tabularasa_rp | (open) where have you been? been searching all along 𝅘𝅥𝅮

You think someone's adding this stuff on purpose?

[Blue stops, and blinks at Ren. If so, then he couldn't imagine it was a legendary Pokémon; they probably wouldn't have enough of a concept of human civilization to do something like that.]

[Eevee hops up on the counter next to Ren, rather than his lap. No offense, Ren, but he's no lapdog! ...Unless you're a cute girl, or Blue. He'll totally take some sushi, though, please and thank you.]

[Blue cracks the first beer open and brings it to his lips, glancing to Ren as he stares. Ah, of course any schoolkid would be curious....] Mmmm... [He glances to the beer, thinking on it.] It's easy to drink. I prefer mixed drinks, usually-- if I'm drinkin'-drinkin'-- but if it's just to wash down with food, or if there's nothing else, a beer is fine.

[Blue pushes the other one towards him.] You wanna try it? One beer's basically water, tch, even a kid like you should be able to handle it fine.

I don't think it's impossible.

(Considering what he went through, that is. But when looking at it, there's really nothing to back up his claim, they just have to wait and keep digging until something worth challenging comes into light.

What's 'drinking drinking'? Is there a difference between just drinking... Ohya, the very much booze loving journalist who gave him intel comes to mind. Maybe that's the state he means?

Ren takes the can into his hands, staring at it for a few seconds... There's no law, not much to do and it would be quite a lie if he said he wasn't curious about how alcohol impairs you. Would he still be able to fight? Finally, he makes the decision and opens it. If anything, they can move somewhere safe where Ren doesn't have to worry about those things.)

Fine, let's see.

(The bitter taste brings a face to Ren's expression, but... It wasn't so bad?)

[Blue doesn't really like that idea, he thinks. He thinks he likes better the organic, natural concept of the world populating itself with what it thought they need. It felt nurturing in a way deliberate control didn't- that felt a little nefarious. A little human.]

[When Blue went off to school on his own, he was suddenly thrust into a world he hadn't realized he'd been missing. 'Normal' socialization, getting along with your schoolmates, navigating teen social circles and the norms and exploration of growing up........ It had all been a torrid affair he tried not to look back on too much, but all in all, he thinks it had been pretty normal, and he thinks less strange of it than he does all his life up to that point.]

[Highschool kids tried stuff out. That was just the way it was, right?]

[He laughs a little at the face Ren makes, and gives him a soft, backhand smack on the upper arm.] The first taste is weird, right? But you get used to it.

(To be fair, Ren isn't fond of this. The lack of sleep, the overpowering hunger, the ever-growing boredom that is taking over him, the fact that it is so rampant that it forces him to deal with things he much rather not to, which comes right with the fact that he is much required back in his home reality.

It isn't all bad, though. Had it not been for the Void, he wouldn't have met Blue and everyone else he now considers friends. He grins at the thought, but it was quickly broken by Blue's slap. His own laugh followed Blue's and he shrugged a little. His cat would absolutely kill him right now...!

It's with boldness that he gulps next, shaking his head to halt the goosebump the taste brought.)

I've worked at a bar before, but same Heavenly Blanc rules.

(No shit this is his first drink. Nobody is surprised.)

The heck do they got kids working at a bar for if they can't even have the fun of it? How lame!

[Blue laughs it off, and takes another sip of his own drink. The food was surprisingly delicious for ...random food that had appeared out of nowhere in the void, in the basement of a cave, with no one around to cook it! Blue just hopes it doesn't end up being a weird illusion caused by a trickster Pokémon.]

How's things going, anyway? I almost never see you outside the bar these days, but I guess even you wanna eat somewhere else sometimes, huh?

( If anything, Crossroads paid very well and it opened several doors for him to improve certain parts of himself through conversations with patrons. Drinking for Ren wasn't an option back home, not only his cat would disapprove (?) but also, the last thing he needed was issues with law-enforcement, should he be caught. Finally, it just wasn't something that crossed his mind too often?

