tabularasa_rp | open: worship me

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open: worship me

[ley line]

Behold! Assorted sentient apes of the Void!

I come bearing good tidings for all. I, the Great Goddess Viridi, Beloved Nurturer of All Life, She Whose Gentle Majesty is Incomparable and Whose Praises Shall be Sung on the Tongues of Songbirds for Time Immemorial, have deigned to create for you mortals a physical space in which you might offer me worship and adoration. Our -- my shrine is finally finished to perfection!

In return, I shall solve all your problems with my wisdom accumulated from across the ages. For a small nominal fee of ten to fifty seeds, sprouts, or cuttings of any fruit, flower, vine, bush, or flora of your choice, you, too, can benefit from my divine genius.

Love problems? Love yourself first! Lack of motivation? Hit the gym! Despairing at ever returning home from this featureless depressing waste of a world? Join the club and go pour down some single malt whiskeys.

For a testimonial as to the efficacy of my brilliant wisdom, please refer yourselves to:

-That one guy crying on the mountain
-Captain Capitalism, a.k.a. Kaiba boy
-Or Parsee

Oh speaking of -- go worship Parsee, too. This was technically her shrine first before it merged with the other stuff. I'm a fair goddess. Hey Parsee mind if I invite a bunch of people over to our shrine not hearing a no thanks Parsee!

((respond directly to this - or action threads in comments))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Anyone who... goes to the shrine to take Viridi up on her offer (why would you??) will find that her corner is decorated, as expected, with overflowing bounties of flowers and vines and woodland aesthetic decorations dragged up from the beach.

...Oddly enough, a part of the shrine is very different from the rest. 'Gothic forest' would be an apt description of that bit, and the entrance is marked with a small sign that has, in light script, the words "Mel's Corner". There is a prominently displayed crow decoration that almost seems to be watching with beady eyes.]

Oh hey!

Here for my divine advice?

Tea leaf lotion! That's what you need. I've got a great formula for you right h -- wait, you're not here for those craters on your face? Ooh, awkward.

[So, funny story Viridi! Parsee absolutely didn't send a message telling her no, because she was back in Gensokyo for the first week of February. Nobody had seen hide nor hair of her for the last week when she just showed up on the bridge, walking towards the shrine.

The first sign that she was back was a firm thump on that drum she'd dragged to the shrine because she didn't want it causing trouble for other people. Hey, guess who was back... and making a racket on a Taiko Drum?]

Urgh!

[says Viridi, who probably doesn't constitute 'other people' by dint of being too annoying to consider]

What is that infernal s -- Parsee?!

Huh, I thought you died. [died, went home, same diff]. Do I have to share the shrine again?

[although Parsee will probably notice her corner has also been kept fairly tidy]

Loooooong time ago, Viridi. Long time ago. [In so far as intentionally becoming a spirit was death.] Now that was the reception I expected when I reappeared on the bridge this morning. Nice to see you're still consistent.

[Was that a diss or a complement? That could be hard to say, but Parsee was a creature who appreciated that there were stable things in her life. Knowing that she was going to have to share her space with a half-pint kid of a goddess she'd grouse at all the time? Consistent.]

It seems you're stuck with me, Viridi. Aren't you lucky? Don't get to have the shrine all to yourself.

[She almost mentioned that the whole place was cleaned, but it seemed rude to bring up Mel that way. So, for once she wasn't.]

...how long was I gone?

Eh, about a week-ish. You didn't miss very much, if you didn't notice from everything being exactly the same.

I made that sign.

[She gestures to an odd plaque in brushboy writing that says RIP PARSEE NOW AT LAST THIS PLACE IS MINE.]

Arts and crafts for the animal friends. It helps their fine motor skills.

So you went home? I assume it was longer than a week.

Won't be needing that now, will we? [YOINK! Everyone's a critic.] I'm pretty sure we can give them something else to paint in the meantime other than notifications of my untimely second demise...

...

A few years, actually. Very boring, monotonous, insane years surrounded by people ignoring me like always. Last I remember was some stupid bullcrap about folk tales and urban legends.

Hey! You should admire and appreciate artwork.

[Her protests are insincere given that it's clear this exists solely for the purpose of being annoying.]

A few years? [for normal people, this would be a lot, but for the two of them, that's a few long naps] Well, welcome back, I guess. Every moment in this place feels like a few years, so there's that.

Did some stories bring a new folk god to life or something?

[She snickered and looked back.] Put up artwork, and I'll admire it. Even if it's crappy artwork.

[A wink and she just shot her the biggest shit-eating grin. They both knew it was an insincere suggestion after all. And no way was she leaving that sign up.]

Mmmm, it's better here than there. I'll say that much. [Gruuuunt] And no. A bunch of powerful youkai decided to treat folk stories as toys and play with them, subjecting people to them, and the one who won the fight and... something about magical balls. That folk story ended up real?

I'm not actually sure if it played out that way.

...Has anyone ever told you you're terrible at explaining things?

Anyway I have no idea what you're talking about. Not that it's super relevant to me. I guess I should ask if that means anything's changed about you, but it doesn't seem like it.

['magical balls' really]

Well, it's not my fault that my world is stupid? Basically, a bunch of magically powerful idiots decided to see who was most powerful by having a game that involved who had the best urban legend, and so which one really was real because they were the best?

