open: funemployment

[forceofnature]

Who: Viridi and lowly peons
What: November activities
Where: See inside!
When: November. Probably.
Content Warnings: None to start

[prelude: messiah station square (feel free to reply to this, too)]

[A small girl stands in front of the job listings and rifles through them with a disgruntled expression.]

'Merlaut Apartments: Security officer requested. Keep all intruders safely indoors'?
'Chicago L Station: Seeking train director. Direct a train in a play'?
'Wall Market Bathhouse: Attendant needed. Wash ten faces in the bathhouse water'?

These are ridiculous! And demeaning! Who would even want to do any of these pointless tasks; some kind of spineless moron, I'll tell you wh --

Comments

[forceofnature]

What?! This is a masterpiece! Where's your appreciation for the arts?!

[She totally refuses it.]

The last thing you said to me was that you owed me! ...Or the third to last thing, whatever.

It will take five minutes.

[bluecastleace]

[He glares.]

I am not blushing and saying—- [Nope. He can’t even—-] that.

[What cruel retribution is this, and for what? Calling her a mean name (a really mean name, but still)? Not what he had in mind.]

What kinda dialogue is that anyway? I’ll get you a milkshake or something, you little—-

Virdi.

[forceofnature]

[a frosty glare]

Genius is never appreciated in its time!

A thousand milkshakes couldn't begin to heal the deep wounds you've inflicted on my maiden's heart. Now you wound me further!

[might be laying it on a bit thick]

[bluecastleace]

[A bit thick, yeah.]

Why are you doing this? [He gestures to Train-kun, papers in hand.]

[forceofnature]

My maiden's heart!

[...]

It's a job! One of those useless pointless tasks posted in that underground shrine to capitalism.

[bluecastleace]

If it’s useless and pointless, then why are you doing it?

[To punish him?]

[forceofnature]

[Oops.]

No reason!

[...]

Train decoration is my secret passion!

[the lie is probably more embarrassing than the truth but it's too late that's what came out of her mouth she's sticking with it]

What do you have against saying real words that real people say in real situations?!

[iyaaaaaaaaaaan]

[bluecastleace]

Real situations like dating a train?

[forceofnature]

Don't listen to him, Train-kun!

[Viridi cries out in mock dismay.]

Your emotional and spiritual needs are no less valid than a human's!

Fine, you can play Train-kun's emotionally unavailable father who disapproves of all his life decisions.

Just stand there and hold that face.

[bluecastleace]

[Well, that’s probably what he was going to do anyway, and he did say he’d make shit up to her, so he...does - but he won’t all day!]

Go on and get it over with then.

[forceofnature]

Your cooperation serves an important cause.

[Viridi snatches the script out of his hand, rifles through a few pages and returns it to an earmarked page titled ACT 2 SCENE 6: THE BREAKING POINT]

Speak when I cue you.

[She imperiously waves him over closer to Train-kun, then clears her throat a few times.]

And now, his dream train job stolen from underneath him by the nefarious and undeserving Caboose-chan, Train-kun slinks home in shame and disappointment to throw himself upon the mercy of his parents, whom we last saw after an argument in which they forbade him to leave home.

Scene open on Daddy-train-kun in the kitchen.

[...]

I said, scene open on Daddy-train-kun in the kitchen.

[bluecastleace]

[Iwaizumi gestures to himself in exasperation.]

What? I’m standing here like you told me too.

[He even looks grumpier now! And he did technically speak. See? He’s doing it!]

[forceofnature]

Read your line!

[She stage-whispers under her breath.]

There's only, like, five.

[The first one is innocuous enough. [disapprovingly: Welcome home, Train-kun]]

[bluecastleace]

[He sighs, mumbles so quietly it’s difficult to hear, even in the echoey, nearly empty station.]

Welcome home, Train-kun.

[At least he sounds disapproving?]

[forceofnature]

More feeling!

His words echo in the empty trainyard. A chill settles over Train-kun's steely heart. He feels cold, so much more than that one winter he was trapped in Siberia.

[She reaches up and paints sad eyebrows on Train-kun.]

His father speaks again.

[[with little emotion:] You know your mother has passed. Dead from a broken engine.]

I am screaming omg

[bluecastleace]

[It’s hard to keep a straight face when Iwa reads the next line, mostly because he’s shocked into very nearly laughing. Dead from a broken engine? How dark is that—- ridiculous, he means. Completely ridiculous.

[His lips contort trying to hold back laughter as he attempts to recite the line without snickering.]

Your mother has—- pffft... passed.

[He clears his throat.]

Ahem.

Dead from a broken...[No, he can’t do it. He’s laughing.]...e-engine—- hahahahaha.

if youre not gonna take this seriously youre not gonna be part of the oscar acceptance speech

[forceofnature]

[Viridi glares until Iwa has recovered himself from his giggle fit. It clearly states "with little emotion" what's so hard about that.]

A-hem.

Overcome with emotion that manifests itself as stilted laughter, Daddy-Train-kun finishes his pronouncement with a dour glare. Train-kun can hardly believe his communication pipes.

How could he not have known?

How could he have been so foolish?

His dreams are gone, and so, too, his family. His mother, dead. Railcar-chan, lost to him. Maglev-senpai, reassigned to the coal run for helping him.

All he has left is his father. All he has... An old car, broken and crushed by the years. An old car who has never shown him an ounce of mercy.

[[In a surprising twist, Daddy-Train-kun reaches forward.

He hugs Train-kun.]

[bluecastleace]

[...]

You want me to hug the train?

[Why is this slightly moving though? Definitely not a thought that just crossed his mind.]

[forceofnature]

Do it!

[They're so close to the denouement!]

Hug the train!

[bluecastleace]

I’ll fall onto the tracks.

[forceofnature]

You're breaking the immersion! Just hug the side - the part where people get on!

[Arms out nice and wide, please.]

[bluecastleace]

[He groans, glares, very quickly steps to the side and puts an arm up against the train, then moves away before anyone (hopefully) can see - not unlike an emotionally stunted father, really.]

[forceofnature]

Yes!

Their front grills touch as the father leans in and throws himself across his son. The tears flow with abandon!

Stunned, Train-kun is paralyzed for many long seconds. ...Long seconds. A very long time when the hug continues to happen. What is this...? What is this... feeling stirring inside his hydraulics...?

He doesn't know... he doesn't know...

[...]

Aaaaaaaaand... curtain!

[Viridi performs an elaborate bow.]

Aren't you glad you did that? Wasn't that the most emotionally stirring thing you've ever been a part of?!

You could cry a little. I mean, you were supposed to cry there at the end.

[A disapproving stare.]

[bluecastleace]

I’m inconsolable, I assure you.

Are we done here?

[forceofnature]

No.

[Viridi dances forward and snags the script from him once again.]

Daddy-Train-kun shows up in the final scene, t --

[Before she can finish the sentence that's liable to strike fear into the heart of Iwa, there is a vague shimmering around her before a large bouquet of baby's breath and violets appears in her arms.]

Oh!

I guess that counted! Huh! That's too bad; I wanted to finish.