Here, it is a different story. No probation and a dragging boredom and a never-ending curiosity in the way things work. Can they really get drunk or is it truly subjective? How impared would he turn out to be? Won't have answers if he doesn't try it, right?)

Everything's fine. (Nope, but there's no change in Ren to bring out suspicion, anyway.)

It's important to keep busy here. There's a lot going on and nothing at the same time.

(That being said, he takes another sip. He should be halfway through the can as of now, still not exactly feeling it - or recognizing it.)

Edited 2020-08-31 17:33 (UTC)

...Yeah, [Blue agrees thoughtfully, fidgeting with his drink. It felt like everything was one long, dream-like series of events, with no sleep, no days and nights, no knowing how the time was passing or how long they'd been here. Anyone would start to get uneasy, and try to occupy themselves to take their mind off it.]

[Blue feels surprised he hasn't broken down a little more, just by virtue of his own crappy brain running circles around itself. But somehow, maybe all the mysteries of this place had kept it busy, even when he had no Pokémon or other pasttimes to occupy it.]

Heh, a drink now and then sure helps, though! [He tilts his towards Ren, like a little 'cheers!', and sips. Uh, Blue maybe had one a little more than 'now and then'.]

...Speaking of a lot goin' on, how's things with Akechi-kun, huh? [Blue elbows Ren playfully, grin brimming wider.] He's kinda the hot-and-cold type, huh? Heheh. I get that a lot, too. So that's your type.....

Too bad you're just a schoolkid, though...

[.....There's a lot to unpack here, but, also a lot of assumptions... Blue sips his drink again, an oblivious agent of chaos.]

(With one of his hands currently too busy petting Eevee and giving it the softest pets behind the ear while the other held the beer in place, fit on his kneecap, Ren took a moment to think. One problem at a time, as per usual... The most immediate concern is escaping the void, surely... But there aren't any clues that point to that even being possible.

And then Blue speaks the second Ren was about to take another gulp.

Look! Another very important and rather unescapable issue he has to deal with. The beer gets stuck in his throat and all the muscles in his body freeze before he made an effort to down it, a series of coughs following.)

I beg your pardon?

(The question comes in a hoarse voice, as he attempts to breathe again after this near death occasion. Time to grab another can and down at least a third of it before Blue explains the very obvious.)

[Blue watches Ren choke and cough on his sip with an impassive expression of knowing amusement, and waits for an answer..........]

[But it doesn't come. Instead, now Ren is trying to drown himself. Yikes, now there's an answer.]

Hey... slow down, kiddo, [Blue nervously laughs, reaching for the can to stop Ren from suddenly drinking himself into a stupor- as relatable as that was.] Sheesh, sorry, sorry for asking!

That bad, huh? [Blue pulls the can away from him and sets it on his other side, Eevee hopping up with a pitying sound as he watches Ren gasp for air. Great, another human kid trying to drink himself to death on his watch.] Don't worry, you can tell big bro Blue~ So, start at the beginning, what happened?

(Well, if he didn't feel it before he definitely feels it now, that the panic that installed in his brain made everything a little clearer. Ren's definitely a bit more dizzy than he antecipated earlier and there was quite the delay in seeing Blue's hand reaching for his beer, something that he would have seen miles away...

There's no way he's weak in alcohol tolerance, right? He must have drank it wrong. Or the void tampered with it. It's fine. This is fine.)

Huh?

(At the beginning? Like, as in when Akechi outed himself as a Metaverse user and they had to do a dance of lies for months? Or the beginning of where they are now, dealing with things that were buried and repressed for who knows how long? Or the beginning of the mess Ren put them, when he just lost his patience and kissed the one person who attempted to kill him twice?

Or even, the beginning of Ren's current crisis - not knowing what goes inside Akechi's head.

Ren sighs, not even able to formulate an answer for the time being. Should just let him have the beer, Blue.)

