tabularasa_rp | [closed] I don't believe in much but I believe in you

Entry tags:

[closed] I don't believe in much but I believe in you

Who: Blue + company!
What: Sometimes you pine so hard you turn into actual pine(?); Closed toplevels for the event!
Where: Various!
When: Mid-February, mostly
Content Warnings: Probable graphic illness/blood descriptions, as you'd expect!

[Toplevels below! Hit me on

kitsoru if you want to plot something!]

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[For once, instead of being inside the bar and tending, Blue is wandering the outskirts of the trails around the bar; he's been feeling a little under the weather today, waking up to his head feeling oddly swimmy and a nagging cough that just won't quite clear up. Some fresh air is obviously what he needs, so he's committed to a hike from the apartments, around the bar, and maybe even up the side of the mountain.]

[Crossing paths with others in the void was always a chance thing, since there still weren't any real daily cycles and everyone had their own pace; but he recently came upon the habit of trailing around the newly opened-up ley lines to eavesdrop on anything interesting- for lack of better things to do. It helped him take his mind off of the loneliness he'd been nursing for a while, immersing himself in other people's problems- whether it worked, or not.]

[Stooping over to another coughing fit, he looks back up again to see a familiar figure standing further down the trail, and calls out with a wave.] Oh, Cole! Over here--! [COUGH, HACK. Shouting was maybe a bad call.]

[It's been a few days since he started feeling ill, and Blue can't say he's feeling much better... In fact, his head only seems to get swimmier, and his chest feels even more congested. The first time he coughed and found red in his hands he'd freaked out, and at this point he isn't quite sure what to do.]

[Usually quite the active person, Blue been opting to stay put in his apartment ever since then, and he's starting to go a little stir-crazy with worry and anxiety over this mystery illness. Not that he's totally in the dark over what it could be.... And yet somehow, it doesn't seem quite believable, either.]

[But rather than contact anyone for help, he remains isolated. Blue has a bad habit of spiraling in his own head, putting the weight of his worries solely on his shoulders- and forgetting that there are others around that he can rely on. Sometimes, he can use the reminder.]

Edited 2021-02-19 01:07 (UTC)

[Once blood became a part of the equation, Blue had decided that it would be for the best if he just wasn't around other people; who knew whether this weird illness was contagious or not?]

[He'd just had this conversation, hadn't he? That at least things hadn't gotten so bad around here yet. Blue and his big mouth. He should have known better than to tempt this world into throwing a wrench into things..... or a flower, as the case was.]

[At least he's lucky enough to have Pokémon to trot to and fro from the apartments on errands when he needed food, or in attempts to sniff out information or berries for medicine, but there doesn't seem to be much he can do but to remain stationary in his apartment, coughing up red petals camouflaged in slimy blood and mucus into whatever he can use as a wastebasket or a trashbag, and trying to keep his fever down with snowpack brought back from Mt. Silver by his Pokémon. He doesn't want to invite any company over, but at this rate, he was really in need of some manner of intervention....]

[ Raihan, on the other hand, has practiced no quarantine etiquette and has been roaming around freely for things that he needs! contagion hadn't crossed his mind, thanks to the sheer novelty of the symptoms - coughing up flowers just feels too surreal to be transmissible, and probably due to sheer stupidity, he decides that it isn't going to keep him from doing what he wants to do. the fatigue, however, has other plans for him - a couple of days of going at his usual pace tap him down for the count, and soon enough he's similarly hunkered down in his room in a sad lump of bedrest and coughing misery.

it gets a little more serious when the dandelion seeds he's hacking up become spattered red with blood, at which he musters up what little strength he has to at least find a ley line close enough to send out a message. he knows he isn't the only one that's ill, and from the responses he gets, the cure seems to be closer in reach than he thought. he has to stifle a wry chuckle when he finally understands - of course that's why it was dandelions. what else would it have been?

he's surprised that he doesn't hear Blue's voice among the responses he gets through the ley line, and it worries him. it hadn't taken a rocket scientist to see that he and Blue were more or less two peas in a pod in this situation, which meant that the other man was almost certainly in the same state as him. he stays out for a little longer, making a pit stop at the Heavenly Blanc to ask Ren about where he last saw Blue - it confirms his suspicion, and once he's stopped at his room to pick up a peace offering from his room's fridge, he knocks on Blue's suite door. ]

S'me. Open up.

