tabularasa_rp | open: funemployment

Entry tags:

open: funemployment

Who: Viridi and lowly peons
What: November activities
Where: See inside!
When: November. Probably.
Content Warnings: None to start

[prelude: messiah station square (feel free to reply to this, too)]

[A small girl stands in front of the job listings and rifles through them with a disgruntled expression.]

'Merlaut Apartments: Security officer requested. Keep all intruders safely indoors'?
'Chicago L Station: Seeking train director. Direct a train in a play'?
'Wall Market Bathhouse: Attendant needed. Wash ten faces in the bathhouse water'?

These are ridiculous! And demeaning! Who would even want to do any of these pointless tasks; some kind of spineless moron, I'll tell you wh --

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Intruders!

[She says, proudly.]

We have to keep them from getting outside. Can I count on you to do your part?

[???????]

[???????, indeed]

[he stares at her for a moment, trying to make that make sense. unfortunately, however, he seems to be getting all of no where on that front]

I'm sorry -- what?

[please make this make sense]

We - have - to - keep - them - from - get - ting...

[Viridi repeats what she just said, but slowly with emphasis, the way people rudely do when they meet someone who doesn't speak their language.]

...Oh, do you mean why?

Because I need you to.

You should go make friends with the flying giraffe! It's looking skittish.

Yes, I meant why.

[scowl deepening, he gives her a look that suggests she might be the mentally deficient one. don't insult his intelligence, woman. just don't]

Why do you need them to stay in here?

[he's not touching that giraffe, thanks. he's already crippled. he doesn't need to be moreso, when it inevitably tramples him]

Because I was hired to.

[This probably still explains very little, but Viridi will go over and comfort the giraffe at this point, which is barely fitting inside the first floor.]

Now who wants some, er...

[What's on hand.]

Plastic potted plant? It's you, isn't it?!

[It's cool; food as a concept doesn't exist. The giraffe tentatively eyes the plastic and takes a bite.]

By who?

[he's less concerned with what she's feeding the giraffe, because yeah, he's seen some of the animals around here eat some pretty bizarre things and be fine. it's -- any of the rest of this that he really can't wrap his head around. who the hell would hire her to keep animals in the lobby? how would they -- ]

You took one of those ridiculous jobs on the flyers in Messiah Square Station, didn't you? [which would still be stupid, but at least it'd make a certain amount of sense]

What a good child you are!

[Well, she does seem to have a way with animals, at least. The giraffe has at least stopped awkwardly banging into walls.

...The dragon fish has not and is actively trying to tear down a wall with its lips alone.]

Excellent critical thinking! You're right. And it doesn't specify how long, exactly, so I'm in this for the long haul.

Anyway, it's only been twenty minutes.

[dryly:] How steadfast of you.

[a beat]

What are you hoping to get out of this? [what did the flyer promise her? what can he do, to speed this along, to get all of these animals out of his hotel. and yes, it's his, if only by virtue of being at least in part from his world]

Oh, I'm just doing this out of the goodness of my heart.

[She says, lying through her teeth.]

Isn't it time for us to embrace the other residents of this world? Shouldn't we try to foster relationships with our fellow living beings? We'll all benefit by understanding one another!

[the dragon fish launches itself at damien]

[he would call her out on that being bullshit, if only because that sounds like some bullshit he might come up with -- it takes a liar to spot a liar and all that. unfortunately, however, there's the more immediate problem of the fish flying at him, and he has to duck out of the way, albeit incredibly awkwardly and with no small amount of pain. if his limp, if the brace that runs the length of his left leg from mid-thigh to ankle weren't obvious before, they probably are, now]

Oh, for fuck's sake! I don't want to understand the goddamn fish!

[what he wouldn't give to be able to access his hacks, at the moment. sure, his phone has power, but there's no connectivity. he'd love to blow up one of the computers still behind the front desk, in hopes of scaring her or the fish or whatever off, but alas]

But it really wants to understand you!

[The fish flops on the floor briefly, tuckered out from its attempts at understanding Damien with its claws.]

...I think if you stay still, it will forget you're there.

[#naturehacks]

What happened to your leg? Is 'injury' a thing that this world understands?

[he hums in response, sneering down at the fish. he doesn't move, though, if only because, well, what other choice does he have? let the damn thing chase him around the lobby? no thanks]

It understands it well enough. [well enough that he had to stitch Akechi up, after Hornet stabbed him. well enough that, when he first met Ren, he had a limp, too, after being bitten by one of the fish. and so on and so forth] Unfortunately, it also understands that I had my leg broken in three places, a year ago.

[his disability was something that happened at home, so this place sees it as his default state. it won't heal anymore than it would, in his world, in that case. he wonders, though, if it'll still get worse here. as far as what the doctors told him, he'll be in a wheelchair within the next ten years. that may not happen here, though. hm]

Hmm...

