tabularasa_rp | Change is in the Air (OTA)

[She was on her fourth drink at this point. Strong drinks. Stiff ones. Parsee looked anything but pleasant right now. Her countenance was twitching, twisting and she looked almost furious, like she was struggling to hold back a lot of emotions.

Now, for those who frequented the bar? The reason would be obvious. She was always pestering Joker, and Ren wasn't here. He wasn't anywhere to be found, and Parsee was ... not taking it well. Fingers dragged around the edge of her glass while she twitched. She'd seen people disappear, people she'd liked, but now he was missing and she wasn't handling it nearly as well.

It didn't matter how much she'd prepared. It didn't matter that she had known it was coming. It wasn't possible for a spirit of jealousy to handle this kind of thing. At least she wasn't wrecking the joint!]

(Heavenly Blanc is a good place to go if they want to be around other people, so without much else to do they find themselves wandering in.)

Parsee.

(They spot her immediately, and approach as soon as they do. She appears distressed.)

[She pounded something that looked clear and smelled very much of licorice. The anise-flavored liquor went down hard and she winced before her eyes locked on the approaching geth. When she spoke, her voice was strained, tired, almost exhausted emotionally.]

Ren's gone, Legion.

[They'd talked about this before. Legion would understand why she was having issues right now, she was pretty sure. Probably better than most.]

(They consider, for a moment, getting their own drink. Perhaps soon they will.)

We are sorry. Do you desire the presence of allies?

(Does she want them to stick around or should they leave her alone?)

... I want you to stay.

[She reached out to motion to the chair next to her and sighed as she dragged her hand through her hair and closed her eyes, groaning a little bit.]

I... knew this would happen. We both did... but still... I don't handle loss.

Acknowledged.

(They don't sit immediately, instead going and getting an alcoholic beverage of their own before joining her.

They're about as surprised by her difficulty dealing with loss as they are that water is wet. After a moment, they place a hand on her shoulder.)

[She sighed, gripping her forehead and grumbling. She wanted to smash something. She wanted to smash this whole place and burn it to the ground, but fire didn't work properly so what good would that do?]

I don't like losing things, Legion. I don't have much, so I get really possessive. I'm so jealous of his world right now. They get him back...

Ren is not a thing.

(Still though, they understand not wanting people to leave. They squeeze her shoulder gently.)

You still have friends.

... [She closed her eyes and sighed. Ugh. She was clearly pissed off right now, because she'd screwed that up pretty badly. Leaning into the squeeze, she rested her head against the Geth's shoulder.]

You're right. He's a person. An important person to me... [She sucked in a breath and growled.] And you're right. I still have you. I still have others, but how long? How long before I'm alone again?

...

I should probably be just cherishing the time I have, but I'm really not good at that.

(When she rests against them, they take their hand off her shoulder and wrap their arm around her instead.)

Unless you are returned to your universe of origin, losing all friends is unlikely.

(Disappearances have been rare, so far. They know of only a few.

They pour some alcohol into their chesthole.)

[She knew the statistics hinted that, as long as the Void was here and she had the fortune or misfortune of being here as well? Legion was almost certainly right. Everyone disappearing was unlikely. She knew half the people in this place as well. It really was unlikely. But still...]

You know I'm pretty awful at making friends... but you're right. [Pause.] Does. ...does that actually work?

[Because morbid curiosity was cutting through her mood a little.]

And yet, you have made them.

(They have no doubt she can make more.

When she asks about the alcohol, their headflaps ripple.)

Uncertain.

(They consume it, but they ... don't actually know how effective it is at influencing them, or whether it can make them drunk.

...Can people even get drunk in this world?)

[In truth, Parsee had no idea of the alcohol even worked on her. Youkai were tolerant, and at the end of the day it was probably as much a placebo effect as it was anything else. She hadn't been drunk in coming here, but she also hadn't been going at it full tilt.

She sighed.]

You're not wrong... and in the end I guess I know that. I've lived long enough. I just don't want to have to.

[Groan]

Why do you have to be so damned logical about everything?

[Parsee... seriously?]

(Legion doesn't even know what drunk is supposed to feel like.)

It is our nature.

(They headtilt.)

Query: what is your age?

(They don't understand it's a rude question.)

[Eh, it stopped being rude when she died. But, it was also one that made her think for a minute.]

Well... let's see. I was about twenty when I became this. Kind of hard to remember exactly how old I was. But ... let's see... I want to say it was over a thousand years when the Meiji took over and we went under the barrier, and they say most of the folks around here are from around a hundred years after that...

Uh... around twelve hundred years.

(They knew she'd been like this for a long time, and they're not unfamiliar with species that live for a thousand years or more.

Still, it's a little surprising.

They take a moment to pour some more alcohol in.)

Acknowledged.

[Yep. Youkai were known for having Krogan lifespans. Or for being spirits and therefore kind of eternal at that point.]

Since you asked... uh... how old are you?

Clarify: Is Parsee asking about individual component programs or this collective as a unit?

(The answers are different depending on which one. Legion was bits and pieces of many different Geth before they became Legion.)

Let me think.

[She risked going back to the memory she'd shared. She could feel her head splitting a little, but there was something about what Legion said that she was able to decipher. Finally the cacophany ceased and she nodded.]

You as a unit. I know there's more than one of you in there, but I have trouble quite 'seeing' you as separate right now. So you as a unit.

"Legion" has existed for approximately five Human years. A truly accurate measure is impossible due to the inexact nature of time in this location.

(The programs, of course, are in many cases much older: pieces of them date from before the morning war. But the specific consciousness that is Legion is actually very young. And they only really started to fully actualize as an individual shortly before they were killed in their home universe.

...She probably thought they'd be older than that, didn't she?)

[Given how Geth perceived time and operated at such a blinding computational state, she honestly hadn't been sure about that. Their perspective was so far removed from humans at times...]

Five years... which is kind of an eternity for you. I'm not sure if you're older than me or younger actually.

Though our perspective of time is different, we are constrained by the limits of our physical platform.

(They can think super fast but they move and interact with the world at the more standard pace of organics.

...They're pretty sure Parsee counts as being older.)

So... in other words, you can 'do' and 'think' thousands or more times how much someone might do within the span of a short time in their whole lifetime. But you still only exist for the time you did.

Which, yeah. I guess you're a lot younger than me, but definitely busier.

Yes.

(Except for the busy part. They were, at one point, but for years now...)

It is ... quiet. (Not here, in Heavenly Blanc, but in their ... "inner world"? Even with a network to talk over, and lots of broadcasts of Bob Ross from Turing and questions from Add, it's practically silent in comparison to what it would be with other Geth.)

Is quiet a bad thing? I'm curious how it feels for it to be so quiet.

[She kind of thought it wouldn't be so bad, but people also frustrated the hell out of her a lot of days, so... that made her a bit biased.]

Coping Badly (Heavenly Blanc)

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