[It just happened suddenly, the same way most things in this world seemed to change. Whatever the reason, this place finally understands more about what he's supposed to be.]

[Except, it's a little overwhelming. Maybe because he's technically been without it for so long, or...?]

[When Blue finds him, he's just holding his chickpeewoo companion in his arms, listening to its comparatively simplistic mind. Until he hears his name being called, and he looks over-]

[There's pain there, some physical but there's more, deeper. He's only brushing the surface, but it still feels like more, harder to separate from himself. He forces himself to focus, heading in Blue's direction.]

What's wrong?

[I mean, it's not exactly a greeting, but since when has Cole been good at those.]

[ When it became obvious that there was something going around, Blue was one of the first people they thought of. He hadn't been feeling well that last time either, so of course, as the hale and hearty one, it was Turing's responsibility to check on him and make sure he was okay. Honestly, humans were so physically fragile sometimes!

...Though it was nice to get to be the reliable one, especially when it felt like they were always getting help from others in one way or another.

They stopped at Heavenly Blanc first to make sure that Blue wasn't on the floor again, but if he had been, at least they would have known where he was. The fact that he wasn't was worrying in its own way, and their mind was already making up a good handful of worst-case scenarios in case something bad really had happened. The next most obvious spot was Blue's room, so they hurried off there next. ]

Blue? Are you there?

[ Knock, knock. ]

[Blue shudders in place as he stops, hand still mid-wave. The accusation is caught out on his face obviously enough, even if Cole couldn't hear the unfiltered guilt running through his mind--] Haha, what are you talkin' about?

The hell, am I that obvious!? ...I mean, everyone knows about how I've been lately, but still...

[Guilt wells up, and with it loneliness, embarrassment, and longing. Red is all that's in his thoughts lately when he wakes up, and when he goes to sleep, and he's felt it furling in his chest slowly but surely for the last month, to say nothing of the last week, consuming him.]

[He tries not to let it show, of course. He's never been exactly great at deflection.]

--Oh, you must be talkin' to your Chickpee there! Right? How's the little guy doing?

[There were different kinds of vigor, for sure- and Turing was fortunate to be of fairly sound body and mind, compared to a lot of the void. If size was their only detriment, they were probably coming out of most of the weird things that happened alright. Being a robot probably helped- that is, until the void had something to say about it....]

[Indeed, when Turing visits the Heavenly Blanc, the bar is strangely empty, as if no one has been there to tend it for the week. That sight might have been worrying enough for Turing, but when they arrive to the door of Blue's apartment, there's a clear sound of activity inside..]

[A coughing fit answers Turing's call before Blue can manage actual words out- so instead of the trainer, the one who opens the door is Alakazam, being the only able-bodied resident with hands. Locking eyes with the ROM, Alakazam nods slowly at Turing, as if immediately understanding why they were here, and gestures them inside.] Kazam, alakazam.

[Blue himself is bundled up in his bed, worried Pokémon milling around him, with the wastebin pulled to the side of it. There was a worrying amount of red amassed in the bin.] Turing...! Hey-- [He jolts up with a worrying sway and tries to arrange things with a fluster of embarrassment, his voice ragged and interrupted with another fit of cough.] Some kinda weird flu going around, huh? H-heh, lucky you, you probably don't have to worry about it...!

Edited 2021-02-21 18:36 (UTC)

[Blue has been uncharacteristically introverted for the last week, which might be worrying to just about anyone that knew him- but the cause was obvious, once the mystery illness became further understood.]

[A miserable, grumpy sound answers Raihan's knock from inside the apartment, but it's a few moments of shuffling sounds before the door is answered- not by Blue, but by Alakazam, who is now apparently the receptionist.]

[The Psychic-type locks eyes with Raihan, and in a moment of understanding, nods slowly and turns to wave him inside with a spoon.] Alakazam. [In a manner similar to the leylines, a thought pops into Raihan's mind, although not necessarily with a voice attached to it- You and Master should talk.]

'm not really in the mood for company this time, [Blue complains as Raihan shuffles in, huddled up in blankets like a Swadloon and face flushed with fever. The wastebasket next to his bed was piled in red- moreso even than Raihan had experienced- although a further glance revealed the majority of that red to be not bloodied tissue, but flower petals.] Unless you're gonna go get Gramps to check on me.