[Viridi abandons her position as Giraffe Tender for a moment to get closer to Damien and peer at his leg. The fish lunges at her, but she somewhat casually ducks at just the right moment.]

...Actually, I can't see anything through your pants, so I don't know what I came over here for. You broke your leg so badly that it's still like this after a year? What did you do, fall off a cliff twice?

You might be out of luck.

[he turns his attentions to her as she approaches, his expression only slightly less suspicious]

If only I were so lucky. [a beat] A group of men were waiting for me, when I got home from work, one night. They beat me into a coma, broke both of my legs in the process. [and another, though this one is largely for effect, if the fact that he drums his fingers very deliberately against the brace is any indication] This one is just the worse of the two.

I'm basically the world's greatest anatomist, if you want me to take a look.

[says the ten year old child feeding a giraffe a potted plant]

But that sounds like the kind of ridiculous thing humans do to each other. I'd offer my condolences, but you're probably tired of that.

The important thing is, did you get revenge?

We'll see.

[it's not her apparent age he has a problem with -- in the time he's been here, he's seen some shit, not to mention the fact that he's dating a goddess, who absolutely doesn't look her age. it's more the fact that imagines that for her to take a look at his leg, she'll actually have to look at it, and that's not something he's really comfortable with, everything below the waist a mess of surgical scars where they had to push his bones back in and put pins in his knees to keep them there. it's a point of vanity and she's a stranger, and one he's still not thrilled by -- though his opinion of her is ticking upwards in measures, particularly when she skips the apology. particularly when she asks if he got his revenge]

[well, that's -- well. his eyebrows raise, then lower again, expression softening a little]

You have no idea. [how old the apologies get] And in a manner of speaking. I didn't pull the trigger personally, but ... [but Aiden has taken more than a pound of flesh from the Chicago South Club, the Irish Mob, the people that made him a cripple. he's more than happy with that, and the unpleasant little smile he flashes her, rather than put that into words, probably makes that clear enough]

[Viridi has never apologized for anything in her (very long) life and she's not about to start now!]

Good.

[She returns to her giraffe, ducks another flying lunge from the fish, and feeds it calmly. The painting ferret thing in the corner is working out its stress with a diorama on the wall.]

I mean -- technically, I disapprove. It's all these petty little grudges that get wars started. But on a personal level - an eye for an eye means the other guy can't get anybody else's eyes.

[he hums]

And the other guy definitely would have gotten lots of other eyes. [a beat, then by way of explanation:] Irish Mob. [they ruined a lot of things beyond just his legs and have been for years, decades]

Eh...

[a slight pause]

I'm not supposed to know what that is yet, so let's just do the whole nudge nudge wink wink kind of thing.

[She pitches her voice a little higher.]

Gosh, what is that? Are you talking about that island filled with those uncivilized Celts way to the northwest? And a mob at that. Terrible. Would hate it if they moved across an ocean and started terrorizing a newer continent.

[A clearing of the throat.]

Anyway, you all are great at inventing new and exciting ways to be terrible to each other. How'd you run afoul of that?

[ ... ]

Who, exactly, do you think you need to perform for?

[he might come back to how he got the Chicago South Club's attention in a minute, but right now, he's more interested in that. maybe her theory as to why they're all here involves having to entertain someone? like The Truman Show, maybe?]

I mean, you.

I'm pretty blase about it, but I have approximate knowledge of most things in the future by dint of my occupation, and it usually bugs people out who'd rather not deal with oracular divination.

[...]

Goddess, by the way. My occupation is goddess.

[he shrugs]

My other half is a goddess. [his girlfriend, though he hates that term as a qualifier. they're not in fucking high school] Melinoë? [maybe they've met. either way, the point is that he's not bugged, as it were]

[A theatrical gasp.]

Mel has a boyfriend?! Oooooooooh ~

[Viridi is definitely in fucking high school.]

...Wait, you're a human. ...Mel has a human boyfriend? Oh, that's weird. Well, I guess she's reincarnated in human form. So that's fine. Right?

I don't know how that works.

Just don't go making any weird super babies; it never turns out well.

[he shrugs]

It works.

[he can't say it's worked perfectly between them, all things considered, but -- every relationship has its ups and downs, right? not that he's going to get into that. it's none of her business]

But no. I'm a little too old for kids -- [he already has a kid, back home. Marcus, fifteen. he also hasn't seen him in ten fucking years because his ex-wife is a bitch] -- and well. Who knows if this place even understands pregnancy to begin with? [it doesn't understand death, for the most part; why why it understand life?]

Eh, you'd be surprised at how long males can be fertile. ...Evolution, am I right or am I right?

[ok gross why are we talking about this]

But I doubt this place will figure it out anytime soon. In the meantime, you treat her well or you'll have two goddesses out to smite you.

Us gals gotta stick together.

open: funemployment

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)