I think the magic balls powered it and made it real? Look, I wasn't one of the ones with an urban legend to screw around with. Ok?

[Mutter mutter. She wanted one.]

But no. I didn't change at all. Still same youkai. Same bridge. Everyone still ignor....

yeah, this place is better.

Stillllllll very opaque.

The only urban legend I know about is the one where you get a call and there is no clown statue. ...Or something like that. It's mostly just memetic to hate clowns nowadays, and I'm all about memes.

Don't worry, Parsee.

[She gives her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.]

I don't ignore you. I just annoy you.

... uh... there was one that involved phone calls and some weirdo being behind you with a knife. Pretty sure she was just holding a squeak toy. Pretty sure. Mostly sure.

...

Ok, nobody's sure with that girl. [Grunt] It's a miracle I can even remember her these days. Anyway yeah. You definitely don't ignore me. I'll say that. You like agitating me. It's mutual.

It's a popular kind of trope.

[She gives a shrug.]

Personally, I can't imagine anything more frightening than the reality of humanity's violent and nature-abusing ways so I don't see why they need to come up with stories, but nobody asks my opinion.

[for good reason]

Anyway, welcome back, I guess. Some girl in a blue dress has been moping about looking for you every day. And the robot - Legion. Probably a few others, I started chasing them away with Urgle.

[A tree in a corner that had previously been silent opens an eyeball and gives a wave.]

Humans are weird about wanting different ways to be scared. I've never seen the appeal of fear, honestly.

...
...

Rinoa was here? [She blinked. Was she pissed off at her chasing them away? Not really.] Legion I'd expect but Rinoa came looking for me?

[Ooop, that was the name of the girl she'd mentioned before wasn't it? The one she might...

And just as she said it, she started to descend into a coughing fit. Only early stages, but she was surprised by it all the same. Ngh. That was weird. She hadn't been sick in centuries. Must have been a frog in her throat.]

Oh?

Yes, ~Rinoa~ was here.

[Viridi says this in the most obnoxious sing-song tone possible. She attributes the coughing fit to embarrassment.]

Is there an... issue?

There's no issue! We're talking about it!

[By which, the hacking, coughing girl meant that she'd had literally one conversation where she'd admitted that she might be falling for Rinoa, explaining her rabid jealousy, well over a month ago. And had been avoiding the topic ever since. So, they really weren't talking about it.]

You can't rush this crap... but she was really here? Looking for me? What did she say?

She said, 'where is my true love Parsee the one for whom my heart longs?'

[In contrast, this is spoken in as dead-pan a tone possible.]

She said, 'have you seen Parsee? oh you haven't? is she really gone? that really sucks.' like a normal person.

Sheesh.

...Are you OK? You sound, uh, diseased.

You're such a shit sometimes, you know that?

[Potty mouth on this one. She coughed once into her hand and frowned. That... that was a, and then an errant breeze pulled the single petal away before she had time to really process the sight. No... it couldn't be.]

I know you're lying the first time. That's not how she talks. But... I didn't think she'd come looking for me, like that. [... frown.] It's a cough. Spirits don't get sick, but since when does the Void understand that?

I think we've established that we're both terrible to each other, yes.

[she seems unfazed]

I mean, obviously she thinks you're good friends. I mean, the two of us are more like work colleagues, and even I wandered around looking for you for a few.

Not that long, though.

Why are you sick? Are you contagious? Please back up twenty feet, thanks.

[Wait? This little blonde hobgoblin had looked for her? Parsee leveled a little 'buuuuuullshit' look at her when she said that, though she eventually thought of a ew reasons she might have actually done it, so she didn't say anything. Still!]

No, I don't actually think I'm contagious. Least of all to you. [If this was what she was having an inkling it was, Viridi was too self-absorbed to be affected, or so she assumed.]

Hmmmmmmmm.

[Viridi squints before backing up ten feet anyway.]

No offense, but with the wacky hijinks this place comes up with, you're probably super contagious.

I'm not responsible for viruses, by the way, so don't blame me. Also known as 'technically not alive' packages of protein and DNA.

Bacteria are a different story.

None actually taken, but... [Cough. Yep... definitely another feather. FUCK.] I... think I know what this might be. It's not catching, and you are about the last person I think would ever get this. It's not a natural disease.

...

This is totally not my fault. It's absolutely not my fault. I only just learned it exists back home.

...Parsee, did you go home just to bring back some sort of super weird esoteric disease?

[She squints even further.]

That's exactly the kind of thing this place would do, isn't it?

Alright, well, how do you cure it so I minimize the chance of me being mildly inconvenienced?

[Hah, neither of them knew it, but it was totally Legion's accidental doing. The Geth had been the one keyed off for the Overgrowth plague. But such things weren't always clear.]

Well that wasn't the plan obviously but it is the sort of thing the Void would do But if you aren't repressing feelings you're probably fine. We both know why I would have something like that, and I'm not talking 'bout that. But you're hardly the repress anything sort.

It's a mental disease?

[She gives a faint shrug.]

Alright, well, there's literally an adjective for that and I am, indeed, irrepressible. Guess you gotta deal with it.

You should tell me all about Rinoa so you heal faster.

shrine, ota

Re: shrine, a whole flipping week later! (Forward dated to Feb 7)

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