It's just very complicated. You and Red are rivals, are you not? You can categorize us under that as well.

[Oops. It hit him, huh? Blue puts a steadying hand on Ren's shoulder as he sways, chuckling quietly as he watches the kid adjust to his first experience with drunkenness.]

[Sheesh, he should probably keep an eye on him for a little while, after this....]

[Luckily, he's very patient with Ren's response time. Obviously, things were... complicated. And no better is that proven than by Ren's response when it does come.]

[Blue makes a face, sort of like he's been personally attacked, but he manages to keep it mostly subtle.]

Ah.......... So it is like that, huh.

[Well then. If he knows what he's working with....... Ren had reminded him of Red, in various ways... He didn't really know Akechi like that, but if he looked at it in a certain lens- if Ren himself was telling him that he and Akechi were like that, then certain things also become clearer. Behaviors. Motivations.]

[The way Akechi scoffed, the way he responded when Blue asked about Ren (or, you know, called him his boyfriend). The denial. In a way, he could see his younger self, in that.... refusing to see what was really going on, wrapped up in all those twisted little feelings.]

[Blue leans back in his seat and hums loudly in thought.] A long time ago, I would have rather faced a whole laundry list of other problems before I'd admit I cared about Red anymore...... Ah, well. But, kids are like that, huh? It's hard to have any perspective in the moment. You get all wrapped up in what you're feeling, when you can't see any bigger picture.

[Blue stares up at the lanterns and lights strung around Wall Market, a pensive expression on his face.] Let's forget about what he might feel, at the moment. What about you?

Wait.

(Loading, loading. Loading?? Goddamnit, alcohol makes him so slow, he notices. The one bit that called his attention - "I cared about Red"?

Ren squints for a second and while he's not consciously doing it, it is a clear opportunity to flip the conversation. Give his brain more time to process whatever it is that he would like to share, if anything at all. He's not great at talking, much less about his feelings.)

Do you like Red?

Nice try, [Blue grins, a little playfully. Obviously, his senses weren't dulled enough.]

[He leans forward, chin in hand on the counter.]

That's a story for another time. We're talking about you and Akechi-kun.

Right? We can't make guesses about someone else..... That's a waste of time. [So Blue has learned. You know. That's why he wants to know so badly....] So let's think about it from what we do know.

...And maybe I'll tell you some of what you wanna hear. After.

(Seriously, Blue? Blue, seriously?

He's greeted with such a glare, mostly because Ren wants to know now. Curiosity killed the cat and there's not much Ren can do aside bite at this point.)

Fine.

(As if Ren's voice wasn't low-toned enough, it comes out almost thundering with how much he hates that he couldn't switch the subject back.)

... What exactly do you want to know?

(Navigate him, Blue, he has no clue where to start when talking about these things. "Your feelings" is too vague!)

[Blue, smugly, knows exactly what bait he's tossing here..... It's irresistible, isn't it? Huh, Ren?]

[That's what you get for being a cat person.]

Oooh, spicy. [Blue's brows waggle. That was interesting.... He hasn't seen Ren get quite so... competitive like that, before. He sees what Akechi likes, for sure.]

Well? Do you like him, or not? I'm assuming that's a big fat 'yes', but... [Being rivals alone doesn't make it quite so..... messy. There's always something else.] What kind of 'complications'? Bad blood, or something?

(As per always, Ren just thinks Blue is joking, even more so thanks to the buzz. Sorry, too dumb!)

Wouldn't have kissed him if I didn't.

(Maybe that piece of information can redirect the conversation from the why they're complicated. No amount of alcohol in the world could make him talk about the reasons why this is such a problem...)

Edited 2020-09-06 04:30 (UTC)

[Let him. It's for the best. Especially because--]

Oh!

[Blue slaps Ren on the back, hard, and jovial, grinning widely as he sits up again.]

Congrats, Ren-chan, you Rockruff you! ...Well, everyone starts somewhere, right? Even if you've only had your first kiss when you're almost outta highschool.

