open: funemployment

[forceofnature]

Who: Viridi and lowly peons
What: November activities
Where: See inside!
When: November. Probably.
Content Warnings: None to start

[prelude: messiah station square (feel free to reply to this, too)]

[A small girl stands in front of the job listings and rifles through them with a disgruntled expression.]

'Merlaut Apartments: Security officer requested. Keep all intruders safely indoors'?
'Chicago L Station: Seeking train director. Direct a train in a play'?
'Wall Market Bathhouse: Attendant needed. Wash ten faces in the bathhouse water'?

These are ridiculous! And demeaning! Who would even want to do any of these pointless tasks; some kind of spineless moron, I'll tell you wh --

Comments

1: wall market bathhouse

[forceofnature]

You!

[Viridi marches up to anybody currently in the bathing area with a large sponge and a bucket of steaming water.]

Hold still.

This is a specialty service given only to the uh, most... beautiful customers. Yeah, let's go with that. We're calling it the Divine Goddess Luxury Spa Treatment. Close your eyes. And keep your mouth closed.

[Whatever is happening here, it seems completely above board and not at all questionable! You should just listen to whatever this child tells you to do.]

2: merlaut apartments

[forceofnature]

Alright, who wants a nice, comfortable lobby to sleep in? The more, the merrier! Paintbrush-monkey, get us some more pictures on the walls! Flying giraffe! An ideal addition! What's that I see over there? An adorable hopping fi --

[The adorable hopping fish latches its mouth onto the butt of the flying giraffe, which causes it to go careening into a wall inside the apartment. Viridi screams (a little bit).

The front lobby of the apartments is pandemonium by this point, as the girl has rounded up every random non-human creature she could find and shoved them into the building. The intruders mill about uncertainly and confusedly -- and a little aggressively.

Actual occupants of the building might not be too pleased with this. Especially if they get too close to the hopping fish.]

Oh -- I'd go out another way. The fish thing bites. ...Actually, I think a lot of them bite.

3: chicago l station

[forceofnature]

...Well, this is the best I've got.

[Viridi places both hands on her hips and stares at her greatest masterpiece. It's the train. ...Decorated with painted anime eyes, blush stickers, and a little sign that says 'Train-kun'. Thomas would be jealous. Fortunately, it's nice and stormless at the moment, which means there's no chance of this abomination running off too quickly.]

Aaaaaaaalright. Now I just need one more sucker and --

[There's one right there! Viridi interrupts whoever's within 100 feet of this place and grabs onto their arm/limb/suitable anatomical structure.]

You - come here. Read this for me.

4: unforeseen simulation joint

[forceofnature]

Worth it.

[The small girl rolls around (carefully) in her freshly planted garden, having completed an actual dozen ridiculous tasks that had literally no meaning apart from the fact that the reward listed was TEN CAMELLIA SPROUTS or TULIP BULBS or A DOZEN FRESH ROSES.

Will they grow? Probably not! Does she know this? Also probably not!

It's fine, though, let her have this for a few hours.]

Maybe I can't be the Goddess of all Nature, but I can be the goddess of this nature! Aren't I, cutie-pies? Who's your goddess? That's right, it's me!

[She giggles to herself as she finishes putting up a sign that reads, "VIRIDI'S FLOWERS: TOUCH AND DIE". Her garden is carefully offset from the rest of the flower beds filling the Unforeseen Simulation Joint - and frankly, a little sad right now. But it's nice to have something, even if it's all a little pointless.]

Ahh... Finally, something good in this disaster hell.

[She lies down for a well-deserved nap.]