[ it's become exceedingly clear to Raihan, especially now that he knows how to cure it. the remedy might not be pleasant, but he isn't about to let this disease fester to an uncontrollable degree - he's ready to tell his story, but he has a feeling it'll resonate more with Blue than anyone else.

he's not entirely unsurprised to see Alakazam answer the door, but gives it a nod in acknowledgement. ] Thanks, mate.

[ Pokémon always seemed to be able to read the writing on the wall before humans could.

with his hoodie up over his head, he steps into the room to look Blue up and down. he's sure that both of them look pitiful in their own ways - the dark circles and subtle darkness following Raihan's body prove that he hasn't gotten much sleep the in the past few nights. ]

I don't think you're gonna want to talk to your grandpa about why I'm here. [ he holds out the glass bottle in his hand, with a blue, icy liquid inside of it. when he extends his arm, Blue will see a blooming pink camellia sprouting from his inner wrist. ] Here. It helps break the fever.

[ once his offering is taken, he slumps into the chair next to his desk. his eyes are draw to the red popping from the wastebasket, prompting a sigh with a small, wry smile. before he bares his heart out, he at least wants to see if Blue has sussed out what's going on for himself. ]

You're a sharp guy. What's your theory about all of this?

[For Alakazam in particular, it was hard to miss it- the apartments were practically festering in negative emotions and thoughts dredged up by the illness that's spread across it, borne not viraly, but internally. But he knows his trainer's avoidance all too well; Blue wasn't the type who was going to look his problems in the eye unless he absolutely had to.]

[In that sense, he was thankful the other human had arrived. Finally, someone could drag some sense out of his trainer.]

[The Pokémon sits in his spot by the door, spinning his spoons idly as Raihan settles in to chat with Blue. The bottle is taken with a skeptical loft of a brow, although he has to admit the cool touch of it is already pleasant...] What's this...? Smells like Berry Juice. [He gives a small whiff before tucking it against his pillow for later. Maybe he'll sneak a splash of liquor into it.] Why, you asking me out on a date? [He responds snidely, voice tinged with exhaustion. Anyone could see they were both in rough shape, but Blue is deflecting, at least a little.] Sorry, dragon boy, but you gotta at least impress me in a battle 'fore I put out.

[Way easier to be flippant than admit anything he's been thinking about, lately.] I think this place sucks. What, came to rub it in?

[ Turing was caught a bit off-guard when Alakazam opened the door; they knew enough to recognize that Alakazam was one of Blue's Pokemon, but not enough to know why their arrival seemed to be almost expected. Though, that wasn't really important now, was it? They offered some polite words of thanks for being let in, and they were immediately greeted by something somewhat familiar, but also contradictory.

It was nice that Blue was trying so hard to reassure them and all. Really, that effort didn't go unappreciated. Still, despite those carefree words, at the very least the fretting Pokemon told them that whatever this was, it wasn't nothing. There was a bit of a pout on Turing's face as they only just held back some grade-A scolding, but then they saw the red contents of the wastebin as they approached.

No.

No no no.

Blue couldn't die, he couldn't, they didn't want to lose another friend, whether it was to the Void itself and its whims or illness-- ]

You should be resting! I-If you're worried about cleaning, I can do that for you! I don't mind!

[ That panicked answer was what resulted after Turing tried to calm themselves down. ]

It is, sort of... They're not quite Oran Berries, but it's close enough. Blended 'em at the bar.

[ the only reason he had enough energy to come over here was because he had some himself earlier, but he knows it's a temporary reprieve at best - the fever and exhaustion always seem to come back, no matter how much rest he gets. Blue's comment, however, gets a smirk from him. ]

I didn't come here to flirt, believe it or not. [ and for Raihan, that means something is very wrong. ] What's there to rub in? We're in the same boat.

[ his hands stuff into his hoodie pockets, hesitating for a moment. he'd come here thinking this would be easy, but actually trying to gather his thoughts together is proving to be more complicated than he thought. ]

I meant what's causing it. You know. [ he points a thumb over at his wastebasket. ] I'm gonna tell you anyway, but I want to know what you think.

Edited 2021-02-21 20:44 (UTC)

[Even if he's normally accustomed to sensing these kinds of things, there's something different about it when he's gotten used to talking to people like Blue without having fully heard them before. It makes it that much more overwhelming, and it's a moment before he responds, lowering his head and hunching in on himself (and his pink friend) as if in pain.]

