignites a flame that shoots up and engulfs the meat skewer, charring and cooking it in an instant before it immediately dies down again.]
Well. That'll have to do, I guess... [Oops. At least it'll still be tasty!] Cloud, if you'd like to do the honours...!
[And while he does that...]
If I can figure out a way to build one, I could use all the hands I can get...
I'm good handwaving anywhere. It's been a fun thread!
[She grinned over at the two of them a little impishly, ready to toss a lightly acrid complement their way. Food was food, either way.]