[It's. fine. What is Blue saying here? Probably best not to ask. As for redirection, it isn't quite going to work.... But--]

And? Did he kiss back and accept your confession? [Cuz, you know, he's assuming a kiss is about as good as a confession of interest, right!? It only makes sense!]

... Blue. I'm from a small country town in a very conservative country. It's really not that bad.

(That and well. He was very busy REFORMING SOCIETY. There were much more important things at stake than that!!

Thank God for alcohol, because if it weren't for that, Ren would not even have given that piece of information to begin with.)

He kissed me back, shoved me and said he was not interested.

Sure, sure. [Dismissively, waving his hand- ah, but that..... sounds about right. Not a great reaction, but....] So he's that type after all...

[Blue chuckles, chin back to leaning in his hand.]

It gets me kinda nostalgic, almost! I probably woulda done the same thing, back then. The push and pull of what you want, versus what you think you should want.....

It's real vexing.

[Blue sighs.] ....You wanted to know some stuff, right? Me and Red grew up together, since we were babies, basically. Ah, but things weren't always rosy, even though we were pretty inseparable as little kids....

[His mouth twists, and his expression becomes something else, less joking and easygoing like usual, and more... exhausted, somehow.]

When you start getting to that age when you're in a hurry to grow up, nothing seems simple anymore, right? Ah, well maybe not for everyone. I bet you weren't the type to wanna look all impressive and stuff.

No. I didn't have many issues like that un--... (Until he put himself between that awful, rotten man and the woman he had been drunkenly harrassing. Up until that point, Ren had been fine, life was normal. After that? The weight of mistrust, responsibility and wrath fell upon his shoulders, dragging him to his awakening and even after then. One could argue Ren is not in a rush to grow up at all, seen how long the Shitty Adults In His Life list was.

This is irrelevant though, because Ren is not sharing this either. It's nervewrecking enough to talk about Akechi, imagine adding his probation to the list of things. Well, he stopped himself, so who's winning now, alcohol?)

What does that have to do with Red-san?

(And then, after a silence...)

Does he know you like him?

Yeah, I figured as much. [Blue grins slightly, from behind the lip of his drink.] You probably just went along at your own pace...

[The type to gather others, instead; leading just by existing. Blue gets that kind of personality, but Red wasn't quite the same. People were drawn to him, and others liked him, even if he had a hard time dealing with them- he had no interest in that sort of thing.]

[It certainly was far from a 1:1 comparison, but.... Suffice to say, Blue had noted certain personality quirks.]

[Speaking of.]

What does it have to do with him? [Blue lofts an eyebrow, sipping his drink again. Sheesh, Ren; he's not as tipsy as you are on one beer. You ain't catching him in this net.] We're here to talk about you, and this little meltdown you're having. Me? I'm peachy-keen.

[Blue's eyes roll up as he takes a few more gulps, and sets his beer back down.] We grew up childhood friends....... Of course I care 'bout him. It's complicated, when you know someone that long. Worse when things haven't always been that great.

How long've you known Akechi-kun?

(That's his question, what does the whole growing up talk and the need to do it fast has to do with Red and Blue at all? Ren reaches for his beer, the one that Blue had taken. By the time he gives it a sip, he remembers how bitter it tastes... Ugh.

The word 'meltdown' is taken with a glare by Ren, because it wasn't one until Blue brought up the subject, or at least it's what he's decided, even if it's a lie almost the size of the Void itself.

Blue's words, however, trigger a little peak of interest in Ren's features, visible by the eyebrows that went gently up and the catlike curiosity that comes out of it again. )

Things not being always great is expected, isn't it?

(It's not bait for information, but instead, a genuine comment. Isn't that part of life? Things are inherently imperfect, even the things worth experiencing.)

Since June. It's supposedly January.

(Although so much had happened within those months that it's impossible to not feel like it's so much longer...