[Which, in some way he is, but it's not his pain. Everyone knows? His voice trembles slightly with the weight of Blue's feelings.]

I didn't know. You didn't say anything, not to me. You don't have to hide from me.

[Sorry about your weak deflection attempts.]

Huh...?

[Blue stops in his tracks, his brow furrowed in confusion. Without context, it's not immediately obvious to him what Cole is responding to; but then again, considering the conversations they've had in the past- he can't really say it's a total mystery, right?]

[Reluctantly, Blue drops the obfuscating cheerfulness and rubs a hand at his throat as he suppresses another instinct to cough.]

Okay, man, I get it. Sorry, I wasn't exactly trying to tell anyone, you know? [His eyes glue to the ground as he toes at it, hands sliding into his pockets.] Figure the gossip gets around this place quick, anyways....

H-huh!? Don't worry, I'm okay, really--!

[Blue tries to reassure Turing, but he knows once the ROM has spotted the wastebasket that the Meowth is out of the bag. Nervously, he tries to snatch it up and move it to the other side of the bed, but before he can do so he's dredging up another coughing fit.]

[A fresh glut of blood-red petals comes up with it into his hand, slime and all, which doesn't help calm anyone. Arcanine nervously whines at the side of the bed, Eevee who is on the bed starts whining too, and now the apartment is a cacophony of anxiety!]

[...At least there was one calm-minded individual in the room; Alakazam sighs to himself as Turing immediately panics upon seeing Blue, who in turn panics because Turing is panicking, which in turn sets off all the other Pokémon into an anxious tizzy...] Ala, alakazam, [He raises his voice and tersely addresses everyone in the room, pointing to Blue with a spoon in particular before addressing the other Pokémon.] Kazam. Zam, Alakazam.

...He agrees with you, [Blue pouts like a scolded child, and settles himself back against his pillows to sulk.] That I should be resting, I mean. W-whatever....

...You're not sick too, right? My Pokémon have been taking care of me, but 's been pretty rough. As you can see... [He wipes his hand off onto another tissue and tosses it into the wastebin.] I don't really know what's going on.

Hmm, you better have cleaned up after yourself! [Blue scolds because he can, and because he's still avoiding the main point Raihan is getting at. Still, some fresh Oran was appreciated.... He won't pretend this guy is such a bother.]

[Unscrewing the lid a little after second thoughts, he starts to nurse the drink, but not before tossing Raihan a nasty, exhausted glance over the lip of it, taking his time to sip before he answers.] Same boat, the hell? Speak for yourself. [As if he's wrong.... But whatever, Blue can take his sweet time letting Raihan pull teeth to get it out of him, if he's going to prod about it!]

[After a long pause, mulling over his mouthful of smoothie, he swallows and grumbles out,] ....This's your fault, you know. [He knew that stupid conversation was just tempting fate. It's not so bad, they'd said that time on the mountain, and now look!]

[The chill of the smoothie makes him want to cough a little more, but at least it's soothing the flush of his head so he can think.] I'll give you the getting sick, maybe, but explain the flowers.

[ he doesn't grace that first part with an answer - obviously he cleaned up, Blue is just trying to get a jab in - but that second part makes him cock an eyebrow. ] Oh yeah? How'd you figure?

[ how rude! looks like his peace offering didn't have much bearing on how the conversation is going... maybe he should speed things up a bit. ]

Dunno. [ he shrugs. he said he could explain; he didn't say he could explain well. ] But everyone's coughing up different flowers, and they all mean different things. Guess the void wanted to get creative... but from what I've been told, the common thread is holding back emotions. Get 'em out in the open, and you're cured.

[ he crosses his ankles. he's fidgeting, but he's doing his best to make it look natural. ]

So I'll tell my story if you tell me yours. [ a beat. he's probably going to get chewed out for this, but it has to be done. ] Like I said. Same boat.

[ Turing had no idea what Alakazam was saying, but the meaning was clear: everyone, calm the heck down. It sounded easy, but in practice that sinking feeling stubbornly refused to leave them. For Blue's sake they tried to quash those feelings; it couldn't be good for his recovery if he was in a stressed state of mind. It definitely wasn't good for Eevee and Arcanine either. ]

I'm not! I feel fine, so please don't worry about me.

