open: funemployment

[forceofnature]

Who: Viridi and lowly peons
What: November activities
Where: See inside!
When: November. Probably.
Content Warnings: None to start

[prelude: messiah station square (feel free to reply to this, too)]

[A small girl stands in front of the job listings and rifles through them with a disgruntled expression.]

'Merlaut Apartments: Security officer requested. Keep all intruders safely indoors'?
'Chicago L Station: Seeking train director. Direct a train in a play'?
'Wall Market Bathhouse: Attendant needed. Wash ten faces in the bathhouse water'?

These are ridiculous! And demeaning! Who would even want to do any of these pointless tasks; some kind of spineless moron, I'll tell you wh --

Comments

3: chicago l station

[forceofnature]

...Well, this is the best I've got.

[Viridi places both hands on her hips and stares at her greatest masterpiece. It's the train. ...Decorated with painted anime eyes, blush stickers, and a little sign that says 'Train-kun'. Thomas would be jealous. Fortunately, it's nice and stormless at the moment, which means there's no chance of this abomination running off too quickly.]

Aaaaaaaalright. Now I just need one more sucker and --

[There's one right there! Viridi interrupts whoever's within 100 feet of this place and grabs onto their arm/limb/suitable anatomical structure.]

You - come here. Read this for me.

[bluecastleace]

[One minute you are wandering one sad excuse for a train station, the next you are being tugged along by some snot-nosed, high-pitched little—-

[Wait, is that—-]

Virdi? [The “goddess”. That was her name, right? His eyes fall on the train next—- Just what the hell is going on there?]

Hey, let go of me. [He tries to tug his arm away.] Read what?

[Eyes back to the train. His expression goes lethally flat.]

You...

Did you do that?

[forceofnature]

No.

[She says, wiping her paint-smeared hands on a rag.]

It came like that. Wacky Void world where anything can happen! Crazy, right?

[If she remembers how they left things last time, she doesn't acknowledge it.]

Here.

[She shoves a stack of paper into his hand that she stole from a store somewhere.]

You're playing the role of Train-kun's lover that he left behind when he set out to fulfill his dream of becoming a trans-continental railroad train.

[bluecastleace]

[How can anyone think of last time when...this time is happening, honestly.

[There’s a long pause.

[Then:]

Excuse me?

[forceofnature]

It's a metacommentary on the conflicts arising in the post-industrial era regarding the individual roles of contributing to society vs. contributing to the family with a deep dive in established gender norms. The Eastern styling adds a layer of irony juxtapositioning traditional beliefs with modern desires manifesting in a late 1900s stylistic choice, the banality of which only serves to underscore the deeper pathos.

[...]

Look, you just have to be able to blush and say 'iyaaaaan' a few times.

[bluecastleace]

[He hands the papers back to her - well, tries to anyway.]

Yeah. You’re nuts. No.

[Who can just blush on command, anyway? He wants to repair the rapport between these two, but not that bad.]

[forceofnature]

What?! This is a masterpiece! Where's your appreciation for the arts?!

[She totally refuses it.]

The last thing you said to me was that you owed me! ...Or the third to last thing, whatever.

It will take five minutes.

[bluecastleace]

[He glares.]

I am not blushing and saying—- [Nope. He can’t even—-] that.

[What cruel retribution is this, and for what? Calling her a mean name (a really mean name, but still)? Not what he had in mind.]

What kinda dialogue is that anyway? I’ll get you a milkshake or something, you little—-

Virdi.

[forceofnature]

[a frosty glare]

Genius is never appreciated in its time!

A thousand milkshakes couldn't begin to heal the deep wounds you've inflicted on my maiden's heart. Now you wound me further!

[might be laying it on a bit thick]

[bluecastleace]

[A bit thick, yeah.]

Why are you doing this? [He gestures to Train-kun, papers in hand.]

[forceofnature]

My maiden's heart!

[...]

It's a job! One of those useless pointless tasks posted in that underground shrine to capitalism.

[bluecastleace]

If it’s useless and pointless, then why are you doing it?

[To punish him?]

[forceofnature]

[Oops.]

No reason!

[...]

Train decoration is my secret passion!

[the lie is probably more embarrassing than the truth but it's too late that's what came out of her mouth she's sticking with it]

What do you have against saying real words that real people say in real situations?!

[iyaaaaaaaaaaan]

[bluecastleace]

Real situations like dating a train?

[forceofnature]

Don't listen to him, Train-kun!

[Viridi cries out in mock dismay.]

Your emotional and spiritual needs are no less valid than a human's!

Fine, you can play Train-kun's emotionally unavailable father who disapproves of all his life decisions.

Just stand there and hold that face.

[bluecastleace]

[Well, that’s probably what he was going to do anyway, and he did say he’d make shit up to her, so he...does - but he won’t all day!]

Go on and get it over with then.

[koopacrusher]

What? No.

[That is all Bowser responds with before he tries to pull his arm free and continue on his way, completely uninterested in whatever Viridi is doing.]

[forceofnature]

But yes!

[Viridi has a low constitution stat. She is easy to push away. Fortunately, Viridi also has high persistence.]

I have no idea what in Pandora's box you are, but I know what you are: perfect for the drama of the century: the secondary starring role!

[koopacrusher]

What I am is a Koopa. And I'm not a Pokémon. [Not that Viridi said he was one, but at this point it's just habit.]

[The promise of a (secondary) starring role is enough to momentarily persuade Bowser to listen. His appearances in some stage plays about Mario's adventures have given him some experience in theater, after all.] Tell me what I'm supposed be reading and I'll consider it.

[forceofnature]

Oh, I was going to ask if you were a Duel Monster.

[she wasn't, but she can never resist a dig]

And this is an improv play. The emotion will flow more genuinely if you don't see the lines before you read them!

[she has learned from previous encounters.]

[koopacrusher]

Funny. [Bowser says, with a glare.]

Well you've gotta give me something if you want me to agree to this. I've gotta know my character.

[forceofnature]

You...!

[Viridi squints then peers at him through a box she makes with her fingers.]

will be perfect for Train-kun's lover. Very dramatic role. Sure to win all the nominations.

[koopacrusher]

[Bowser looks at "Train-kun," then back at Viridi.]

No. Definitely not.

apologies, the notif for this one was eaten!

[forceofnature]

Philistines!

It's the role of a lifetime! When will anyone else in this dump ever offer you anything this good?

You're wasting your potential.

[Viridi thrusts the script forward.]

[koopacrusher]

[Bowser stares in silence, contemplating, then grabs the script.] Fine, whatever. [He then takes a moment to read over his lines.]