Finally, a deal is a deal and Blue had followed through, albeit not as much as Ren would like. He owes the same cortesy, so he circles back to the question as to why is it so complicated. At least now he had time to put together something that doesn't really involve murder, betrayal and death...)

A lot happened. We hurt each other a few times really badly and there's still a lot of unresolved arguments and issues.

(While Ren obviously drew the short end of the stick, he realizes that he too emotionally stabbed Akechi several times, even if a good amount wasn't his choice whatsoever. Not only did Ren lie to him for several months, pretending not to know about his nature as a Metaverse user, but he hurt his pride by defeating him, had the revenge he so desired and unlike the other, had way too many tools promptly given to him to make that happen. God's favorite, so to say.

It's not the same as getting shot in the head, but alas. It's not great either.)

[Impulsively, Blue almost reaches to snatch the beer out of Ren's reach again, but... fine, he'll allow this one indulgence!! But he's monitoring you, child; if you get any sloppier, you're done.]

[He knows damn well this 'meltdown' of his would have been had, now or later, eventually; if he's bottling all this up there's only one way for it to go. Alcohol was funny like that; it sort of unplugged all of that, and eased the memory of you letting go, so you couldn't remember it too badly.]

[...Not that it erased the consequences.]

Hmmm. Yeah.

[Blue agrees mildly, but instead he listens to Ren's reply. Only half a year? ...Blue supposes for a teen romance, though, that's probably pretty standard. He thinks back to some of the boyhood flings he'd had, a fresh youngster at boarding school with little supervision and a lot of new feelings to dole out. Feelings came quickly, and left just as fleetingly.... It was like he said- at the time, everything feels so much more important, so much more pressing.]

Gee, sounds rough... [He isn't trying to be patronizing; it's hard to know how much of an understatement that is, and it's hard to know how similar it is to his own experience. But that's why he doesn't really ask further; specifics get real messy, don't they? It's always a long story.]

[Blue drains his drink, and flicks the empty can back.]

Well, here's what I'd say. At least you guys have talked about it a little bit, right? You must've, if you got that far. [His grin returns, elbowing him gently.] Don't feel like it's all gotta come out and be resolved at once......... Even if it's bit by bit and you ignore some pretty heavy stuff for a while, if even one of you isn't ready, then it's probably not worth it.

What's important is at least you know there's something to work towards, huh?

We have.

(Not that Akechi seems to listen any of it. Surely Blue doesn't know the extent of just how they've hurt each other, and if it's up to Ren, he will continue in the dark. There is too much trauma surrounding them and perhaps Akechi's non-forgiving of himself is part of the reluctance, but at the same time? Ren is growing tired of the past dragging them down. They have an opportunity to do things right this time, don't they? Blue has a point that Ren can't help but to agree with... Even if Akechi clearly has his reservations. Points for Blue!)

We talked about our current situation too. (He's buzzed enough not to be annoyed, but instead, he's rolling his eyes in clear playful manner at the elbowing.) He told me he'd think about it and left.

(Ren sighs, taking a sip of his beer and scrunching his nose at the taste.)

Now, it's like it barely happened.

Edited 2020-09-07 20:07 (UTC)

Hmmmm.

[Blue just muses quietly, arms crossed on the countertop. He pops a snack into his mouth, munching quietly, thoughtfully.]

I don't think so. If he said he's thinkin' about it, he's probably thinking about it. Akechi-kun must not be the type to make a rush decision in that case, huh?

What's the hurry? You're both young.

[....He really hates feeling like suddenly, he knows what that guy might be thinking, from what Ren has said.... What a stick in the mud type. He doesn't like the comparison!]

[But Blue is also under no real illusions about his own tendencies to muse and pour over something internally, carefully, before making any kind of move.....]

Anyway, this place... Who knows what could happen? Me? I'm just taking it as it comes, cuz I got no frolicking idea what's going on.

[He pops another handful of edamame in his mouth.]

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p5 spoilers!

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icon chose to perfection

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p5 spoilers

Re: p5 spoilers

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