[ As Blue threw another tissue into the trash their fretful look threatened to return, but they forced their display into behaving. No worrying on the outside allowed, they reminded themselves. Unfortunately, they didn't know that how dangerous it was to do just that right then. ]

I...I wish I had answers for you, but I'm afraid I don't know much about this mysterious illness either. Is there anything else I can do to help your Pokemon take care of you in the meantime?

[ Maybe fetching some water, or a warm drink, or food, or anything, really. They didn't want to just be standing there uselessly, that was for sure. Turing took a quick glance around the room for any sort of clue on what they could do to help. ]

[Maybe if Cole learned how to gossip, he would have a much easier time sticking his nose into everyone's business. But as it is, he doesn't need to ask anymore. Or at least, he can ask more pointed questions.]

You keep thinking about him. Red. Laden with longing, but left behind... you feel bad that I noticed, but it's hurting you. Why would you hide it?

[It's probably pretty clear what's happening by now, in case Blue still had any doubts.]

[Making a face at the spot-on description of his emotional state, Blue bites his lips- to hold back saying something mean, more than anything. It's not the first time he's been called out like this, of course.... Nor is it the first time he's had a Psychic go peeking to see what was going on with him.]

[Though at least she had some context.]

Listen, you shouldn't just listen in on people whenever you want, [Blue scolds avoidantly, glancing away. He fidgets, but he's trying to come up with an answer.] ...It's not something that's easy to talk about, so why would I?

Nobody here knows our history, anyway.

It's too loud not to listen. Everything is, it's- freshly changed, forced in and through, churning all together til it flows over.

[He takes a moment to focus on the "nug" in his arms, and the much calmer not-thoughts and simple contentment it provides.]

You feel so lonely. But you don't have to be alone. I want to help.

[Good, he's learning.] I figure cuz I warned you about it in the first place, [He complains, gesturing with an arm outward, perhaps towards the ley lines.] This is even worse than an eclipse!!

[He brings his hand back to his mouth again, attempting to suppress a cough, as Raihan gives his own explanation. He doesn't look happy about it, but not surprised, either- and he levels a calculating, mistrustful look at Raihan, narrowed eyes and silence for a long moment as he takes his time coughing and sputtering.]

[The same, huh. Sure, they both knew well enough about that already. But Blue was sure there was a lot to the story of him and Red that Raihan had no clue about, unless Lance had been gossiping too much, and he wonders if things are really as similar as Raihan seems to think they are.]

[He doubts it. But he'll give some benefit of the doubt. Holding it in to be so picky was lonely.]

....I don't really know much about your Champ, you know, I told you, [He finally replies, and his words are slow and measured.] You know plenty 'nough about Red, so why don't you start us off?

Well, that's good, [Blue tries to crack a smile, and a sigh of relief. If Turing was all messed up by this, he'd be pretty upset about it!]

[Blissfully unaware of their own suppression, Blue lets out a tiny sigh of his own as he gathers some blankets back up to his lap, awkwardly thinking of something to say. What Turing could do?]

[--Actually, there were things his Pokémon couldn't do; he nods towards the stove in the kitchenette area, looking a little sheepish and pathetic about it.] Um, actually... Well, I'm the breadwinner in this family, [He chuckles self-deprecatingly, easing his guilty-looking Pokémon.] Uh, I guess the bread-cooker too. What I mean it, I haven't been feeling up to cooking lately, so we've been eating kinda lamely the last couple days. Think you could grab us some food to stock up?

[From the Wallmarket he thinks, or even some of the snacks he had saved up at the bar; he just couldn't make the trip in the condition he was in, and although he'd sent his Pokémon on errands to fetch things in the meantime, it was hard for them to do so.]

[You know. No thumbs.]

Uh, it doesn't have to be now, though... Maybe just tea is good for now. I'm happy y'came to see me!

[Blue has absolutely no idea what any of that means, but he's struggling to try! Changed? Forced? Flows over? Sounds more like water than sounds to him, and he ponders what Cole could mean before he gets... more specific.]

[Frown. Oh.]

--It's. [Ugh, how does he put this? It wasn't anything Cole could help... He couldn't bring Red back. And nothing could replace Red.]

[He glances away again.] I appreciate it, but it's not something that's easy to fix.

I mean, not unless he comes back, anyway. I waited a long time already.

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[closed] I don't believe in much but I believe in you

For Cole- start of event

For Turing- pls baby the baby

For Raihan- rivalboy codependency

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baby is here to baby the baby

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weeehh

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